Eurovision 2019 - The Review!

So while this blog is not written in much anymore, one aspect of it that does survive are the (much coveted) Eurovision reviews! At least I hope so...

This year, the much loved Song Contest comes from the not at all controversial city of Tel Aviv in Israel after victory for Netta last year with her cluckety-clucking song, 'Toy'. While I was not able to make it out there this year, we enjoyed the Contest in the wonderful surroundings of the Northampton Filmhouse with 60 odd other Eurovisionistas and witnessed the brilliant, the bad, the belligerent and the barmy, in what was the 64th edition of the Eurovision Song Contest! I suppose it's customary to start with Number One...

[The two figures after the total score indicate the public vote, followed by the jury vote]

1) MALTA - Michela Pace with 'Chameleon' - 16th with 95 points (20/75)

I wonder what it feels like to be an 18-year old opening the world's biggest song contest in front of 200 million people? Well, Michela got that honour this year with a catchy tune about chameleons. Oh, it gets MUCH madder than this don't you worry, but while it's always tough to be a show opener, Michela give it a good crack. A nervous start maybe, but she grew into it, especially when the chorus kicked in. Helped by the dancers, she got the show off to a raucous start. 16th finish was a tad harsh...


2) ALBANIA  - Jonida Maliqi with 'Ktheju Tokes' - 18th with 90 points (47/43)

As is so frequently mentioned, no one has ever won Eurovision from 2nd in the running order; so much so that the producers automatically place a poor song in the spot. This dubious honour went to Albania's Jonida. With an Instagram following of 450,000, she's a popular name in the East, but with so many good songs in the lineup, this was merely forgotten about. 18th was fair.


3) CZECH REPUBLIC - Lake Malawi with 'Friend of a Friend' - 11th with 157 points (7/150)

One of the songs I was listening to the most in the lead up was this from the Czech Republic. After such a dry spell, the Czechs have upped their game in the last few years, especially when they had Mikolas Josef do so well last year.

The graphics on this were superb, and indeed one of the few aspects of the show you miss out on if you are live in the arena. As Graham Norton suggested, the lyrics are a little bit questionable and the smile from the guitarist was a tad disconcerting, but the song is fun and was probably a bit unlucky to just miss out on a top 10. Massively let down by the viewing public who did not rate it at all, giving it just 7 points...


4) GERMANY - S!sters with 'Sister' - 24th with 32 points (0/32)

With the new two-sector voting system, it is now much more difficult to get the dreaded 'nul points' but, from the public at least, the German "sisters" (who are not really sisters) got exactly that. One of the more awkward moments of the contest was the presenter apologising before announcing, "Sorry... Zero points". I thought nothing of this song before the contest; rather bland and "meh", but they performed it well on the night. But it was never going to win.


5) RUSSIA - Sergey Lazarev with 'Scream' - 3rd with 369 points (244/125)

After a brutal spell of booing and hissing from Eurovision fans in years gone by, the Russians seemed to have escaped the political scowling for now, and while they send entries like this, that will continue to be the case. Sergey, who also sang in 2016, was his own backing singer in what turned out to be clever staging and a really great song, with a great voice. 3rd was not predicted by me, but entirely deserved.


6) DENMARK - Leonora with 'Love is Forever' - 12th with 120 points (51/69)

This was the first of a few moments where I chose to visit the bar. Described by fellow Filmhousers as "twee", this offering from the Danish was a far cry from the bold and boisterous Rasmussen last year. Despite this, it made it to the left hand side of the scoreboard, thanks in large to friendly jury voting, but it was easily forgettable and won't be remembered by very many.

7) SAN MARINO - Serhat with 'Say Na Na Na' - 20th with 81 points (65/16)

The Sammarinese have only ever made it to the Grand Final once before, so when Serhat was announced as a finalist on Tuesday evening, the whole of Europe cheered, (I hope!) One of three songs I actually spent money to vote on, I really liked the simple, catchy nature of the song and encapsulated what Eurovision is all about. Never give up. Dare to dream! Despite Serhat, (who is Turkish) rocking the gruff vocals, 20th was a bit harsh, but is San Marino's best ever placing in a Eurovision Song Contest.

8) NORTH MACEDONIA - Tamara Todevska with 'Proud' - 8th with 295 points (58/237)

The FORMER Former Yugoslav Republic of Mouthful has had a re-brand, and debuting for the the "new" country was Claire Underwood from hit series 'House of Cards'. I kid, her real name is Tamara Todevska, and quite possibly provided the shock of the contest as it led for the majority of the jury announcements, before being pipped by the Swedes. Finishing 2nd with the juries was offset by a poor public vote, but 8th was an unexpected yet good result for the North Macedonian's.


9) SWEDEN - John Lundvik with 'Too Late for Love' - 6th with 332 points (93/239)

Speaking of the effervescent Sweden, John Lundvik, who won the famous Melodifestivalen contest, an eight week 'X-Factor' style contest to decide the Swedish entry is a far cry from what we experience at home. This swish and highly accomplished song won the jury vote, and surprised many with such a low public vote, but while Sweden continue to take the contest seriously, they will always be there or thereabouts. Sixth is fair.


10) SLOVENIA - Zala Kralj & Gasper Santl with 'Sebi' - 13th with 105 points (59/46)

Every now and then, Eurovision throws up a creepy number and this one is that song. The Mark Zuckerberg lookalike seems to have Zala in his grasp, as if she is part of his cult or trapped in some vicious circle of love. The occasional pressing of a button from Gasper on a DJ machine (although no live instruments are used) was distracting and frankly, a 13th placed finish is an insult. Boring, creepy and not at all likeable. Next!



11) CYPRUS - Tamta with 'Replay' - 15th with 101 points (32/69)

Eurovision fans really do not like it when a song is basically re-hashed from the year before, and if 'Fuego' had never existed, this would surely have placed higher. However, Cyprus, who have never won the Eurovision Song Contest, decided to create Fuego 2.0 after it's runner-up spot last year and despite it being a good, catchy pop song, it was just too similar and therefore not the originality that Eurovision demands these days.

Even a cheeky costume change half way through did nothing to change Tamta's fortunes, who must make do with a low finish.


12) NETHERLANDS - Duncan Laurence with 'Arcade' - 1ST WITH 492 POINTS (261/231)

Ever imagined writing your first ever song, performing it and then taking it to Eurovision where it wins? This year's motto was 'Dare to Dream', and Duncan Laurence did just that, as his song about love being a losing game hit the right notes and justified the bookies predictions of victory. I honestly thought it would get lost somewhere, but everyone seemed to love it and quite rightly, The Netherlands have their first victory since 1975. Amsterdam 2020?


13) GREECE - Katerine Duska with 'Better Love' - 21st with 71 points (24/47)

As ever, it's never easy following the eventual winner but this nice, flowery song from Greece was always going to get lost in amidst a strong second-half of the running order. Even the throwing of an inflatable ball into the crowd did nothing to make it stand out, and this was one of a few that I just can't remember without listening back to it. Onwards...


14) ISRAEL - Kobi Marimi with 'Home' - 23rd with 47 points (35/12)

What a thrill it must be to perform at Eurovision in front of your home crowd, but retaining the Eurovision crown is not as easy as it once was, (the last time it occurred was for Ireland in 1994). We discovered during the semi-finals that Kobi was an emotional man, but I genuinely found the wailing at the end of his song quite disconcerting... The song itself was nice; and he has a good voice but again, it got lost. 23rd was harsh.



15) NORWAY - KEiiNO with 'Spirit in the Sky' - 5th with 338 points (291/47)

With a variety of voices, a solid melody and some local lingo thrown in, the Norwegian entry was the favourite of many from the start. Indeed, it won the public vote but there was controversy in the jury final when they had technical difficulties. A request to perform again was turned down, and they ended with just 47 points from juries... An argument that they were robbed has begun...



16) UNITED KINGDOM - Michael Rice with 'Bigger Than Us' - 26th with 16 points (3/13)

Frustration doesn't begin to cover it... How much longer do we have to endure being the laughing stock of this competition? In the past few years, I've had a certain level of optimism (especially with Lucie Jones), but this year, I just knew we were going to bomb. I didn't particularly like the song at the National Final, and I didn't like it in Tel Aviv. Boring ballads go nowhere, and we can talk about Michael's amazing voice until the sun sets, but we are no nearer to a British victory.


17) ICELAND - Hatari with 'Hatrid Mun Sigra' - 10th with 234 points (186/48)

Speaking of originality... (Very) occasionally, Eurovision produces an act that defies logic. A BDSM, leather-clad techno punk band isn't the usual act you'd find on the stages of Eurovisions gone past, but this anti-capitalist group hell bent on bondage and screaming produced the most conversation in this year's contest, not least when they produced the Palestinian flag during the announcement of their result. Sanctions will surely follow, but my guess is that Hatari don't care! Despite not being my usual cup of tea, 10th was fair.


18) ESTONIA - Victor Crone with 'Storm' - 19th with 86 points (48/38)

Another one of the forgettable crowd, Victor got lost in the blaze of fire and brimstone from the Icelandic entry that preceded it. The watching public were still talking about the screaming that this just passed them by.

I might have gone to the bar again at this point, but it's a haze by song 19... Couldn't see it finishing on the left hand side of the scoreboard and 19th seemed fair enough.


19) BELARUS - Zena with 'Like It' - 25th with 31 points (13/18)

At 16 years old, Zena was the youngest contestant in this year's edition and a second to last finish was extremely harsh for a likeable song that had a good catchy vibe to it. She may have come across as extremely nervous, which didn't help, but there were certainly worse songs than this in the Grand Final.

Europe did not like it...


20) AZERBAIJAN - Chingiz with 'Truth' - 7th with 297 points (100/197)

Into the 20's and potentially the strongest finish to a Contest in recent history with many favourites coming in the final stretch of songs. Starting with this from Chingiz, who most certainly got a lot of the votes from the gay community who swooned over their man. I didn't think an awful lot of this song, and was looking forward to the songs to come...



21) FRANCE - Bilal Hassani with 'Roi' - 14th with 105 points (38/67)

This is one of two songs that I didn't think much of until I saw it live on stage and then it all made sense. I love the message of this song, and applaud the French for their inclusivity about issues that don't get much of a mention in the world of showbiz. 14th place was a harsh finish for this French YouTube star, who raised a few smiles in the Filmhouse.


22) ITALY - Mahmood with 'Soldi' - 2nd with 465 points (253/212)

Mahmood caused a bit of a stir after he was selected to represent Italy; or rather the politicians did as an Italian Minister demanded he be replaced due to his Muslim faith. When the 2nd placed act was approached, they refused, as did the 3rd placed act, before Italy accepted that Mahmood was their man. Good choice! Great song, a bit different and a catchy mid-song clap were all plus points in a great result for the Italians.


23) SERBIA - Nevena Bozovic with 'Kruna' - 17th with 92 points (54/38)

A ballad is not what we need at number 23 in the running order, and despite a lot of natural allies, Serbia's offering got lost amongst the favourites towards the end of the contest. Indeed, yet another trip to the bar (don't judge!) was made by myself at this point. I did put it through in the semi-finals, but at this point, we needed a banger and a bop we could dance to, and you could sense the audience just wanting it to end in the Filmhouse. 17th was fair.



24) SWITZERLAND - Luca Hanni with 'She Got Me' - 4th with 360 points (212/148)

My personal favourite and not just for the obvious reasons, was this from Luca Hanni and the Swiss. Again, Switzerland doesn't have the greatest of records, with their last victory coming courtesy of Celine Dion in 1988.

It's a great song; catchy and contemporary, I thought it would do better than 4th. Just goes to show the strength of this year's competition.



25) AUSTRALIA - Kate Miller-Heidke with 'Zero Gravity' - 9th with 285 points (131/154)

The second of the songs that owes all to it's staging is from Australia, (yes, come on now... We're over that already!) and my word, was it good. Benefiting from great camera work, Kate hovered in mid air with her two dancers while belting out her poperatic song with pure precision. I was genuinely surprised the public didn't vote for her more, but this is up there with one of the best staged songs of the decade.


26) SPAIN - Miki with 'La Venda' - 22nd with 60 points (53/7)

Possibly the biggest scandal of the contest was the fact this finished 22nd. 'The Most Fun in a Song' award goes to Miki, and indeed, this was voted as the winner in the Northampton Filmhouse. But as is ever, when the final song comes around, everyone is totting up their scorecards and ignoring the 26th and final number. A huge shame really. My early favourite, and it remains so!



So there we have it. Another Eurovision season is over, with 2020's destination being The Netherlands! With Amsterdam or Rotterdam the likely hosts, I do hope to be able to go to the first contest of the new decade. This year's competition was of a high standard, and the United Kingdom need to start sending good songs. There is no blame attached to Michael Rice at all, for his voice is excellent, but airy fairy ballads no longer cut the European mustard.

Congratulations to Duncan Laurence! See you all in 12 months time!