Keep Calm and Carry On

Not a lot has happened recently, unless you count the Olympic Games and the fact that we've won a league championship. Otherwise, it's been coasting with the occasional worry and franticism, which is pretty standard in the up down life that is Mitten's..

Yes, "franticism" is a word I've made up. I'm allowed.

I don't really know how to describe the last few weeks. I've tried to look to the future a bit more before realising that it isn't the best way to look at things. Taking one day at a time is what has led me here, and I shouldn't change a recipe that works. I can't really imagine a bright future ahead, what with the very ordinary life I've ended up in, but given the choice between this and a couple of years ago, I'd take 2012 every time. Every time I wonder about what could have been, during a dull period in my office at the back of the shop, I take my mind back to Saturday nights in BP, with The Wall, and the severe lack of sleep and happiness that eluded me for that year in Hell. Anything is better than that right?

But I can't help but think ahead to the future sometimes. The Summer is drawing to a close, and it hasn't been a cracker by any stretch of the imagination. Yes, it's had its moments, but it hasn't come close to the phenomonal heights that 2011 brought. It's nearly 8.30pm, and the darkness is drawing ever closer. Every time I think about the oncoming Winter, every time I'm terrified of the reactions it will bring from me, before reminding myself to think about tomorrow first before thinking about a few months time. It's very difficult this, but I'm coping.

Cricket has been a mixture of frustration, laughter and attempting to get the best out of players, with the results a mixture of success and failure. We're now champions of our Saturday division, which has looked like a formality for a number of weeks now, but yesterday, we severely damaged our hopes of a much-needed promotion from the Sunday division with a narrow loss. I do enjoy playing, don't get me wrong, but when I have no choice but to pick the 'Director of Cricket' due to lack of numbers, I do feel a little bit upstaged. He has the humour of a piece of coal, is incredibly difficult to get even a smile from, and every time you talk to him, you feel as if he's about to knock your head off at any moment. When he takes over then, making decisions ahead of myself whilst "in-game", regardless of whether they are right or wrong, I do feel like I can't do anything. There were stages during the weekend where I felt incredibly undermined, but me being me, I find it difficult to pipe up about these sorts of things. I've done it once, yes, but that was during a confident phase. I haven't had a good week in terms of "mood", so I was reluctant to speak up again. It's something to work on.

As for that "mood" that I mentioned, I don't know... I know now that it was simply a phase, and I have always been told that there will be good and bad phases. That is rational thinking. But in the middle of a "bad phase", you just think, in fact... you know... that it will last forever. It's a fact. This will last forever. But it doesn't. Irrational thinking. It's not a good thing...

I do have something to look forward to though! In 10 days time, I'll be getting a train to Cardiff to visit Sister Mitten in her new abode aswell as join Mr.Field in watching England vs South Africa followed by Twenty20 Finals Day in the Welsh capital that includes a couple of nights out in Swansea. Should be fantastic!

But until then, I must plough on, for I have no choice. Keep calm and carry on, for it is the British way.