It's been a rather difficult week. I'm becoming increasingly and alarmingly disillusioned with the monotony that life brings. Get up for work, walk to work, sit in an office chair, walk home, watch TV. Monday to Friday. The weekends are still enjoyable enough, but I find myself wandering into the thoughts that even these are becoming repetitive. Nights out are spent in good company yes, but as the night goes on, I drift into negativity. Fuelled by alcohol, my thoughts turn towards life itself, and its so draining. I've spent a lot of this week asleep, with no energy to function or do the simplest of tasks. Its the same old story, but somehow this feels different from past stages. This feels like my own doing, and a result of not doing the right things. I am eating unhealthily, doing less and less exercise, drinking more. All these things I can change, yet I sit here and don't. Why?
I'm trying to change some things. I'm looking for a new job, and trying everything in my power to change that aspect. But with the climate as it is, and with no clue whatsoever, (still), of what I want from life, its so very difficult to make any firm commitment. I'm so envious of people who know exactly what they want from life. I know that if I had an end goal, a final destination, it would be so much easier. But I don't. I never have.
I've completely run out of ideas.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment