Bad Form

I'm not going to lie, my life has been too busy to be updating this. In the week, my days are a good ten and a half hours, and by the time I've got home, made dinner, eaten said dinner, made my lunch for the next day and ironed my shirt, I am that tired that I retreat to my room and collapse like an unfit marathon runner. Life has been ... Well... Life. Weeks come and go before you can even think about saying 'Monday morning', the new job is going swimmingly, and life in the flat is as good as ever, although I note that I am slowly getting lazier and more untidy as the weeks fly past. I am also noticing a decline in my partying habits as hangovers last longer and money is now spent on dull things like council tax and washing powder rather than Jack Daniels. I believe it is called "growing up", which I've tried avoiding for as long as possible, but can no longer escape its longing claws.

All is going well then, except one thing. Cricket. The one thing I have enjoyed more than anything else since my first ever match as a 15-year old. As a team, we are doing great. Mid-table mediocrity on Saturdays, which is acceptable given I am trialing youth team players who are doing exceedingly well at the step above what they're used to. On Sundays, we are flying high. 150 points out of a maximum of 150 available means we are sitting on top of the tree with 5 wins out of 5. Players have been putting in magical individual performances which have helped us to that level. Monty scored 129 at Harrold. Abid has two five-wicket hauls and Boony secured figures of 7-19 last weekend. Me? I haven't even made it into double figures yet. My batting form has become that bad, that its quite literally laughable among my teammates and even my colleagues at work. And I despise it.

I can take a bit of banter about it here and there. Its to be accepted. But there are two issues with this now:

1) Its gone on for so long that any attempt at banter in my direction is slowly but surely integrating into my brain as fact. I'm not entirely sure my teammates know that any comments do now have a negative impact.

And 2) Some of them insist on taking the mickey two minutes before I go out to bat. Not content with throwing banter around the table with a pint in hand, some of them say things like "Try and make 10 today hey", as I'M WALKING OUT TO THE MIDDLE. I do not need to hear that just before I start batting.

And its got to a point now where I'm seriously considering a break from the game altogether. I can't say I'll quit forever, because I don't want to, but these last few weeks have been draining at best. I can't justify my place in the team at the moment and I don't think I should use the "I'm captain so I stay" card. I have another game tomorrow, (I made 6 today and then caught in the gully), and we shall see how that goes, but this sport at the moment is making me slightly disillusioned. I don't like it.