I met a guy tonight. I've heard many stories about guys meeting girls in clubs and the relationship blossoming and they end as one. My mind tells me to be apprehensive. It's two drunk guys meeting in a club and it's going nowhere. But this guy seems genuine.
It's obvious he has a kind heart and he laughed at my drunken "straight" friends and he was just so cool. But we were drunk. We talk about going out for a date and so on but my mind automatically defaults to 'drunken mishap'.
I have zero confidence in myself.
And I can't fight past that. In my mind, I don't get why anyone would want to date me. My confidence is so completely shot that I feel like I'd be a complete burden to anyone I got close too.
Do you know how painful that is?
I'm now at a stage where I'm waiting to hear whether I'm more than just a one night fling. Even if I am, I have to go through the awkwardness of dates and signs and rigmarole. I'm not sure my mind can deal with the pressures of it all. I know I have to if I want to find love but I am TERRIFIED.
I'm terrified.
Why does it have to be so difficult?
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