"You're Doing Too Much, Tom"

Someone asked me the other day, "How on Earth do you find the time to do all that you do? One day I'm reading on Facebook that you're doing this, and then the next day it's that!" My answer is always the same. Many people presume I work long into the night, doing this, that and t'other, sleeping 4 hours a night 'a la Thatcher' and going to work in the morning, but it's far from it.

I think it's true, that I do regularly work for a couple more hours per day than I'm supposed to, but it isn't excessive. I also have very few distractions. I live alone, I don't really find TV all that interesting and more recently I'm finding myself going to sleep at night wondering if I could always be doing more. My ultimate dream is to become a published novelist, but the book won't write itself. This past month or so, I've been lying in bed for hours wondering what it would be like to have your own book on the bookshelves of bookshops and libraries. Before I knew it, it was 2am and the alarm clock began wailing not long after. Another night wasted. I've made a bit of progress recently, finishing chapter 8 with aplomb on the train to London this afternoon.

One mantle I've used recently; probably the very first and most prominent thing my Dad taught me, was the phrase, "If you want something doing, do it yourself."

It makes complete sense. Also something else I remember from living at home, not long after my face was the main story in the local paper after I outed the Bedfordshire FA Chief Executive as racist was my sister telling me I'm the kind of person who will always stand up for what they believe in. I've never really been comfortable with that label as it makes me sound a bit militant, but I suppose it's true as well. I've consistently had to bite my tongue recently on social media, not to get into hopeless arguments with randomers about Brexit and Trump et al, but in general I will mix those two family opinions into one.

Stand up for what you believe in, and do it by your own accord.

It also provides a bit of variety to life. I met with Stonewall today along with a friend of mine, to discuss initiatives to fight for LGBT equality in football, and I had no idea what I was talking about. Sure, I have experiences, not all of them good, but when it comes to this sort of thing, I am highly impatient. I want this to happen, and I want it to happen now. Luckily I had Ryan there to provide a professional approach in regards to research done and surveys etc. but I made no bones about the fact I still feel sour at being forced out of the game because I'm gay, (see roughly ten blogs back). I think that probably came across a bit too much, but it was a useful hour and we have a few avenues we can go down. Plus, of course, the network of contacts has increased by two, which is always extremely useful.

The wonderful lady I was meeting with seemed surprised that I had met on my day off, but I don't think I'd have it any other way. I tend to use my weekends to let loose, then let it all out while hungover but the working week is the working week. I feel like I need to justify my weekend jaunts by doing all I can in the week, which isn't the worst life plan in the world. I'm finding that the writing of said novel is the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life. Making sure the story is interesting, while simultaneously maintaining character traits, plot structure and historical context instead of just vomiting words on to a screen is a big challenge. So much so that I'm gearing towards forgetting historical context and trying to justify using artistic licence to let myself be a bit more creative with the storyline. My impatient nature doesn't fit very well with the careful and pinpoint process of fictional writing, but I'm getting there.

We plough on. I know none of this is going to come easy, for nothing ever does, but for those of you who are worried that I am doing too much, please don't. I sleep much more than the average person does yet still has the time to do all of this. It probably helps that I don't use my Netflix account and my recent Football Manager game corrupted. No distractions, apart from the large bar of chocolate in the fridge and the addiction to Australian soaps that I just cannot shift. Thankfully, Home & Away finishes at 6:30pm. My mind is free from then on...