Eurovision 2017 - It's Kyiv Calling!

Yeeeees, I know, I know. The Eurovision Song Contest is not everyone's cup of tea. In fact, if you're my Dad, you'll be the sort of person who would watch re-runs of DIY SOS to avoid BBC One on Eurovision Saturday. But, if you knew me, you'll know that I am absolutely obsessed; and seeing as next week is Eurovision week, it's time to preview the vast number of songs that will bless our TV screens in the very near future.

As is usual with these kinds of posts, we'll start with the serious contenders. The top of the charts. The crème de la crème of the 62nd Eurovision Song Contest, coming to us live from the city of Kyiv in Ukraine, thanks to last year's controversial winner, Jamala. The immediate favourite, and a song that has been favourite for quite some time now, comes from Italy and Francesco Gabbani. 'Occidentali's Karma', sang primarily in his native tongue with dashes of English thrown in, features a dancing gorilla and memorable dance moves. Personally, I think I've become a victim of over-listening to this and I'm now a tad bored of it, but the majority of viewers tuning in on Saturday 13th May will not have heard it before and be instantly hooked!

Francesco and his dancing gorilla have captured the hearts
of the die hard Eurovision fan, but will it capture Europe's?

Another major contender is one of the ultimate Eurovision dark horses, Bulgaria. 17 year old Kristian Kostov presents us with a ballad that builds up nicely and belts out a few big notes at the end, a la classic ballad. I personally don't think that much of it, but he has performed admirably in preview shows around the continent and just like the Italians, Kristian is right up there with a lot of bookies.

Another perennial dark horse of recent years, Belgium, have one of the best songs in this year's competition. Blanche with 'City Lights' is superb and the music video matches it, but it will need a lot of work to come across as amazing live in Kyiv. In London, she merely stood and delivered, which was a tad boring. It's going to need some special effects of some sort to make her stand out from the crowd, but once again, the Belgians are not to be underestimated.

Moving away from the song list slightly, we shall move on to darker matters. A lot of people claim Eurovision is "too political", a view I have largely disagreed with, but that argument gains traction this year with the Russians pulling out due to their tensions with our host country. It's a huge shame, as Russia are a major part of any Eurovision. What's more, who are the fans going to boo?!

In all seriousness though, I'm a tad relieved. It's been an awkward watch in recent years when the Russian act, whoever they may be, are booed relentlessly for something completely out of their control. The poor Tolmachevy Sisters didn't know what hit them in 2014. There was a point where we were faced with watching the Russian act via video link, but that would have made a farce of the whole thing. 'Celebrate Diversity', the slogan for this year, would take on a redundant meeting. In many ways, it still has...

But back to the main event, and the 42 countries who will present us with their finest musicians. As has been custom in recent years, there are a lot of very forgettable ballads, sung by beautiful women in long flowing dresses. I won't bother touching upon them as we'll be here until Eurovision 2018, but there is one that has caught my ear...

'Blackbird' by Norma John, representing Finland this year, is a beautiful if sad rendition about losing a loved one. It hit close to home when I first heard it, and I think the simplicity of it will really endear to the Eurovision crowd.

Watch out for the very talented
pianist who has a terrific solo
halfway through Finland's entry...

While this is a beautiful song, I do fear for it's semi-final slot. Preceding this from Finland, is a song called 'Space' by Slavko Kalezic from Montenegro. Now, to call this song 'enthusiastic' would be doing it a great disservice. Slavko, with his really, really... REALLY long ponytail and tendency to get his kit off, (he most certainly did at the London Eurovision Party!), poor Norma may be blown away by the audaciousness of the act before her. Otherwise, I do hope it does well and gets to the grand final on the 13th May.



We can't write a post such as this without mentioning the Swedes now can we? After many weeks of the gruelling X-Factor-esque competition called 'Melodifestivalen', Robin Bengtsson emerged victorious with his song 'I Can't Go On'. As attractive as this man is, and as imposing as he and his backing dancers are, I don't like it. Just like last year's act (the moody teenager that was Frans), there's a certain arrogance and a dislikeable persona that I just can't put my finger on. Robin is the very first song on the running order in semi-final 1, but it's sure to get through to the final. A Eurovision final without Sweden is like Sebastian Tellier without a beard. Ryan Dolan without topless drummers. Donatan & Cleo without plungers...

And last and alphabetically least, the United Kingdom. This year, we are represented by Lucie Jones, a name some of you may recognise from the X Factor a few years ago. Apparently Ed Sheeran was offered the gig but he was a bit busy dying his hair...

Lucie's song is good though, and got through the UK final with flying colours against some other decent songs. As one of the privileged few who sifted through the public submissions, I can tell you there wasn't much else, but 'Never Give Up on You' is a decent effort. It will need something memorable to give us any chance of being on the left hand side of the scoreboard, but I'm sure Lucie will do us proud all the same!

Lucie Jones will hope that Europe is kind to her...

And yes, we are still allowed to compete... We are still in Europe...

So, 36 songs will compete in the first two semi-finals, to be held on 9th & 11th May and broadcast LIVE on BBC Four in the UK. Six countries, (including the UK) automatically go through to the final by virtue of the 'Big 5' who contribute most financially plus last year's winners, Ukraine!

The Grand Final, hosted in the UK by the one and only Graham Norton, is on Saturday 13th May on BBC One at 8pm! Whether you are at home, at a party or in the midst of the Eurovision bubble in Kyiv, have a wonderful time!