Drunks

Drunks. There are loads of different types, some are good and some, just aren't. In the job I'm in at the moment, we get all sorts, but I hadn't come up against the most fearsome drunk of all. I make him sound like the final boss in a particularly difficult video game but, none the less, the abusive drunk is certainly the worst.

Sometimes, you get giggly drunks. These are fine, if not a tad wierd, when you say anything and they instantly start laughing. You get a sort of good feeling inside, the one you get when you make someone laugh but it is quickly evaporated as it strikes you that they are wasted and you're the idiot in the equation.

Sometimes you get flirty drunks. The girls who come in and call you "cute" and "hot" and all the other things that drunk girls think they're funny with. I have to admit this embarrasses me a bit as most of the time, I haven't got a clue who these girls are. The only comfort I can take, is that they're certainly aiming the compliments at me, seeing as no young, good-looking feminine types tend to go for fitting Asian men..

Sometimes you get the genuinely funny drunks. The comedians, the jokers, the clowns. The ones who say jokes and pull of stunts for the sole case of getting laughs from everyone in the vicinity, and the ones that are good at it, have the ability to turn a bad night into a good one. One springs to mind where someone realised there were cameras in the building and proceeded to give every one of them the 'V' sign. Now, not so funny at the time, but when I was in the same room as The Goddess of All Evil at 6.10 in the morning, and she's watching CCTV and sees that? Funniest thing alive. I guarantee it.

However, there is one other type of drunk. The type I got tonight. The ultra aggressive and angry drunk. I mean completely ape. Not 'Beddoe' angry, but I mean, PROPER angry. I encountered one of these this evening. He came up to the "night box", typed in speech marks because there is no such thing at our establishment, so I showed him round. I could hear him shouting expletives as he walked in through the main door and instantly started shouting something. I instantly stepped back but he kept on coming. "Give me 20 f****** Mayfairs, or your head is gonna get f****** kicked in, get it?!" My opening thought was, "Why are the Police never here when you need them?" but I suddenly thought I'd better stop daydreaming in fear of ending up decapitated. I gave him 20 Mayfairs and he literally chucked a £5 note and a 50p coin at my face.The coin hurt, as it hit me on the forehead. But there's more.

You see, being a petrol garage, things are ultimately a little more expensive. 20 Mayfair, usually around the £5.50 mark in most places, cost £5.77 here. Therefore, rather reluctantly, I had to ask the guy, in my calmest voice possible that he hadn't paid enough. "What the f*** did you say?? You being a cheeky c***?!" He then chucked another 50p at my nose, saying, "Keep the change you f****** p****, looks like you need it!"

I didn't have time to have a shave before I left for work... Doesn't make me a tramp, sir! (My thoughts, not my words. If they were my words, I would be typing this from beyond the grave!)

Obviously, at this point, my co-worker, the Capable One, was on her break so I had no back up when I needed it most. It was extraordinary. I had never enocountered such a rude person in my life! I was pleased to quickly get it out of my head and put it down to experience and get on with the work in hand.

The Goddess of All Evil was once again the manager in the morning, and once again, we were both in the firing line for some needless criticism and criticism that clearly wasn't deserved. I mean, how are you supposed to stop someone driving off without paying? What do you want us to do exactly? Grab our Hi-Vi's and run after them? Ridiculous woman and a poor excuse for a manager. And to add good news on to good news, The Wall has apparently dislocated his knee. If he turns up tomorrow, which I'm hoping he doesn't, then he won't be able to do anything except sit behind a till, leaving me to do all the back-breaking work. Great. He might be useless, but at least he takes the work from my hands and makes a crap job of it himself.

So generally, just rubbish. 3 nights to go before I get a bit of freedom, but even then I'm struggling for things to do. My life is generally going to be empty until next Summer. Great. Just great.

I need some JD.

Ciao x


P.S. Just a word of warning to anyone with a blog. Yes, you. I'd recommend not putting your inner most feelings about other people for the world to see. It'll end up coming back to haunt you. Trust me!