I am expert at putting my foot in it. Many times, I have accidentally come out with "Classified Information", not intended for anyone else, because I can't help myself. I hate keeping secrets and although I appreciate that the person who has entrusted me with their inner-most thoughts, they must also appreciate it would be incredibly difficult for that person to tell no one...
Maybe, it's me that is wrong this time.
With most of these things, it is probably something I should never have even got involved in. But the human brain has a nack of wanting to be involved and the adrenaline involved with being nosey into someone else's private life, so you can gossip and speculate over what's really happening. Very few people can say that they never want to get involved, but maybe I just want to be involved a little too much... I do appreciate that.
It wasn't even a serious blip I made this evening.. Certainly accidental. Just the person who it was against didn't take the news very well. News travels like wildfire it seems... But it is things like this that triggers the depression in me. I feel like I have lost trust in someone, and therefore their friendship, and during prolonged periods of my life, such as the one I'm going through at the moment, friendship is pretty much the only thing I need.
Without it, I wouldn't exist anymore.
And, despite just not getting involved any further in this secret discussion that you have no idea what it's about, I am compelled to stay awake to make sure I haven't caused more damage than I had anticipated, and seeing as it's already 01:15... I have another tiresome Sunday coming. Last weekend, I managed 2 games on 2 hours sleep remember, so I have longer than that tonight... Big games tomorrow though. 1st vs 2nd. Renhold again. Always the biggest game in the league calendar, always a game played with increased aggression and passion, I need to be on my game, 100%. Following that, an Under-18 game to officiate on. And I have been pre-warned that both teams get stuck in and there has been, "previous history", between the two. Great. My 2nd game back and I get 2 teams who would rather kill each other than score goals...
The only plus side I can take from today is the 3 fun hours I spent watching Hot Fuzz with Ellie and the £80 I won on the EuroMillions. That's next week's trip paid for!!
But, such a large dampener on the day now.. Almost an extinguisher. Good times are overcome by bad, it seems. Story of my adulthood.
Cya x
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