Losing Enthusiasm

I did mention briefly in the last post how, after much anticipation and excitement for the past 3-4 months about the up coming cricket season, that I'm not as excited as I should be about Sunday. I think I know what it is.

Last season, I was working. Work was so bad, that cricket seemed like the only escape from work and therefore it was worth looking forward to. Now? I have nothing. Nothing to reflect off, and nothing to work off, leaving cricket to be the average past-time for the week. This, plus the gaping fact that, despite it being the first week of a highly anticipated season, we are left struggling to make 11, which leaves me with the nagging thought in the back of my mind, that cricket at Bedford may disintegrate into nothingness. There are other options, mainly being Southill, but I have my reasons for not going there either. I have never liked batting at Southill. I can't work out what it is, I just don't. I am also fairly certain I wouldn't get that good a game there either. I like opening the batting, not coming in with 6 overs left, and expected to give it a slog... It's noy my style.

(Ok Billie, you can wake up from your coma now!)

It's not just cricket I'm losing enthusiasm for either. I lost enthusiasm for playing football months ago, (despite that now being finished), and I STILL can't work out whether continuing to referee the game is doing more good than bad for me at the moment. I can't help but think this stage of abandonment and pure and utter laziness is ruining me as a person. Even I, hard as it may be to imagine, am getting fed up with waking up in the middle of the afternoon, and literally doing nothing with my days. This, matched with the probable shocked look on my face as I looked at my bank balance earlier, means I need to try harder on the job front. Will I do anything about it? That's a different question altogether.

Only a 'lil post today. Just to vent my frustrations slightly. I'm awake at 12 tomorrow for a "Get Together", which is frankly early morning for me these days. I didn't make it last time, so I really should go to this one. Time to create a storm I think.