1. Gyms: Seriously people. Seriously. Why do people pay £35 per month, (or more), to use ridiculously shaped machines that make you perform silly actions and generally, make you look like an idiot. Why? What is the attraction to spending hours in a room where there is no one to talk to about normal subjects, wasting away your life pumping away on a rowing machine that goes nowhere. Maybe it's the professional help that people get? But, even so, these "professionals" turn up with a name like Brad, in a t-shirt 3 sizes too small for them, making them look like the next Hulk, and give you exercises that you will never ever need to repeat in any life situation. It's almost like the 'Reversing Round a Corner' manouevre whilst learning how to drive. Who uses that in real life?! I can see why people like to keep fit and healthy, but surely there are cheaper and less mind-destroying ways to do it?
2. Camping: I know. I know. I know EXACTLY what you're all thinking, but bear in mind I bullshitted my way into that job without thinking what I would actually have to be doing. I spoke a load of crap to get a job that PAID MONEY, and then realised I had made the most stupid mistake that mankind has to offer. I despise camping, and anyone who enjoys it. Where is the fun in pitching up a tent in gale force conditions and driving rain, whilst being as cold as if you were somewhere within the Arctic Circle, arguing with the other morons who decided that this trip may be, "fun". After you have created something that may be considered 'homely' in the outer regions of Mongolia, you run out of options of things to do that doesn't involve a toilet or walking many, many miles. Which begs the question, what exactly do you do on a camping trip...? Exactly.
3. Bullshitters: You all know the type. The sort of person who thinks they can show off by claiming they are the next big thing, or they have just bought the new top-of-the-range car or just slept with an Eastern European model, despite having the appearance of a llama that's been turned inside out, themselves. I know a few people like this. They infuriate the hell out of me, yet I don't have the bollocks to tell them to shut the hell up, which I suppose is the reason why they continue! But surely they can't think we believe them? We're not idiots!
4. The Attitudes of the Older Generation: The last few years, young people have had bad press shoved into their faces by the national media, thus creating a bad image that older generations seem to believe. The notion that anyone under the age of 25 is a swearing, binge-drinking bastard with jeans round their ankles and of course it's completely untrue. I walked through town a few days back, casually walking around. Dressed normally, not speaking "chav" to my friend, and seemingly not holding any can of Fosters or, low and behold, a bottle of Relentless, so why were we being avoided like the plague? Seriously! You're supposed to be the responsible adults, so stop being stupid.
5. Geoffrey Boycott: Strange one this, because before today I didn't mind the guy. But I was watching the cricket highlights earlier, in which England seemed to grab back some of the initiative from Sri Lanka, but all I could hear was this stupid, complaining Yorkshireman repeating the same line of commentary for 45 minutes, (before I left for a curry!) I have only just worked out that he infuriates me! "Corridor of Uncertente, bowl at the 4th stoomp, ba' proply, that's absolute roobish", just shut up, you ridiculous man. Bring Bumble to free-to-air TV, now that's commentary!
6. Political Correctness: The stupidity of political correctness. The fact that you can't assume that every terrorist is Asian, despite it being obvious. Most of you are reading that thinking, "Ohhh you can't say that", but it's true. Look at every news report involving a terrorist attack or attempted bombing, and all the suspects are Asian, (and sometimes from Luton!) It's fact.
7. Dubstep: I've changed my mind on this particular subject. I've always believed that dubstep should be banned from all clubs, based around the fact you CANNOT dance to dubstep. How can you dance to noise? For that is what it is. Noise. It's called a 'dancefloor' for a reason, not a 'standandlistentonoisefloor'. However, I used to think dubstep was alright to listen to on long car journies, for some reason, but I have now taken the same stance as I do with the clubs. It is just noise, not music. In fact, it shouldn't even be classed as 'noise', but instead 'The Hoff vomiting'. It is exactly what it sounds like.
8. Football Fans: I have started to despise avid football fans recently. Not all, just some. Those ones who gloat when they win and gloat when their rivals lose, but somehow when they lose, things suddenly become "unfair" and of course, their loss is blamed on the referee being useless. It's just petty, grow up. It is the reason why I have stopped being a supporter of top-flight football. Being a Man Utd fan somehow makes you a "glory supporter" despite me supporting them since conception. So now, I can't be bothered. Can't be bothered to deal with the people who haven't grown up enough to deal with their team losing in a gracious fashion.
9. Managers: Just generally, managers. Any job I have had, the main manager has been an absolute prick, which begs the question, do you have to become a knob to be successful? My first manager did anything he could to bag success, even if it meant hurting others along the way, my 2nd manager was a perverted, egotistical moron and my 3rd manager, (albeit only for a brief time), was a manager who wanted everyone else to act like him. He even said to me during my interview, "I love every single day I come to work". Bullshit. Absolute dog turd. NO ONE, loves coming to work every day. Unless you are a professional sportsman, or a celebrity of some kind, not one single person loves going to work. Not one. What a fruitloop! (However, the current manager at BP now, is a legend, so maybe this track record is about to end?)
10: Zane Lowe: You know that Radio 1 DJ? The one that speaks so fast that not a single listener can ascertain what he's actually saying? The one who thinks he is a God for finding new music and playing their track on the radio, even if he does speak all over the beginning and end of it? The one who just has one of those faces you could slap without having a guilty conscience afterwards? Yeah, him.
I'm not really sure what possessed me to write all that, but why not!
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