Where's the Ambition?

As Sister Mitten flew off on the latest leg of her world tour, to explore what are surely the incredible sights of Far East Asia, and a few friends get ready to leave for the messy weekend that is Glastonbury, I can't help but feel a little bit jealous. I know these people have worked hard to earn these opportunities, and I have done anything but, however, I do lament the lack of ambition in me sometimes.

Sister Mitten left for Thailand at around 6am yesterday morning, and has just arrived in Bangkok to a plethora of strange culture and a language she doesn't understand. She intends to spend a considerable amount of time travelling around Thailand aswell as Vietnam and Laos, which is simply incredible, given that I know nothing about Laos worth knowing, and ask the question, "IS there anything worth knowing about Laos?" My sister's ambiton and hunger to see the world is something I have no interest in. The only time I've even been on a plane is a 40-minute flight to Jersey, when I was 9, and I've been on the Eurostar to Paris. That's it. I haven't been abroad otherwise. I don't mind this so much. It doesn't matter that I don't want to travel the globe, as this is not everyone's cup of tea, but I can't think of anything that I want to do. Something out of the ordinary, and interesting. I stick to the status quo, and very occasionally this troubles me.

At work today, from the redundant hours of 5pm-10pm, I saw a few old faces from the Newnham days. Mrs Rush, who was my old P.E teacher and spent a considerable amount of time giving me some serious tennis coaching, came in with a huge basket full of things. I could see the disappointment in her eyes that I had ended up behind a till at a petrol station, and hearing about my sister's exploits and her law degree. However, after I managed to get a word in, I told her I was going to University in Brighton, to do Sports Coaching, she seemed rather pleased!

"You'll love it! Brighton is an awesome place aswell!"

I liked Mrs.Rush. She was firm but fair, and a very good P.E teacher, but I firmly believe that she still takes the credit for me winning the school tennis tournament in Year 7. I won the final, on a Friday afternoon, (I believe I missed double science for the finals), after being coached by her all year! She was cool though.

Another old face from Newnham, was Ms.Swales, who runs the S.E.N department at the school. I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but I spent a fair few months, 1 day a week, volunteering in the S.E.N department back in the day where I thought I wanted to become a Primary school teacher. These were a few months before things started to fall apart at the seams, but she did still recognise me. However, once again, she seemed a bit disappointed at hearing I was not at University, but instead at some crappy BP station, and she had gone before I had a chance to tell her I am going!

This is the thing though. My idea of ambition is gambling upon going to University, whereas that seems like the normal thing to do for a young person these days. My ideas of ambition are anyone else's idea of normality, which leads me to think where this lack of ambition may lead me. Am I going to spend the rest of my life in averageness, or is there going to be a stage in my life where I seriously jump in at the deep end, with both feet? Only time will tell I suppose!

It's difficult to fathom just how much my Sister has achieved since she left school herself. She spent 3 Summers in Camp America, in the time she wasn't getting her Law degree, working her way up to Team Leader, she's travelled to Australia and spent a fair while working Down Under, and now she has gone to a place that she knows little about, where the culture must be extraordinarily out of her comfort zone. I don't know how she does it. Part of me does feel like I need to match her though, and I know that this won't happen. I know it sounds ridiculous.

And here I am, awake in the very early hours, again, waiting for something to come to me. Classic Mitten. I have yet to learn the lesson of life, and seeing as I'm in my 20's now, I don't have long left to learn. University, I believe, however difficult it may be, will be the turning point. I just wish I buck my ideas up enough to achieve something there.