Pot, Kettle, Black

Welcome home! Yeah, I've decided to bring back the blog of all blogs, (I'd like to say by popular demand, but I'd be lying, despite some calls!), just because I miss the creative writing side of it all, and generally having something to complain to when my Twitter feed can take no more complaining. A fair bit has changed since my last post, which sounded like the end of the road. However, for the 3rd time, I'm prepared to inundate you all with the incandescent moans and groans from the Life of Mitten!

So, what has changed I hear you ask? The main thing has been the generally successful beginning to my program of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, (or for those of you who are a fan of abbreviations - CBT). I've had 2 sessions so far, with the main focus being concentration on tasks and sleep. Ironically, I find myself typing this at the much more familiar time of 12:50am, despite the plan of going to sleep at 11pm. My therapist, Gemma, said I must try and go to sleep at 11pm and wake up at 9am, every single day. I've managed this twice in 8 days, which is a start I suppose... No? I'm not so worried about going to sleep late if I can wake up early, which has been more of a success than I had first imagined. Waking up the right side of midday has been fairly difficult, as silly as it sounds, but I've been quite good at it. My main tactic in doing so, is physically falling out of bed, bruising my own body on the assortment of plugs that lie on the floor. The chance of an electric shock is enough to make me aware and move on to the next task, thus getting me out of bed, and up and about. I can only presume I cannot carry that on for my whole life, but it will do for now!

Once I wake up enough to become a human being and not one of the zombies out of Shaun of the Dead, I find I have enough time to respectably go about doing what I need to do. Trying to fill up time with tasks I don't even need to do. I find myself going for a walk round Mowsbury Park on most days, as Gemma said that simple acts like walking can improve the mood ten-fold. The job hunt has stepped up pace in the last couple of days aswell, and I even received a rejection e-mail today, which is phenomonal progress! The main 2 things I have noticed though is the state of mind in my own head. I have felt much more content with my own life in the past few weeks, accepting that I am not bound for special things, and learning that this is perfectly alright. Learning that a lot of other people are going through what I'm going through and that my life really isn't that bad. Whether or not there will be a post on here in a few days, saying that isn't the case, I just don't know. Clearly there will be ups and downs, and the road is long, but at the moment, things are just fine and dandy.

I do also have something to concentrate on for the future, as I have been coaxed into securing a place to referee in the Dana Cup 2012, which is an international football tournament hosted in Hjorring, Denmark. Something else I have learnt is that throwing yourself into things can make you feel better, so with a couple of days thinking time, I applied to be part of the tournament and even booked a flight to Aarhus in Denmark with Ryanair, (avoiding Mr.O'Leary's horrific surplus charges). July 21st to July 29th, I will be out of the country, when the rest of the world's eyes will be on it. It is the year of the Olympics remember!

My Christmas and New Year were particularly average. Better than 2010 at least, when I spent most of it couped up in the hole that is BP, which is now a place I realise did more harm than good to me. Working through the night not only screwed up my sleeping habits, but also screwed up my mind and my behaviour, and is DEFINITELY a place I shall be avoiding from now on. (Don't start, I know I said that in January '11...!) The only blip on an otherwise happy festive period came on Boxing Day, when I really, really didn't want to leave my bed. The whole family were due to go down to Portsmouth to see a panto that my cousin was performing in alongside various ex-soap stars. Does anyone remember Maxine Peacock from Corrie? Killed by Richard Hillman? No? Me neither. But she was in it. I had visibly upset the family in not wanting to go, so physically forced myself down the stairs, into the car, and endured a day of panto, that I was too old for. In fairness, it wasn't so bad once we got there. Proof then, that getting up and about really does help.

And that is the message I need to keep telling myself. Even on days that seem particularly difficult or troublesome, I've got to force myself to get going, for my own good.

As for refereeing, things haven't really changed. I've got a busy January ahead, with games on every Sunday and all Saturdays bar one plus a couple of midweek bonuses thrown in for good measure. Keeps me active and provides me with much needed monies.

I can't think of much else I want to say to be honest. Despite me not being the sort of person for the old, "New Year, New Start" rubbish, maybe I can make this an exception? I suppose this is the start of my 3rd stint as a blogger, and I'm pleased to say, it's nice to be back!