I got drunk again at the weekend. It started off pretty quietly, yet ended quite well, but the overriding thought from Saturday night lies in the very real thoughts of everyday life. Sorry to harp on about this yet again, (read on and you'll find interesting views), but on 5th June, the Gay Marriage Bill passed its 3rd reading in the House of Lords. With only a couple of inevitable stages to go before it becomes law in the UK, I have to admit, I have a couple of concerns. Not with the principle of equal marriage itself, but instead the conduct of homosexuals in general.
The thought behind the Same Sex Marriage Bill is one of equality. Its the idea of homosexuals being equal to heterosexuals, which is of course right and proper, but whilst out and about on my almost weekly Saturday night jaunts, I did wonder whether this was true or not. Whilst having a few drinks in my local LGBT bar, The Barley Mow, there were a few things that jumped out at me that suggested the opposite of what I, and the LGBT community, desired. Are we really like heterosexuals?
There are many horrible things happening in the world regarding LGBT equality. Only recently, Russia introduced a "Section 28" style law that banned "gay propaganda" and similar things in the country, and homosexuality remains illegal in many others. This is of course abhorrent, and I'm both proud and privileged that the UK possesses the opposite attitude. But the LGBT community is almost demanding equality in this country, yet, at least on the "gay scene", we're completely different. I don't quite know how to put this, but when it comes to Saturday night at least, the difference between an LGBT bar and any other bar or club is absolutely STAGGERING. I hesitate to use the word "normal", but I'll use it to differentiate. In a "normal" bar, you get guys trying it on with girls, as is usual, but it isn't so easy. Many guys have to work hard for it, yet in any gay bar I've been in, you don't have to do anything. One gay guy will walk up to another, and literally within 10 seconds, they've disappeared down each others throats. I'm skirting around the issue. What I'm trying to say, is that gay guys are much easier. I use the word "easier" in the context of, "easier to pick up". They're more promiscuous, more flirty and, dare I say it, easier to get into bed.
I'm sorry, but its true.
I've waited for 7 months to find a time where I can comfortably say that the stereotype is wrong, but I still haven't found that time. When you see gay guys getting picked up so easily, you have to wonder whether there are gay people out there who have it in them to stay faithful, (example later). That's a horrible thing to say, (and obviously, there are), but I've been going to gay bars for a long time now, and they have ALWAYS been full to the brim with guys "trying it on". I hadn't been in the Barley Mow for 10 minutes on Saturday before a guy began to come on to me, and I was thinking, "I haven't been here for very long." ... And before you start thinking anything, no I didn't.
I don't wish to boast, but this isn't a one off. Every time I go to any gay bar, there is always someone who tries it on. You don't see that in "normal" clubs. There's always a few people who are looking, but when most of the people in there are looking around for someone else, you do have to question why people go out... I've always gone out for a fun night of socialising, drinking and dancing. It seems, from my experience, that a lot of the gay community go out to look for a mate for the evening.
I don't quite know how to explain it without sounding bad. I'm going to go into abstract mode, and ask you to use your imagination. When I was "straight", (i.e. I hadn't come out yet), I hardly got any attention from girls. There were a few, sure, but even when people thought I was straight, no one was interested really. Now I'm openly gay, and going to gay bars, the amount of guys around are just ... crazy. It's madness.
Gay guys are promiscuous. There is no doubting that. There is a stereotype going around that gay guys are "easy". I'm programmed to challenge stereotypes. But... I'm sorry, I find it hard to deny this one. I've taken my time to come to the conclusion, but its certainly not false. Not EVERY gay guy is easy, obviously, but there are so many out there who are only looking for one thing. It's extremely annoying. And it certainly damages the fight for equality. Most definitely. A few more reasons why gay people are much more promiscuous:
1) In evolutionary terms, men are naturally more promiscuous. It has always been the case that the men have been the "hunters". When two men are hunting each other, there is almost a mutual agreement there already. You don't have to work for it.
2) The LGBT community have spent their entire lives being judged, so therefore they don't worry about being judged further for appearing "easy".
3) From my personal experience, LGBT bars and clubs have a much more sexual vibe to them. I'm fairly sure the majority of people would agree. For instance, in my local LGBT bar they have "cum shots", "Jake's Juice" and a few other drinks specifically named for that purpose. They don't have that elsewhere. I mean, they even hosted a "Jonny Winters" night there...
(For those of you who don't know what Jonny Winters is, think Ann Summers for gays...)
Homosexuals look for equality, but they do not help themselves. This is a fact.
The most frightening example, (the example that has prompted me to write this), comes from Saturday night and a man in his 40s. No, he wasn't trying it on with me, but he was with someone else and that's a pretty normal sight in this small yet perfectly friendly establishment. I wasn't paying much attention, but some time later, I was standing next to him at the bar and noticed a ring on his finger. Being drunk at the time, I asked him what it was and he said it was a wedding ring. I then asked him one question:
"So is that your husband over there waiting for you is it? What's his name?"
It was a perfectly innocent question, as I presumed that chap was his husband, but it wasn't.
"That's not him", he said before turning away to resume his hunting of the waiting middle-aged man on the other side of the room. I was staggered. This man was wearing his wedding ring out in town and then just openly flirting and chasing another man. Looking around, I saw a lot of other people simply trying to hook up with others. The majority of the people in there were not enjoying themselves, but simply on the hunt for someone to go home with.
It was pretty simple to make a comparison, as we left that place to go to the "straight" Saturday night jaunt, Hi-Fi. It was full of people who were just dancing and enjoying themselves, with very little of this "hunting" going on... Unless you count the chap I met outside who was trying to chat up a girl and tried using me as his mate, "Craig". Yeah, I'm not called Craig...
I don't think I've written this at all well, but I'll leave it as it is anyway. Of course, there are many, many LGBT people out there who are faithful, and don't go chasing anyone with a pulse. But the impression I've got after being out in the open for 7 months, is that the gay way of life is most certainly different.
And "easier".
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