I've Not Enough Patience To Be Patient

It's hard when he's just standing there stumped at what to do when I could probably do it in a split second and get on with the job.

Tonight was difficult. My ambition once, (it does feel like a long time ago...), was to become a teacher but despite having patience to a degree the last few years, I feel I have lost some of that because I had very little this evening, teaching the new guy. This was only his 2nd shift, so his knowledge of BP procedure was obviously still very scratchy and obviously you cannot expect him to be perfect from the off, however, it took a few attempts at clearly explaining what to do and when he still didn't do it right, part of me wanted to rip the head off the next drunk customer and throw it at him. I never imagined it to be that frustrating. But it was. By 5.30am, I was physically and mentally exhausted, having not got a huge amount of sleep on Friday, but we still had the weekend papers to do.. Notorious for their large amount of supplements, we both struggled through them. I usually leave the task for The Wall, (I don't know how he manages it with his small amount of intellect, charisma and strength), so my knowledge of 'Which Supplement Goes With Which Paper?' isn't great. However, he pretty much stood and watched as I filled papers and hauled them around and put them out for tired customers to purchase without consideration of how much work had been put in to provide them..

I know it's not his fault. I was new once, but I can't help feeling it's incredibly frustrating and annoying. There were 3 of us tonight, but this evening it will just be us 2 and also on a Saturday night, so I cannot imagine it being massively enjoyable.. I have worked out a sort-of schedule for the night however, even if he doesn't like it, so I'm hoping it will pass without too much trouble. This time tomorrow, I may be getting a couple of hours kip before our first pre-season football match followed by a cricket match, (Monsoon permitting of course!), or I may be going out to buy 7 packets of Pro Plus. I can't be going through that again.. But I can't say no.

For the first time this season then, I am hoping for the rain to call off cricket. "Surely not!", I hear you say, but it's true. I need rest ahead of what is going to be a tough night at the BP garage. The pitch was incredibly borderline at 8pm yesterday and I know there were a couple of showers last night so hopefully sense will prevail and I can sleep. If not, then I will struggle on and hopefully hit a few runs. But for once, I would like to stay in bed and let the cricket gear gather a slight bit of dust. I'm going to need the sleep I reckon.

Also, before I go, I nearly made a life-changing decision last night. I decided I was going to go for it and become a Police Officer, but now I'm feeling the same-old 'What if' and I'm back to the old dilemma. I still have some time to decide but if I am going for the life-changing career, I feel that is where I belong. University is not an option for me anymore. Cuts are going to be massive and not many universities will offer places for people with grades of CEE. Never mind.

Oh, I get paid tomorrow. Most of it going to the parents I reckon. Again ... never mind. Like I said yesterday and the day before, I don't care. It's happened, I will get over it.

For now, I must get some rest. In case, later does happen. Whatever the result, the next couple of days are going to be a mental and physical challenge and, come Monday morning, I'll be content to be alive and not have a pair of scissors sticking out of my heart. It's that sorta life!

Ciao x