Losing Someone

83. She had a good innings. But ultimately she got bowled through the gate by one that kept a little low and she won't go on to get her maiden ton..

Yeah, my Grandmother died this afternoon. It's all sad around here at the moment and after getting back from football and walking through the front door to find Mum in pieces was probably the worst moment of my life. It didn't even need an explanation, we all knew what had happened.

Bear in mind this is a whole new experience for me. I don't know what it feels like to lose someone so close. The last time it happened, I was a measly 3 years old when my Grandad died and apparently I was too young to go to the funeral, so instead spent the time giving the neighbours a hindrance. I don't really know how to react. Not really sure what to do.

It's like that story that people talk about when someone recieves the news that they have Cancer. 85% of people make a joke about it. I don't find this funny in the slightest, but part of me just thinks, "there isn't anything I can do and she's happier now". She is happier after all. She was never truly happy after my Grandad died and it was almost as if she wanted to up there and join him.. Now, they're enjoying a couple of G&T's while Grandad smokes one of his cigars. They're both happy now.

I was too young to appreciate the sadness of the situation back then. The only thing I remember about that day was seeing Mum crying in her bed, and it's really the same memory that will be left with me after today's events. I find it more upsetting to see my Mum crying more than anything else..

Now the formalities must begin. It's going to be a tough couple of weeks in this household that's for sure. Certainly a new experience for me..