The Meaning of Selfish

I do seem to be writing a lot of these at the moment, and not necessarily about myself, but so many events happen, or occurrences take place that make me annoyed. Sometimes, it doesn't take much, and I'll be the first to say it, but I cannot fathom what goes through people's heads sometimes. I pride myself on being polite. I will rarely retort to insult, choosing to try and calm the situation down and reply curteously and with good manners. I will always hold doors open for people and let ladies on the bus first because I consider myself a gentleman. I will never get wound up with being in a queue because they do occur and I am not in a rush to escape. Either people have grown incredibly impatient with waiting or people have a list of 30 things they need to do before 4pm, thus waiting 5 minutes is considered a time-wasting exercise. Politeness is the only aspect of the 1960s that I think should still exist in today's society, but I simply cannot believe the amount of people who take no concern for anything else but their own wellbeing. I haven't done so much today, but I can create a long list of examples that I've seen first-hand or heard about where people have completely wiped the ability to be well-mannered from their psyche.

I was waiting for the bus earlier. I was just recovering from making a fool of myself as I slipped over on the vast ice patches that have formed on the pavement overnight, when a bus came along. There were 3 or 4 of us stood waiting, including two very cold and fragile-looking pensioners. Myself and the other student standing and waiting, stood back to allow them to get on first, and get their seats, when a woman, wearing a full pink tracksuit and music blaring out of her phone quite literally barged her way to the front of the queue, causing the old lady to gasp in fear, before walking straight on to the bus and sat down in the single seat at the front that could, and probably should have been taken by the old lady. It's simple enough isn't it? Why have people become so inconsiderate to others? Why couldn't she wait? It's not the London Underground. The bus wasn't going to drive off, leaving her at the bus stop, so why did she have to barge her way to the front? It quite literally makes no sense. If I wasn't so afraid of confrontation or making a scene, I'd have given her a piece of my mind, but instead chose to scorn at her from the comfort of my own, very polite brain.

Once I got into town, obviously waiting towards the rear of the bus whilst everyone else careered to the front, desperate to get off and complete their obviously long list of errands, I walked to the bank to do a couple of things. There wasn't a very long queue, probably about 4 or 5 people of which I joined the back of, and there were 2 clerks manning the desks, dealing with other customers. Another "gentleman", (I use the term loosely), joined the back of the queue, and quite literally after 30 seconds of waiting, he exclaimed to the shock of the staff, "Jesus Christ! I haven't got all day, hurry the hell up!"

He'd been waiting for 30 seconds. 30 blasted seconds, and he couldn't help but shout out. Looking past the fact that it is an example of horrible impatience, I'm not entirely sure what he was looking to gain from it. Was he expecting the staff to suddenly stop serving the person in front of them and invite him to the front of the queue to be served? Maybe he was expecting an apology for being made to wait an "abnormal length of time"? Or, and I'm sure this is the most likely, maybe he's just a moron. Maybe he has the mental incapacity to be patient, and instead he chose to be rude and pointlessly insolent.

This is turning into a bit of a rant isn't it? I apologise. But it was one of life's bug bears and sometimes it drives me up the wall. The day-to-day life of work, socialising and queue-waiting would be so much more pleasant if people were just patient. Just breathe, and relax. (Something I should learn to do when in full flow!)

But, seriously. I've said this before, and I'll say it again. I'm fairly convinced some people have starting mating with vegatables. And I'm also pretty sure a carrot is more enduring than some people.

Something else that slightly annoyed me this afternoon were a series of comments on Twitter. Surprise, surprise. It was based around a much more sensitive topic than my ramblings on patience and I made the mistake of instigating a discussion on Facebook, about trains and suicide. Now. I know, it's a grisly subject, but once again I am drawn into asking what on Earth happened to the patience of some people. I put a status on Facebook, bemoaning the lack of feeling about it. It's quite incredible, that knowing a human being, very similar to any one of us, has exprienced such levels of despair that they choose to take their own life, that some people instead complain that they have had the "selfishness" to disrupt their precious day. It is important to note however, that there are 2 different meanings to the word "selfish" here. One that I can sympathise with, and one that I have no time for whatsoever.

I can sympathise with the use of the word "selfish" in terms of the impact of the driver, witnesses and the persons who have to deal with the aftermath of such a traumatic event. For a train driver to see a person walk out in front of you, knowing you can do nothing to stop it, must be absolutely terrifying. For the people who have to recover the body, knowing what you're going to see, must be dreadful. This is before the impact on the victim's family and friends, but that's a whole different discussion. I can sympathise with that. Having been someone who has experienced similar levels of despair, I KNOW what the thoughts of an irrational monster can feel like. In no way shape or form, are they thinking about disrupting someone's journey. Selfish? No, I don't think so. If passengers can't sympathise for someone who is feeling the worst of all emotions, using up 30 minutes of their time in the process, then they need to re-think their priorities. Irrationality is very, very dangerous. I KNOW this. Are they thinking about the impacts on the driver who hits you or the impact of the people who witness such an event? I can tell you now, they aren't. Is that selfish? You could argue that it is. I can understand that. But it isn't the victim's fault. Having been someone close to those feelings, I can tell you as a fact, that there is nothing worse. Very few things are worse than that monster. For people who can't understand what that feels like, they will never see past the fact that someone else's life has been stopped for 30 minutes because someone else's has ended forever.

To see a tweet this afternoon then claiming that this poor person has ruined an evening because they caused them to miss a new episode of The Simpsons makes me so angry. So, so angry. Which goes back to my original point.

Why can't people just stop and think about what they are doing? It might seem like a pointless little comment or an action that no one should care about, but you cannot preempt the thoughts of others. Just because it means nothing to you, it might be something that affects their whole day. Just take a step back and realise what you are about to say. It could make a huge difference.