... Is how I can describe the face of my Father today.. He was in an especially bad mood for some reason or another that I am not fully aware of. Me, being the pessimistic one, does think it's my fault. I mean, reversing into his car at 9pm was never going to improve his mood but he was extremely cold with me all day before that.
Maybe it's me not getting a job quickly enough but I can't help not getting a job so soon! He can be incredibly demanding at times and puts a lot of pressure on me as a son. Whether intentional or not I am not so sure - but thats just what it feels like.. He has always been great, I am not trying to make him sound like the Father from Hell because he is anything but, but he was brought up with discipline and I think he expects the same from his son..
Moving on, I did indeed get up at stupid o'clock yet again and it generally wasn't a very productive day, yet I am strangely confident of my job applications.. I will not disclose what type of jobs they are, (don't know why but it makes it fun!), but I have a sneaky feeling something good is going to happen and that really isn't my usual way of thinking! We'll see...
Once again however I would like to express how great the old buddies have been lately. Always offering an ear to listen to me droning is comforting and I would like to thank them for this. I am helping out in an interesting art project with a good friend which will be interesting to see how it unfolds and life doesn't look that bad....
I was just thinking.. the anti-depressants haven't been touched in a few days and I feel fine. I maintain it was that place of work that made me depressed but the depression is hanging on in there for the time being... what a strange place that brain of mine must be...
Ciao x
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