Route to Potential

Things haven't changed in the past few days. I'm still completely clueless as to where to go with my life, although I have figured out I would like something that's mostly "on your feet" and active in contrast to sitting behind a desk. That's about as far as I've got with trying to work out where I want go, but I fear I may end up being way too picky with the career path I want to go down, especially in these difficult times. The words of Jo the Career Advisor are still ringing in my head..

.."It's incredibly difficult being a young person in this day and age."

I've been repeatedly told that my options are endless, with the potential for all to see, but how come I can't see that potential? And how come I can't see a single door to go through, let alone an "endless" amount? Well, I know why I can't see my own potential. A lack of self-confidence and a negative demeanour do not help matters, but hopefully, heading into what will undoubtedly be a long and formidable winter, I can work on trying to find positives out of situations. A silver lining in every cloud, and a bright side to difficult situations. I have filled my music playlist with songs I find inspirational and songs that have a deliberate cause to lift spirits, deleting anything that could diminish any good mood that comes my way.

As for University, that is all in the past. I moved out on Saturday, without seeing anyone as it was still early in the morning, (for a student). As soon as I got home, I deleted all of my university contacts, on phone, facebook and e-mail and put it behind me. It shall be an experience in life's tapestry, and one that I shall not consider going near again. I have received a fair few jokes in light of my failed experience, but compared to the "banter" I received there, this was all fairly light-hearted.

And yesterday, was actually a good day. I was out on the football pitch once more, refereeing my 2nd game of the season, and I have to say, I'm not sure I have enjoyed refereeing a football match as much as I did yesterday. The 80 minutes, (as they were only Under 16), flew by and the match was an absolute cracker. They were talented footballers, and some of the challenges going in were worthy of a Tyne-Wear derby. I can't remember a single mistake I made, giving 3 cautions along the way, and a fantastic advantage for one of the 8 goals that went in. Crawley were 3-0 up at half time, only for Kempston to fight back to win 5-3. Tensions were high, and the pace of the game, extraordinary, but I feel I did very well. Unfortunately, I don't have a game this weekend, (yet), but hopefully that will change.

As for the rest of the week... I don't know I'm afraid. I have my 2nd NextStep meeting on Thursday, but I genuinely don't think they will be much help. I know this decision of where to go with my career has to come from me, and I have to decide. All these meetings are just guidance and support, but the ultimate decision lies with me and me alone.

And I haven't got a clue.