I have a problem with arrogance. People who walk around parading their apparent greatness and forcing it on to others, proclaiming that they are the greatest. It grinds my gears. There is a difference between confidence and arrogance. Confidence is a good thing, whereas arrogance is plain annoying. Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in nothing creates arrogance.
My definition of arrogance probably differs from others though. Especially lately, I have been hearing people saying "my" or "me" in a way that makes it sound as if the subject they are talking about is their possession. An example I hear everyday is the expression, "I have 30 staff working for me". Now, I don't like that. A manager in the place of work employs staff, but to say "me" in such a possessive way is something that is very frustrating to hear. Now I am the manager of our wee little post office branch, I could walk around saying "my" branch. But I don't. I say "our" branch. Because there are other people that work there apart from me. We work as a team to gain results, and I just happen to head the team up. There are only a few of us, but it makes no difference whether it is a team of 3 or a team of 300 in my eyes. We are still a team. We still work together and help each other out, for we are together. Why should I walk around proclaiming it's mine?
Another example is on the cricket pitch. I am the captain of 2 sides, and everyday (in the Summer), I hear captains asking players, "can you play for ME on Saturday?" That's not right in my book. These players are not playing for the captain, they are playing for the team. I tend to ask players if they "want to play for us" at the weekend, instead of "playing for me". After all, they are not playing for ME to get promoted. They are playing for US to get promoted. In much the same way as the first example, I just happen to lead the team, so why should I say it's mine? It's not my team. It's our team.
Now, you may be thinking, "What is he talking about?", but this is something that winds me up something chronic. It goes back to the point about confidence and arrogance. I just wonder if people merely walk around claiming that people are theirs, just to look better and more powerful. I believe that people use these sorts of expressions to push their status on to others. Maybe people do that to improve their own self-esteem, but instead it turns to arrogance? I do wonder if I should start imposing myself a bit more by starting to use these expressions of possession, but I couldn't keep it up without feeling like I'm turning into a stereotypical being of management.
Talking of management, I don't feel like a manager at work. I'm basically doing the same job I did before but with a different title, (and a higher pay bracket). This is a good thing I suppose, as I feel under less pressure than if I had to learn more responsibilites on top of the shed load I already have. Soaking up more procedures into the already saturated sponge that is my brain, (some of which I had to delve deep to remember on a messy Friday afternoon), wouldn't be a good thing given I am still coming to terms with this change of lifestyle. The original plan of waking up at 8am EVERY DAY hasn't quite worked out, but I'm certainly doing a lot better than I was. And I haven't had any alcohol whatsoever despite increasing temptation and peer pressure. It'll take time.
My Coming Out Story also got published this week. Yes, I know I technically wrote it before Christmas, but I donated it to a website that was created to collate "coming out" stories that can provide help, guidance and inspiration to others going on that journey and I've already received messages from strangers who read it and felt inspired to come out themselves, or failing that, felt more comfortable about being gay. This was my intention. To help others. I am not the sort of person to merely do something so big just for the praise. Obviously it's a bonus, but primarily I just want to help.
As I said earlier, I am not the person who thinks, "me me me" all the time. It's us. Whether at work, playing sport or in life in general, we are a team. And we should help each other.
For those people interested, my Coming Out Story (published by RUComing Out): http://www.rucomingout.com/tom21.html#.UP_T6GBw-mQ.twitter
Follow @RUComingOut on Twitter! It's an amazing site!
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