Homosexual. How does that word make you feel? Awkward? If so, why? The vast majority of the UK population in 2013 accept that being gay is perfectly normal. This is a far cry from 40 years ago, when being a homosexual was considered a mental disorder, but I still get the impression that some "straight folk", (I figure that is the best way of classing some heteros of the world!), still act a little shocked at the whole idea of homosexuality. Not in an offensive or disrespectful manner. Just... Almost as if being heterosexual is the default setting - and anything other than that means you've been tampered with slightly. Does that make sense?
What gets to me most is the apparent lack of education and simple knowledge about the matter. I've recently seen comments and tweets, phrases and even whole articles that suggest that homosexuality is a choice, of which it is not. I struggle to work out why people would choose to spend years in a perpetual state of fear over what is a part of their makeup. I do wonder that if it were really a choice, how many people would choose to go down the path of possible social exclusion, immense difficulty and torture. Judging by the amount of people who were born LGBT, (apparently its 1 in 10 people), I fail to see the logic behind that statement. One in ten people cannot be so doltish as to choose a period of life that leads them to possible sadness. Just with other social inequalities, the general public should really educate themselves on potential sensitive matters before commenting.
I haven't received a single word of negativity since coming out a few months ago though. It's all been, "Huge respect for being so brave" here and, "Congratulations on discovering yourself" there. It's nice to receive the compliments of course, but I am still struggling to work out the reason why people feel the need to come out? Walking into a bar, hand in hand with another gentleman when you haven't revealed your sexuality is the social equivalent of riding into work on the back of an elephant. For some social reason, the shock will be resounding, when on paper, and in a country that has claimed to accept the notion of homosexuality, it really shouldn't be. Even I don't know why I came out so publicly myself. I know that the fear of others reactions is the overriding emotion to any person who is still "in the closet", (Even these phrases associated with homosexuality make me feel slightly uneasy...), but declaring my sexuality in such a public way was almost the final step of the journey for me. It felt right. Up until a few years ago, we only ever heard negativity regarding the whole stigma of homosexuality, which certainly didn't help me as a young man. Now, the positive vibes that eminate from a figure of stardom 'coming out' can only send a fellow struggler further up the chain of confidence. This is a good thing.
We now have celebrities coming out in vast quantities, having realised that the reaction will most probably be positive and it's bound to inspire people. Ricky Martin. Cricketer, Steven Davies. Olympic gold-medallist Nicola Adams. Gareth Thomas. These people certainly inspired me. This poses the question, "Do celebrities have a responsibility to come out to help others?" It's a tricky question... On one hand, a celebrity is still a human being. They have most probably been through the same journey as any LGBT person, faces the same fears of prejudice as anyone else and is sure to wonder how people will react to them. They are not immune to fear because of their status. This discovery is a personal journey, so why should celebrities open it up to the world? On the other hand, people would claim that the acceptance of other celebrities is there and now always will be, so what is stopping them? When there is bound to be no negativity, why stop short of inspiring others who may be in a compromising position? In a nutshell, it doesn't matter. It is the decision of the human being themselves, and no one should be against that.
For, as Jodie Foster recently said in her "I'm coming out, but not really coming out" speech ... "If you'd had to fight for a life that felt honest and real against all odds, then maybe you would value privacy above all else". It's private. It's personal. It's life. The human race has a long way to go before the issue of sexuality becomes a non-issue, but it has certainly started the process. Will there always be those who think it is wrong? Most probably. Unfortunately, there are still people who detest the sight of a black person walking the streets, and I'm afraid the case will be the same when it comes to gay couples. But for those who are happy within ourselves, and have important figures around us who are as equally happy with us - You can't help but feel that battle you fought for years has been won. It's one of the best feelings. But it would be even better when we can walk the streets without that one little thought clinging on to the back of our brains with all the memories of Winters past. When will we be completely accepted?
P.S.
I saw a cracking tweet a couple of weeks back that I thought I would shove on the end of this post:
"I hate having to answer to all these straight rumours. I have nothing against straight people though, some of my best friends are straight."
If we are all equal, where are their coming out stories?
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2 comments:
Hi :) Very interesting points made here, and I agree with a lot of them. Although I never formally 'came out' to anyone, I still feel apprehensive when someone I've just met says "so do you have a boyfriend?" and I have to correct them. I don't know why, but as you said, there's that little worry in the back of my mind. However although a growing number of people in this country are accepting homosexuality as normal, we are definitely not yet showing an unconditional acceptance as a nation. Our prime minister recently spoke out about his support of legislation allowing same-sex marriage, but he is still opposed by most of his party and a number of other MPs. The MP for North Herts, Oliver Heald, responded to an email of mine by outwardly stating that he would not be supporting such legislation because he believes marriage is only possible between a man and a woman. To know that the man who is as-good-as representing me in the house of commons is so against my right to marry whomsoever I wish frankly makes me think that we have a long way to go. Same sex couples are legally allowed to adopt in the UK, but 1 in 3 people do not think that gay couples can parent as well as heterosexual couples(jan 2011), which again shows just how illogical some people can be concerning gay couples. I agree that education is key in this area. We need to be teaching young people that varying sexuality isn't unnatural, and that discrimination is wrong on all levels. I for one don't recall any significant reference to homosexual relationships at all during school, and I think that just leads to ignorance-fuelled hatred, or simply indifference on the matter of gay rights. Many straight people simply don't care about gay rights issues because it doesn't affect them, therefore they don't take the time to learn about it and as a result little is done to improve it.
Well said :) I completely agree, the vast majority of straight people feel that the issue is of no concern to them, so will not take the time to educate themselves on it, and then absorb the social stereotypes that still exist. Unfortunately, my MP holds the exact same stance as yours and would vote against gay marriage because he believes it goes "against the definition of marriage". We have a long way to go, but the main thing is we are happy with who we are, and no one can take that away from us :)
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