I've been terribly down today. Not down, but terribly down. Back to the levels of last winter and I can't work out why. Maybe it's because I go back to work tomorrow, but I've been thinking, I'm not really that fussed about that. It'll be rubbish yeah, but it's not that. I don't know...
Work is a strange one anyway. Tomorrow and Thursday, I will be with The Capable One, so it will be long and un-interesting but working with someone who can actually do their job usually makes it uneventful and easy, so it won't be a problem. The weekend however? I just feel like I am at my wits end with The Wall. I haven't even done a shift with him yet and already I know I won't be able to handle it. The incompetence, the winding up, the sheer incapability to do his job means I will get into trouble for it. It's been an all too familiar pattern the last few months. The last 9 days have been great, but honestly, I cannot go back to work with him. He wins.
I'll give the weekend a chance. I won't go steaming in there tomorrow night, shouting to stuff your job where the Sun don't shine and walk back out again. It's unfair on the good people who work there, many of which there are. I won't just walk out without working some sort of notice. I may not even walk out at all, remember. I'm just brainstorming... But the ultimatum I put forward a couple of weeks back still stands.
One more strike, and it's not him that's out. It's me.
I went in there earlier actually to top up the Mittenmobile. Apparently, he had one of his infamous fits on Friday night when I was living it up in Manchester and then subsequently called in sick on the Saturday at 9:50, leaving Cool Will to work 16 hours straight. That's just unfair. It's the absolute low of manners and politeness to call in sick 10 minutes before you're supposed to start. And this job is not like you can just work with a man down at nights and get on with it. There HAS to be 2 people. There HAS to be. 100% of the time. He's done it a few times and how he gets away with it just astounds me. The amount of times I get into trouble for missing a few specs of dust or not facing forward a tin of beans and he can do that?
It's things like that that really gets on my nerves about that place. People can get away with calling in sick at stupid times or not turning up at all and they get away with it, yet I don't front up properly and get a "Counselling" (more like a conversation) for it. How is that fair? And yes, the man who didn't turn up a few weeks back on a Sunday morning didn't even get a bad word in his ear for it. Just let him carry on. Remember when the clocks went back and I ended up doing 12 hours? Yep. Nothing. Not a word.
I do realise I am ranting here, but if I'm to survive this week, (which at the moment is in the balance, honestly), then I need to get this off my chest.
It's one thing I hate. Pure impoliteness to your friends or colleagues. The feeling that you don't give a crap about what they must do to cover your laziness. And it's the sort of thing you find in a job like this. A dead-end job. No one gives a damn whether they get sacked or not, because they can just go and find another dead-end job.
No one doing their job properly, taking the attitude of, "Oh well, the night shift will clear it up for us", I can't take a lot more of it. Recently, we got given even more tasks, even though we don't have the time for the ones we already have, and I know, I just know, that we won't be able to get them done. And we'll get bollocked for it.
You probably haven't got a clue what I'm talking about. But I don't care. We will see what happens in this long week and by Sunday morning, maybe Monday morning, my mind will be made up. And at the moment, it's in favour of...
.. 'No More'.... 'End'....
Mother Mitten knows I'm on the verge. She came into my room before I went to Manchester and said, "So, one more night like tonight and you're gone hey?". I said, "Yep." She said no more. I think she understands. I hope so. When I quit my job at SmartMove, (Yes, you read that right...), I still owed them money so they were not happy. Now, I don't owe them money.
Go back to my post ages ago entitled, "Did I say I KEPT my job?!" ... It explains all.
And even if I do quit, it's not as if I'm left with nowhere to go. I've got university to prepare for,(hopefully), and even if it is a fair few months away, I can't help but think I may not enjoy it... My thoughts at this moment are that I'm going to enjoy my course more than the socialising parts.. Why?
The course is sport. Sport is my life and being surrounded by it sounds superb. The socialising? I'm going to be surrounded by 18-year olds who have only just discovered drinking and will try and persuade me to go out every night and end up like I did last Saturday.. I can't do that. I don't have the energy.
I don't have the energy to do a lot at the moment, definitely not enough energy to put up with The Wall for another 9 months... He doesn't look like going, so maybe I should. Some would say I'm being weak and some would say I need to pull my sleeves up and get on with, but they are not the ones who have to put up with it night after night after night... Night after night of incapability and plain rudeness.
Any policeman walks in the door, he says, "Watch out child, he's after you", as he thinks I'm a hoody-wearing, binge-drinking thug. Anyone who looks under-18 walks in and he asks if I went "stabbing" with him last week. Any girl walks in and he tells me to, "stop staring at her". It's serious, serious childishness. I cannot stand childishness.
I have never hated someone so much. I cannot stress it enough.
I can't fight against it any more. This week, especially come the weekend, I will update you on how close I am to cracking and quitting. At the moment it's 50-50. Who knows what the weekend has in store.
It's clear I have no fight in me, as I have fought for the past 8 months and lost. Nearly.
x
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