Unattached

I don't feel too good at the moment. I feel like no one really bothers what I do, or how I do it or whether they want to speak to me at all. In short, I am incredibly lonely.

The job is an underlying factor. But I would of hoped some people would at least try and talk to me or bother in what I'm doing these days, even if it the same old rubbish. No one seems fussed. I'm not getting invited to things, day after day, I have a total of 0 texts on my phone, no attempt from anyone to communicate. They all seem to be getting on with having fun while I waste away in the darkness...

Friends who I considered awesome and fantastic, and still do, haven't even tried to talk in days. Apparently, one of them is back in Bedford for the weekend, not that I knew. Maybe I am not wanted anymore. Maybe people have become fed up of my moaning and whingeing all the time that they no longer want to be associated. Maybe I'm stuck with only The Wall as company until I go to university..

Winter does strange things to me. The cold makes me extra-down and there seems like there is nothing I can do about it. Even the prospect of another 4 nights off next week does little to improve my mood. What's the point in having time off if there is no one to enjoy the time with? I might aswell spend it at work and get a bit of extra money under my belt, instead of wasting away in the cold, with no one.

I have been in an awful mood all week, mind you. Barely speaking to anyone, just getting lost in my thoughts while I do the same mundane tasks night after night after night. Turn up at 9:45, complete 8 hours of the same routine, before waiting for 10 minutes while the car defrosts itself before going home and doing nothing until bed. Just the same old useless rubbish, and even this morning, football is cancelled, so it's exactly the same. Sitting here, bored. Cold. Lonely.

I need something to happen. Even if it is just talking to someone, catching up on what they've been up to, even if I have nothing to update them on myself. I just want to know from someone that I am not forgotten about.

I'm rather upset about it all.

x