An Absentee And A Half

Even if I wasn't going through a difficult patch at the moment, it would be hard to be in a good mood after that.

Friday night, the new busy night of the week, and we were supposed to have 3 people on, until 2am at least. Me and The Wall were present and correct, (sort of), but the 3rd member of the trio was nowhere to be seen and wasn't to be seen all night. To add insult to injury, The Wall announced he had been fitting all day and would be surprised if he went through the whole night without a reoccurance.

"Here we go..", I thought. The final straw coming up. Come 6am, I'm quitting. My ultimatum coming into force. It was made even worse by a vicious headache I had, and the Nurofen hadn't kicked in yet...

But it didn't really turn out to be that bad. Ok, The Wall felt that he couldn't do any of his jobs because he felt unwell, so he parked himself behind Till 1. This left me to get on with my jobs without the hassle of drunk customers, which worked out in my favour! I couldn't care less if he didn't do his jobs, because I did mine! What's more, despite having moments where I thought he was going to start, he didn't, and we got through the whole shift without a single fit. Result. By the time Legend Alex had turned up in the morning, I had spent a relaxing shift going through my, admittedly, monotonous jobs with consumate ease and all was well. Someone else even offered to do most of the horrendous 1st part of the weekend papers for me.

So, at 6.15am, I was driving home in a content mood. Yet again, I was annoyed at the general feelings going on inside my brain and I was annoyed that I hadn't been able to go out like a normal teen, but it's all part of my life these days. Texts from a few people kept me entertained throughout the night, including much-needed Ashes updates, (well batted Bedford boy!), so 6am came around fairly quickly.

I can't help but think tonight is going to be awful though. It is my thought process that if I think something is going to go really, really bad, when it doesn't seem to go like that, it seems good. If I think something is going to go well, and it doesn't, you're left crushed. I haven't got a clue if you understood any of that...

Anyway, I'm not looking forward to tonight at all and seeing as the current time is 09:43 and I don't feel the slightest bit tired is slightly concerning aswell.. I'm usually clinically dead for 12 hours by this time of the morning, but today seems to be different. I may just have a normal morning, go to sleep at 1pm-ish and sacrifice a bit of sleep. It's safe to say football will be cancelled for the 2nd consecutive week tomorrow, so I can catch up then.

It's a hard passage for me this. If you're looking for a simile, it's almost as if I am a batsman who hasn't scored any runs for a few overs, and I'm becoming bogged down, under pressure to get off the mark. It's like that. Sort of... In the Summer, I was hitting boundaries, flowing off my bat but this Winter, I'm playing and missing..

Sorry. I'm strange.

I can't wait for the Summer again. None of this depressing crap bogging me down. And the promised life, ever closer.

Bye x