Patience Exhausted

Tonight was difficult. Very difficult. Incredibly busy, lots of drunk people, lots of customers and custom, it was immensely tough. I still feel a teensy bit rough and after a long day, in which I only got three-and-a-half hours sleep, I knew it was going to be hard.

It was just us two tonight. No third party to help us do the jobs that had famously mounted up in the past couple of weeks. There was no way I could do all of them, even the Goddess of All Evil acknowledged that this morning, which was thankful to hear. However, my mind was on a different matter and I'm afraid the end result wasn't one I was hoping for.

You see, I have muddled with the idea of handing in my notice for this job. Especially after last week's fiascos with The Wall, I felt my patience had exhausted to the absolute limit. The bottom. End. Tonight, he was on the edge of fitting all night long, which made things incredibly difficult, more so than they should of been. I was practically working alone, and although he didn't have a full blown fit in the end, he may aswell have done. However, as for the past few weeks, I have tried to make up the courage to talk to one of the managers, telling them of my intentions to hand in my notice. I don't, and carry on to the next day as if nothing has happened.

Tonight?

Tonight, all night, I was creating the perfect leaving speech. I had the perfect conversation in my mind:

"Well, sorry love, but I'm walking out, I've had enough of this s***!"

"You can't do that..."

"Oh, just you watch me!"

I've got to admit, that last line is a dream of mine. If I get to say that line in a similar situation in my life, without losing anything, I will die a happy man!

I wouldn't bother with the handing in of a notice, I would just leave and never come back. Almost like I did with my old job. Just give up and be cowardly, not facing up to the consequences. Sounds just like me. I was so frustrated at the lack of progress being shown in this whole case. This frustration was summed up perfectly, when I eventually decided on a more sensible option.

After I had completed the 1st instalment of the weekend papers, not so bad this morning, I decided I had to do something. I asked The Goddess of All Evil for a quick word, in which she obliged, and we had a chat about the situation. I said I really wasn't happy with the expectation of coming into work and expecting him to be ill.

All I heard was words though.

"I understand what you're going through in these nights"

"I can see what it must be like when he starts"

"I know it must be a huge problem".

They're all just words. How can she understand what happens, when she's never there? She wouldn't let me speak, until I finally managed to get in the phrase, "This is why I want to hand in my notice", but she dismissed it, asking me not to give up and to come in on Monday and speak to the returning Store Manager about the situation. Tonight then, after thinking I may well be free of it all, I feel no progress has been made at all.

I think I needed to be more assertive in the conversation. I backed down too easily and I must make sure I am more confident on Monday when I see the Store Manager about it. However, I am happy I didn't make a scene and walk out with no intention of returning. I was told, rather thankfully, from The Wall, that I may lose all of my month's pay if I left without notice. He has a point I suppose, for once! I get paid on Wednesday, so if nothing comes of the meeting on Monday, then I will be an idiot and pack up and leave, without notice, but won't lose any money!

Talking of losing money, I won £12.50 on the EuroMillions but I put my ticket into the machine when the machine wasn't on, so it swallowed it! Awww!

So, tonight is going to be much the same. 2 people, more drunk people, same evil manager talking rubbish in the morning. I don't even get a Christmas this year...

Cya x