Attitude

My attitude towards everything has been rather poor recently.

Ever since I handed in my notice, my effort at work has gone from a fairly solid percentage to ... well... nothing. Why should I put in any effort if no one else is going to and in a few weeks I'll be gone anyway? I may well get a bollocking tomorrow for missing out a number of things but why should I care? I'll just say, "fine", and get on with it. They can't do a lot...

My attitude towards Christmas is a strange one aswell. I know full well I am working all of this week and frankly, I just cannot be bothered with all the, "thankyoooous" and rubbish samey-samey rubbish that only Christmas can bring. I haven't even bought anyone any Christmas presents yet and seeing as I'm nearly falling asleep typing this, I am not going to stay awake to go into town today to buy anything. The same will probably happen tomorrow, and then I will be greeted with disappointed family as I take and don't give on Christmas morning...

Before going back to bed.

Because that is who I am, and have been, for the last 9 months. Just a nocturnal alien who seems ... alienated... from everyone else. I know 'Not Buying Christmas Presents' is just an act of laziness, but part of me just doesn't care. I disike Christmas, and shouldn't have to act like I care just because everyone else keeps playing the charade. What's the difference in me buying them something now or buying them something a couple of days after Christmas, when I'm not clinically dead? They'll still get it. Just a little late..

Just the whole cliched uselessness that Christmas brings, actually does make me sick. The only thing I really need is a new pair of headphones, as the ones I'm currently listening to Coldplay through are quite physically painful on my ears. I pointed this out, stating I only wanted headphones and I don't need anything else, but apparently I "have" to have some other things because it will seem "unfair". I mean, seriously? I'm not 6. I will survive not having any presents. And of course the yearly riddle of, "Who Has Grandma for Xmas Day?" is no longer needed, which is a shame, and it does also seem a little wierd. Our family and my Uncle's family used to share Grandma year on year, (yep! She was a parcel!), but this year, the problem isn't there!

My perfect Christmas this year? Not being hassled too much at work the night before, and some good TV to catch up on when I come home. Otherwise, let me sleep. But it won't happen. I will be shepharded awake by my Sister at Ridiculous O'Clock and if I go to sleep before Christmas Lunch, (which I will undoubtedly will want to), then I will be criticised by everyone, as with anything, for being a grumpy Scrooge. I will be shouted at by Sister Mitten, who is almost like a 2nd Mother Mitten, for upsetting the family home and I won't give a jiffy as usual. I can see it happening already.

If you do happen to be reading this, which you're not, then come Christmas Morning, just leave me alone, and save everyone the trouble.

Ciao x