Monday, 31 May 2010

Drunk or Tired?

I haven't slept since 3pm on Saturday afternoon. It's now 7:10am on Monday morning and it literally took me about 8 attempts to type those opening 2 sentences because all the keys on the keyboard are ridiculously blurry.. I do need sleep, but I feel on top of the world.

Today has been a good day. It started out bad, the co-worker getting on my nerves as usual mixed in with the fact I wasn't allowed to get any sleep due to family issues and work overrunning. I had a cricket match at 1, so stocked up on Red Bull or the Tesco Value equivalent. BP doesn't pay that well.. 1pm hit and I was already feeling like I was ready to hit the floor. I wasn't expecting a great batting innings to be fair, and after fielding first and taking another catch, (although not spectacular), I was asked to open the batting. Oh dear, better crack open another can of ... 'Kick' .. ? ..

It clearly worked. We were only chasing a score of 167, but a new best score of 60 was exactly what I was after. I should really not sleep more often, but by the time the match was finished, it was 8.30pm. One point five hours to relax and maybe sleep before another shift? Nope! I had promised to make an appearance at Kettle's maniac idea of a one-off BBQ so I went into my final shift of the week on the back of exactly 30 minutes kip. I was doomed. I had my free coffee and final can of ... 'Kick' ... ("What is this rubbish?") and I put myself in the mind set of, "only one mroe shift to go!"

My mood was highly lifted straight away though, because my co-worker had let someone escape without paying for £70 worth of fuel. To say my manager, (the evil one), went "ape shit" would be an understatement. She went berserk, and for the rest of the night, he speculated on whether he would get the sack. I refused to comment. I have no idea what the final outcome will be, but please God, let it be bad news ... for him! I know it sounds bad, but for me it's a little bit like when Jade Goody died.. I couldn't give a shit!

Right now though, after being awake for ... 40 hours straight.. I am no longer tired but feel a little bit drunk with a slight affect of the hangover. I know I need sleep and after I have done this I will, plus the good effects of 4 days off now! I'm a happy Mitten.

Ciao x

Sunday, 30 May 2010

Hitting The Wall

A lot has been said by me of this co-worker of mine, on here in the virtual world and in reality, but I really am getting fricked off now by his complete laziness and inability to do anything productive.

It is just the two of us during a night shift. 90% of my shifts are with this ridiculous excuse for a worker which leaves me a lot of work to do and seeing as tonight was a Saturday night .. things were worse than usual. Customers consistently come and go, most of them being drunk which usually means them taking an average of 3 months 14 days to find the correct money to pay me before I sprint back to my other job, usually in the bakery, before a taxi driver comes in to pay 30 quids worth of petrol in 20p's. This job isn't standing behind a till. Trust me.

It is for him though. Ok, it's not behind a till, but it literally took him 4 hours tonight to put out roughly 12 crates of crisps and what he calls "sweeties", because he is literally a child. I have told him many times to hurry up and to "hurry the hell up" and "hurry the fuck up!" (making sure there are plenty of customers around to embarrass the hell out of him, of course), but he takes no attention. Instead, he drops down a gear and goes even slower. I cannot feasibly explain how frustrating this guy is until you experience it yourself. And you don't want that. It is literally like working with human brick wall. He does nothing except stop you horribly in your tracks once in a while, just to piss you off. Just like a true brick wall. Everyone else in the place, even the managers, know he is a useless tool. One even admitted the other day, "I hope he just quits, he gets on my fuckin' nerves. I dunno how you survive!" I answered, "I nearly don't"..

My patience then is tested to the extreme limit, and I am glad I have a reasonable amount of patience and the ability to stop myself getting angry at people, although I have gone mighty close on a couple of occasions. The only way his laziness makes things better, is that time goes quicker because I am usually as busy as Bill Gates when a new version of Windows is released. Possibly the worst simile of all time that one. One for Beddoe I think. Computer nerd.

Anyway, I'm home now, looking forward to the cricket match later, which hopefully won't be called off due to the Indian monsoon-like downpour we had earlier, but I reckon we will be OK. 5 hours sleep before I have to get up, with legs aching like an Ethiopian marathon runner with a pale of water on his head, I suppose I'd better get some sleep. Before I have to endure another 8 hours of working with Mr.Lazy. Officially lazier than Mr.Lazy from the Mr.Men books.

Laters x

Edit: I've decided, after lying awake for an hour and a half, to take the "Stay awake and drink Red Bull" option. I'm gonna regret it at 7pm tonight..

Saturday, 29 May 2010

Dara And The Demon Headmaster

Tonight was fantastic. I was effectively being paid to go and see a comedy show and due to Kettle's fantastic ticket buying skills, we had front-row centre seats for one of the nation's best comics, Mr Dara O Briain.

I have been to one of his shows before, in the huge Hammersmith Appollo in capital city, but tonights was a little closer to home. Our front-row centre tickets meant a chance to get involved in the show. I was excited yet a little nervous, but the show must go on!

He was brilliant. Better than the first time I saw him, and my wish came true and I did indeed get involved. The question from Dara was "Has anyone been involved in a dream involving a famous person?" and, because I'm stupid, I said "Yeah" and told him the story of The Demon Headmaster and how he always found me in my dreams before falling down a large plant pot and ending up doing the fally thing that was always happens in dreams.. It got a large laugh and he kept mentioning it throughout the show, aswell as researching the programme in the interval! What a man he is! I thoroughly enjoyed the show and I'm also being paid to write this, aswell as go to that! Holiday pay rocks!

Not a lot more to say.. I'll update you again on Sunday morning probably! Look forward to it!

Laters x

Friday, 28 May 2010

The One Hander

You asked for a "bloggle" on it, so here goes. Another successful victory for Aspen was completed this evening in fine fashion. A damaged Blunham pitch put us in a bit of trouble, including myself, but an assured 48 from Stretch Armstrong gave us a good total to defend. My batting as of late, (in this match and in the nets), hasn't been great due to the sheer fact I can't hold a bat properly. This damaged middle finger is doing worse than I first anticipated. Still a poor shot to get out though. I was annoyed. But I made up for it later on.

We made 133 off our 16 overs, definitely a competitive target on that pitch, and we were well on our way with a few early wickets before a 4th wicket partnership put them back in the game. Then, just as they started to look as if they may start pushing, Clarky bowled a short bunger that the batsman didn't connect with properly. It went in the air, sort of towards me at mid-off, but I never had any intention to even try and catch it. Then it kept coming, and it came some more, and I thought I may aswell have a go. I dived up and forward, leaping like the salmon I am, and somehow managed to hold on to it, one-handed, inches before it hit the ground. Before I knew it, I was swamped by teammates. It seemed the old mittens had done it again. I never do like to take all the plaudits simply for one moment, because the lanky moron batted well for his 48 and Clarky and co. bowled well. But I was delighted to live up to my rapturous reputation. We won comfortably and the new look Aspen side retain their 100% record for the season. Fantastic stuff!

So, I was in a good mood heading off to work. I had just about made it home from cricket in time and raced off to the same old place for what was bound to be another night of fun-filled action .. Yeah right! As soon as I got there, I got the instant feeling it was going to be a long one. My insticts weren't wrong, and it turned out to be incredibly busy. I dealt with the pressure well, except for one small mistake, that the manager pounced on in the morning, and I got a bit of a bollocking for it. I accidentally left one tray of fresh produce outside the chiller.. I was that busy I forgot about it.. But I felt it was a little harsh none the less.. Another lesson learnt I suppose. Maybe this is what work is all about. When you feel as if things are going well, one thing happens and you're back at square one. Do Not Pass Go. Do Not Collect £200.

Besides, I've got the night off tomorrow, due to having front-row centre tickets to see one of the greatest comics of the time, Mr. Dara O'Briain. I can't wait for that. Then back to work on Saturday night, with the brick wall. That is going to be impossible. And very tiring... I don't want to..

One more thing before I go. The effects of the past couple of years ... the depression and the bad times don't seem to be affecting me anymore. I still feel it trying to break through, but I am that used to it, I know how to channel it into something a little more positive. I don't let it get me down as much as I used to. I fight it.

Bye x

Bye x

Thursday, 27 May 2010

Cheesecake For Breakfast

Tonight was a good shift. I wasn't working with the usual brick wall, instead, with someone who actually put some effort in, and we had fun laughing at the misfortune of the other dude. Even at 6am, the evil of all evil managers came in, switched on the lights after the 2nd power cut in 2 days and then commented on what a good job I had done before saying how she wished the other kid would "piss off". I was stunned. And drove home happy. Things get better though.

I walked in through the door, smile on my face, greeted with the usual bowl of cornflakes that Mother Mitten so kindly leaves out for me every morning despite me hardly ever having them, instead reaching for the cupboard on the other side of the kitchen for something sugary or with a hint of chocolate in. Why should it matter that it's 6.30am? However, today, I went for the fridge, feeling a strange urging towards it and opened it up. There sat on a large plate was half a strawberry cheesecake. Oh, my day cannot get any better! I just finished it off.. yep ... all of it! Now that's a breakfast!

Today, (or even yesterday/today) was/is a good day. I woke up at 11am, thinking it was a bad mistake as I would be shattered for my shift later, but I had promised the Dassman a pub lunch and that is what he got. It was a tad extortionate for what it was, but the venue was lovely and we had a good old catch up about our refereeing, our start to the cricket season and the cruelness that is exam season. I loved every minute of it and would like to do it again some time soon. I then had a net with Boony and Gilly which was eventful, had a couple of hours power nap and went off to work, where the magic began. Only one more shift tomorrow, then a day off tomorrow to go and see one of the greatest comics the world has ever seen, before 2 shifts with the Devil at the weekend, before another 4 days off. Ladies and Gents, life is good. And I can be honest with you, I didn't imagine myself saying that 3 months ago.

Aswell as this, our holiday for the summer is booked. Amazingly inside 3 days, a day trip to Brighton followed by a golfing holiday in the South of England, (somewhere), I simply cannot wait. I instantly booked the days off, not wanting to miss out, and I am already counting down the days. It's something a bit different, unlike the usual piss up that people my age seem to embark on.

Car, money, holiday, job. 4 things that equal a happy man. Now watch things crash and burn.

Ciao x

Tuesday, 25 May 2010

Ambition

I'm on fire with these blogs tonight, but I suppose I've got to make it up to you. I've been up all night as the curse of the night shift worker rears it's ugly head once more. Current time - 06.30. Should I go to sleep?

Anyway, sleep is not the topic of this blog, instead, it is ambition. Ambition is something I have deeply lacked in recent years and probably something I will never have. I've learnt to accept that fact and frankly can't be bothered to work on getting it. Other people though, mostly friends, have buckets full of it and good for them. Even if some of them have unlikely ambitions. Bear with me one minute ... I have a nosebleed.

*Runs to sink*

Well, that was eventful. I looked as macho as Mike Tyson with blood all over my face. I would like to point out that it was the effects of hayfever and having the window open all night and letting pollen leak through the window that causes my nose to leak red stuff all over me.

Where was I? Oh yes. Ambition. Some people I know have ambitions to become lawyers or doctors or vets or prostitutes .. ahem ... and that's fine, if it was possible and it isn't deluded. Take for example a friend of mine. I won't mention any names but his name starts with S, ends in T and has something a baby sleeps in in the middle of it. Try and work that out and let me know if you get it. However, he wants to be an astronaut when he grows up, (literally), and he has a grand total of about 1 and a half GCSE's and took 6 attempts to pass his car theory test, (notorious for it's easiness), so seeing him drive a rocket ship to Mars isn't really feasible. Also, a friend of mine, wants to move into his own house and thinks he and his friends can do it on a minimal budget of about £500 a month. Ok, if you don't want any water or food and want to freeze to death in the winter then you could live there for a month? Sorry man, but you gotta re-think that!

Some friends I have certainly have the potential to be what they want. I know a couple of slappers who would make great prostitutes, but on a serious note, how can you lot have the ambition to work at it? Surely the temptation to think, "To hell with it, lets go party", is too much to take?! Given the option of staying in revising the functions of the aorta, (aren't I just so cool!) or going to a mahusive party in the outskirts of Reading... isn't the choice easy? I know I'll regret not having any ambition when I'm 39, stuck in a dead end job with not a lot of money, but right now I don't care because I have all the money in the world to do what I want. When you're all 39, you'll have the money but it will go on your kids' education. And then you'll regret not taking the easy way out. And yes, I do realise I am just continuing my rant from earlier, but I'm bored. Get over it.

My life is much better than it was in the winter. Summer brings out the best of me, namely my blood. The gorgeous weather coupled with actually having money and a car means I can do what I like when I'm not at work and not restricted by the budgetry restraints that even the government are having to contest with. I am the richest person in the world. Apart from Bill Gates. And Justin Bieber. I was happy-ish last Summer aswell, especially after exams, but the Winter before that was horrific and this winter wasn't great either... Maybe the Sun does help. That's the warm thing in the air, not the newspaper.. no wait.. The newspaper helps aswell. Especially a particular page..

A scientific fact for you then. The Sun, (both types), helps with your mood. I should become a scientist. Nah, I can't be bothered.

Cya x

Its All Part Of Growing Up

As I've got older, I've learnt valuable lessons that you have no choice but to go out and find out for yourself. The world of school I was used to for 18 years vanishes into the distance and my 6 months in the world of work has taught me the most valuable lesson of them all. Hard work pays off. And pays well.

I've now worked out that school is a place full of patronising and diluted success taught by people who don't really care about your future and just want their pay cheques at the end of the week, just like anyone else. Ok, they will urge you to complete your coursework for good reason, but if they didn't, they wouldn't be doing their job properly and then that creates problems for them. I'm fairly sure there are very few teachers out there who really do care where their students end up. I've seen a couple since I've left and they couldn't care less where I were. And frankly, I don't blame them. They still get their pay slips. The only thing schools care about are wages and league tables. Students futures? Not their problem.

I'm making it seem as if schools are all corrupt and careless and frankly, I am. No, I joke. But all the nagging and pushing of school puts students under needless pressure where most of the things they learn in that place, they won't need out in the real world anyway. What good is the Pythagoras Theorem when someone wants to buy a house to live in? What good is the periodic table when your manager is berating you for not managing your account properly? What good is school for? What I didn't like was you spent 6 hours at school and then even more hours at home doing 'overtime' and if you didn't do that overtime, all that work at school goes down the drain. Out in the real world, you work your 8 hours and you go home. You have the choice to do extra work, you don't HAVE to do it. The main reason I didn't go to university. Fed up of the hours and hours of work that may or may not be there. At least I know how many hours I work each week now, and I'm all the happier for it.

At the moment, everyone I know who went to university is fed up of it all and under a ridiculous amount of pressure, working hours upon hours to finish off an assignment or revising a particular part of the course that may not even be in their final exam anyway. The weekend just gone has been up in the regions you'd expect in Spain and Down Under yet university students are expected to slave away revising biocodes or whatever codswallop people do there, all for a job that won't be there when they get out. Ok, I'm straying into that debate again. I won't go there.

For me though, I don't know why you would want to put yourself under all that pressure for years and years just to gain a few thousand pounds p/a when you're 40 and fed up of life anyway. Live when you can. Now. Get money now, live well, and do all the stuff that your body will let you. If you get your dream job and the money you always dreamed of when you're 40 years old, you will have "settled down" and most of that money will go to the kids Christmas presents and the mortgage that will be ridiculously expensive given Mr.Osbourne's cuts anyway. All that time spent revising and finishing assignments, all for nothing. Maybe it's because I had and still have no clue of where I'm going. I suppose if people want something enough, then they will do everything they can to get it. And I don't blame them. I don't know what that feels like. So to comment on it, would be hypocritical.

I suppose I'd better delete this whole post then. Because I haven't grown up. I may be 45 years and 360 days away from my free bus pass, but I'm still a kid inside. Settling down? No thanks.