The current time is 06:49 and it is now officially early morning and not late night. I haven't been to sleep yet as I slept most of yesterday due to dizziness and the like. I physically couldn't get up, so I didn't.
There is not much point going to sleep now. If I did, I wouldn't get up till 6:49PM and that, even in my book, is a waste of a day. So, I now face the prospect of filling the length of a day that I am not used to. I am expecting my Father to walk in any second, just getting up for work, and either a) shout at me for staying up all night and demand I go to sleep or b) enquire as to why I haven't gone to bed and then walk out the door wondering how my brain works. If only I knew. On the other hand, he may just not bother at all and go to work. I hope it's the latter as I'm not sure I want to face the wrath of a tired father, who is agitated at the fact he's got another long day ahead of him. He does a good job.
So. What am I going to do..? Might go to town but I used to do that just to go for the recruitment agencies and now I don't need to do such a thing. Thank Christ. So going to town would literally serve no purpose so I will probably just wait for Kettle to finish whatever he's doing and go to town with him at a more Godly hour. Lunch maybe? Would be delicious!
I will probably have a mid-afternoon nap to make up for lost time that was supposed to be taken during the night.. I don't know why I didn't go to sleep... (I can hear my Dad getting up...) I spent most of the night catching up on BBC shows using iPlayer and then watched a few C4 shows on YouTube before just generally facebook stalking people. I still act like the classic unemployed person.
Talking of employment, I am a tad nervous about the new job. The problem being is that because it's a night-shift job, I may well have to deal with a few drunks and although I have experience of drunk people, most of them have been friends who don't have the potential to punch and/or stab me and also finishing at 6am will mean I can either sleep my usual number of hours and miss most of the day out, and be comfortable or hardly sleep at all then enjoy the things I enjoy doing, but in a haze of tiredness. I have already mentioned going for promotion in refereeing whilst doing games with 3 hours sleep behind me.. I am not looking forward to that. I'm not (usually) the person who likes little or no sleep. Usually... tonight slash this morning being the rare exception of course.
Despite watching countless videos all night and generally being a lazy arse all night, I have done a little bit of reflection. Earlier, I was talking with someone about the power of the 'U Grade'. Otherwise known as, 'Ungraded', this school A Level grade signals that you are a failure. I only ever got one 'U' and that was in French, (notorious for it's difficulty), however, I was talking to someone earlier who can't stop getting them. He puts in the effort and the hard yards yet, when it comes to exams, he freezes. It made me stop and think about what I wasted when I was at school and what I could of achieved if I had put my mind to it. I don't regret what I did because I didn't want to do it at the time. It's happened and I moved on quickly. I just wonder whether, if I had put 110% effort in, whether I would be sitting here at 07:28, at home, typing this blog. I could well have been in university and maybe this blog wouldn't be here at all.. Still, nothing I can do about it now, (well there is but I don't want to), and I will live what life has given me. I'm not one to complain... yeah right!
Ok, it's 7:30.. I reckon my Dad has walked out the door without disrupting me in full flow which is a good thing. He may enquire this evening, but it won't matter because he will be in a better mood and I may well have fallen asleep by then! God, I'm bored already.. Don't know what I'm going to do for the rest of the day.. No way I'm going to sleep now...
I may well speak to you later, if I'm up and about. If not, have a good day. As usual, I know you will.
Laters x
Tuesday 30 March 2010
Monday 29 March 2010
A Creature of the Night
The current time is 02:48. I get the feeling this is going to be a long night because I feel as wide awake as I have done in the day. I'm sat here, on facebook, chatting to a few people who also don't like sleeping at night and we're all the same..
....
I don't feel tired. The time is 04:11 and I'm not one bit tired. Surely that's not normal? I had a 2 hour nap earlier but it shouldn't mean I am awake at this time. I am, well and truly, a creature of the night..
....
It's 05:06. My eyes feel the slightest bit weary but is there really any need to go to sleep? I know if I drift off now, I will stay asleep till 3pm at the earliest and there's my day gone. I was hoping to do a few things tomorrow, such as trying to get my knee moving in order to save my cup final appointment. It has felt a lot better since the rhinos attacked it this morning and I feel I can do a job on Wednesday.
....
It's 05:39. My eyes are feeling tired now and I think I'm going to have to give in. Most of my day is going to vanish in a haze of sleep tomorrow. Unless I am determined and get up at midday. I sound so lazy... I most probably am. I'm going to bed.
Night x
....
I don't feel tired. The time is 04:11 and I'm not one bit tired. Surely that's not normal? I had a 2 hour nap earlier but it shouldn't mean I am awake at this time. I am, well and truly, a creature of the night..
....
It's 05:06. My eyes feel the slightest bit weary but is there really any need to go to sleep? I know if I drift off now, I will stay asleep till 3pm at the earliest and there's my day gone. I was hoping to do a few things tomorrow, such as trying to get my knee moving in order to save my cup final appointment. It has felt a lot better since the rhinos attacked it this morning and I feel I can do a job on Wednesday.
....
It's 05:39. My eyes are feeling tired now and I think I'm going to have to give in. Most of my day is going to vanish in a haze of sleep tomorrow. Unless I am determined and get up at midday. I sound so lazy... I most probably am. I'm going to bed.
Night x
Sunday 28 March 2010
Good Weekend Turned Bad
It had been a good weekend. The party last night was good fun, albeit with some interesting interventions by the same person as usual, however, I get the feeling she has taken the last straw, so to speak, and we won't be seeing much more of the stupidity surrounding the whole episode. Long story. Feel free to ask!
Besides, I didn't want to get too drunk last night because we had a big game this morning. A top of the league clash. I was expecting it to be physical. Harpur Sunday are not renound for going easy on teams physically, but today was a different league of aggression. We started the game well enough, we were 1-0 up at half time and all was going well. We were against the wind the second half so we knew it was going to be a challenge to keep our lead. They equalised. Fair enough. It happens. After that though, we were greeted with a barrage of the dirtiest challenges you are ever likely to see on a football pitch. Like I said, I was never expecting a physically easy match, but there is "being physical", then there's "aggression", then theres "playing dirty". However, a new category has been created just for today simply entitled, "Harpur Sunday FC". I have never been greeted by challenges so dirty, unfair and downright dangerous. Our right back had his head stamped on, and finished the match with the largest bump on his head I have ever seen, most of the other players were sporting knocks and the like from the over-physical challenges, however, I feel I was the worst off. A double-footed challenge right up the inside of my knee. I can't describe the pain. I honestly thought he had broken my leg. I couldn't continue. I have continued in the past with injuries, but today was physically impossible. I was subbed off.
Not deterred by the fact they had nearly broken someone's leg, Harpur kept flying in, studs up, double footed, all the scenarios that are looked down upon by players and referees alike. I won't comment on the referee, because I have seen worse, but he did need to protect us a bit and I feel he didn't do that at all. We were bullied off the park and lost 5-1 and ended up using 3 different goalkeepers as our 2nd goalkeeper also went off injured thanks to yet another robust challenge.
You see the problem here? I don't mind playing physical teams. I'm not physical myself and I struggle in environments like that, but if a team stays the right side of what is fair, I don't mind. But when a team not just oversteps the line but takes that line and throws it in the bin and consequently runs riot, that's when I'd rather be anywhere than playing football. The time where you fear for your own safety is the time the sport I love becomes a nightmare. It could easily have been much worse today and part of me is thankful I can still walk. It really was that bad. It wasn't just the challenges that angered me either. They were incredibly unsportsmanlike, shouting things at me when I conceded the equaliser such as, "Could of done better couldn't you keeper!" and when they bagged their 3rd or 4th they shouted at my Dad sarcastically.
Aswell as this, the immaturity of our team really showed through this morning. Being 4-1 down and being bullied off the park isn't what we're used to and a couple of changes from the Gaffer sparked a large argument.. Ok, they weren't the greatest of decisions by the man in charge, but to be greeted with the shit he got from some players was totally unacceptable. The amount of time and effort my Dad puts into it and he gets treated like crap sometimes. It's not right, and I hope those players do what they say they are going to do, and stay away for good. We don't need attitudes like that. You can stay away for good.
Besides, the problem still remained that we were up against a bunch of thugs and I'm sorry, but there is no place for any team like that on any sort of pitch in sport, and football is no exception.
However, the problem for me goes much further than just the football match this morning. I now can't play a part in refereeing the Cup Final on Wednesday, even if it is a 4th official role, thanks to my knee injury. People have said that surely the 4th official doesn't move. But if the referee goes down, its the 4th official that takes over. And I don't think anyone wants a backup referee who can hardly walk. I have no choice but to come off the game. I couldn't referee this afternoon either, which means no match fee and no money and probably no money whatosever until I get my first pay cheque at BP, which is at least 3 weeks away. I can't walk anywhere without it being a large hindrance so no trips to town without huge pain. In short, I'm stuck in for a week - at least until I start my training for BP. On the plus side, Mother has given me some "sympathy money" to go out for a curry this evening. 'Every cloud' and all that. And then going back to playing football, I have no idea how long it will take for my knee to heal.. Could be a while. I'm happy to think however, that I will be fit for the cup final. I better be.
It has been a good weekend. I'm determined to not let a bunch of thugs, (or "meatheads" as my teammates call them), ruin it. But it's hard to look on the positive side when my left leg is hitched up on a pile of towls and I can't walk. Just as things were looking up...
Bye x
Besides, I didn't want to get too drunk last night because we had a big game this morning. A top of the league clash. I was expecting it to be physical. Harpur Sunday are not renound for going easy on teams physically, but today was a different league of aggression. We started the game well enough, we were 1-0 up at half time and all was going well. We were against the wind the second half so we knew it was going to be a challenge to keep our lead. They equalised. Fair enough. It happens. After that though, we were greeted with a barrage of the dirtiest challenges you are ever likely to see on a football pitch. Like I said, I was never expecting a physically easy match, but there is "being physical", then there's "aggression", then theres "playing dirty". However, a new category has been created just for today simply entitled, "Harpur Sunday FC". I have never been greeted by challenges so dirty, unfair and downright dangerous. Our right back had his head stamped on, and finished the match with the largest bump on his head I have ever seen, most of the other players were sporting knocks and the like from the over-physical challenges, however, I feel I was the worst off. A double-footed challenge right up the inside of my knee. I can't describe the pain. I honestly thought he had broken my leg. I couldn't continue. I have continued in the past with injuries, but today was physically impossible. I was subbed off.
Not deterred by the fact they had nearly broken someone's leg, Harpur kept flying in, studs up, double footed, all the scenarios that are looked down upon by players and referees alike. I won't comment on the referee, because I have seen worse, but he did need to protect us a bit and I feel he didn't do that at all. We were bullied off the park and lost 5-1 and ended up using 3 different goalkeepers as our 2nd goalkeeper also went off injured thanks to yet another robust challenge.
You see the problem here? I don't mind playing physical teams. I'm not physical myself and I struggle in environments like that, but if a team stays the right side of what is fair, I don't mind. But when a team not just oversteps the line but takes that line and throws it in the bin and consequently runs riot, that's when I'd rather be anywhere than playing football. The time where you fear for your own safety is the time the sport I love becomes a nightmare. It could easily have been much worse today and part of me is thankful I can still walk. It really was that bad. It wasn't just the challenges that angered me either. They were incredibly unsportsmanlike, shouting things at me when I conceded the equaliser such as, "Could of done better couldn't you keeper!" and when they bagged their 3rd or 4th they shouted at my Dad sarcastically.
Aswell as this, the immaturity of our team really showed through this morning. Being 4-1 down and being bullied off the park isn't what we're used to and a couple of changes from the Gaffer sparked a large argument.. Ok, they weren't the greatest of decisions by the man in charge, but to be greeted with the shit he got from some players was totally unacceptable. The amount of time and effort my Dad puts into it and he gets treated like crap sometimes. It's not right, and I hope those players do what they say they are going to do, and stay away for good. We don't need attitudes like that. You can stay away for good.
Besides, the problem still remained that we were up against a bunch of thugs and I'm sorry, but there is no place for any team like that on any sort of pitch in sport, and football is no exception.
However, the problem for me goes much further than just the football match this morning. I now can't play a part in refereeing the Cup Final on Wednesday, even if it is a 4th official role, thanks to my knee injury. People have said that surely the 4th official doesn't move. But if the referee goes down, its the 4th official that takes over. And I don't think anyone wants a backup referee who can hardly walk. I have no choice but to come off the game. I couldn't referee this afternoon either, which means no match fee and no money and probably no money whatosever until I get my first pay cheque at BP, which is at least 3 weeks away. I can't walk anywhere without it being a large hindrance so no trips to town without huge pain. In short, I'm stuck in for a week - at least until I start my training for BP. On the plus side, Mother has given me some "sympathy money" to go out for a curry this evening. 'Every cloud' and all that. And then going back to playing football, I have no idea how long it will take for my knee to heal.. Could be a while. I'm happy to think however, that I will be fit for the cup final. I better be.
It has been a good weekend. I'm determined to not let a bunch of thugs, (or "meatheads" as my teammates call them), ruin it. But it's hard to look on the positive side when my left leg is hitched up on a pile of towls and I can't walk. Just as things were looking up...
Bye x
Saturday 27 March 2010
Team Huddle
Football training tonight was good. It looked as if everyone wanted to be there and we all played well and played what pundits call "good football". Personally, I played well making a few blinding saves and being solid in my basic skills and I was happy with my performance in time for Sunday's big top of the league clash at Harpur.
I was ready to go home in a happy enough spirit after a hard-working, good-quality session, however, that time came round again when the coach .. manager .. gaffer .. decided to have an "inspiring" team talk. This being my Dad, the team-talk was never going to be one that Matt Busby would of been proud of, and I was right. The talk revolved around the attitude of some players and certain players' dads.. The Gaffer, (which is what I shall call him seeing as I'm talking football), spent most of the thing procrastinating on what a hindrance some people's parents were having on games on a Sunday morning. He got a rough response from my team-mates who were saying that he should be the one criticising and to be honest, I couldn't agree more. The Gaffer takes the policy of "we're not kids so we can work out what we're doing wrong for ourselves". Sorry, but if you're going to manage a team you need to point out where we're going wrong. He has picked up on the attitude problem though, which to be honest Stevie Wonder could pick up on, as someone with half an eye could see the swagger our team sometimes plays with on a Sunday morning. My Dad does a good job on the off the field stuff and he puts 100% to the cause, but I reckon his skills lie away from football management. Secretly, I'm hoping he quits next season with me, but this team has sort of turned into his life, (apart from making pies), so the likelihood of him leaving is quite low.
Throughout this "team-talk", I was taking a back seat and leaning against the wire fence as I usually do whilst letting everyone else talk. The Gaffer, (back to football vocab), after spending 10 minutes talking about attitude, moved on to signing on for next season. You see, we had agreed to not tell anyone in the team that I was dropping it next season, and it still stands like that. I honestly thought he was just going to blurt it out though which would mean the end of Mowsbury Athletic for next season. I don't like to big myself up, but if everyone else sees the possibility that my Dad may well end up being the goalkeeper for next season, they will not bother playing. No disrespect to him, but I'm fairly sure Tinky-Winky would do a better job in goal than my Dad, who is still suffering heavily from his Achilles Tendon injury he suffered last year. The only resemblence he has with David Beckham..
I feel a tad guilty about leaving the side at the end of the season. Especially without letting anybody know about it.. I know that some of the other players are thinking of quitting but, (again, I don't want to big myself up), midfielders and strikers can be replaced. There are players literally queueing up to be in this squad, yet I don't think the queue is very long for goalkeepers. In fact, I'm fairly sure that queue consists of no one.. I am the only person who can be in goal long-term, (Mickey stands in on the rare occasion), so if the team doesn't find a replacement, that is literally the end of Mowsbury Athletic. A long and illustrious history ruined thanks to a selfish decision by it's goalkeeper. Ok... 2 years long history.. but it's still a history!
Besides, it hit me the other day that promotion in refereeing, (which is the reason I'm quitting playing), will be much tougher than I first realised. Of course, when I first applied for promotion, I hadn't got this night-shift job. Now I know I will be working nights, finishing work at 6am then going out to referee at 10am is going to be very tough. Especially for someone who doesn't function properly with less than 8 hours sleep. Being assessed while falling asleep in the centre circle isn't going to get me very far.. However, I shall give it my best shot! I may just invest in a coffee machine..
Anyway, the time is 03:20 and I have promised to go and help out at the cricket club at 1 so I suppose I'd better go to bed. I'm really looking forward to tomorrow. A bit of helping out, followed by the cricket season's first outdoor net session with a house party in the evening! Tomorrow's going to be a good one. I shall bloggle about it. Definitely.
Ciao x
I was ready to go home in a happy enough spirit after a hard-working, good-quality session, however, that time came round again when the coach .. manager .. gaffer .. decided to have an "inspiring" team talk. This being my Dad, the team-talk was never going to be one that Matt Busby would of been proud of, and I was right. The talk revolved around the attitude of some players and certain players' dads.. The Gaffer, (which is what I shall call him seeing as I'm talking football), spent most of the thing procrastinating on what a hindrance some people's parents were having on games on a Sunday morning. He got a rough response from my team-mates who were saying that he should be the one criticising and to be honest, I couldn't agree more. The Gaffer takes the policy of "we're not kids so we can work out what we're doing wrong for ourselves". Sorry, but if you're going to manage a team you need to point out where we're going wrong. He has picked up on the attitude problem though, which to be honest Stevie Wonder could pick up on, as someone with half an eye could see the swagger our team sometimes plays with on a Sunday morning. My Dad does a good job on the off the field stuff and he puts 100% to the cause, but I reckon his skills lie away from football management. Secretly, I'm hoping he quits next season with me, but this team has sort of turned into his life, (apart from making pies), so the likelihood of him leaving is quite low.
Throughout this "team-talk", I was taking a back seat and leaning against the wire fence as I usually do whilst letting everyone else talk. The Gaffer, (back to football vocab), after spending 10 minutes talking about attitude, moved on to signing on for next season. You see, we had agreed to not tell anyone in the team that I was dropping it next season, and it still stands like that. I honestly thought he was just going to blurt it out though which would mean the end of Mowsbury Athletic for next season. I don't like to big myself up, but if everyone else sees the possibility that my Dad may well end up being the goalkeeper for next season, they will not bother playing. No disrespect to him, but I'm fairly sure Tinky-Winky would do a better job in goal than my Dad, who is still suffering heavily from his Achilles Tendon injury he suffered last year. The only resemblence he has with David Beckham..
I feel a tad guilty about leaving the side at the end of the season. Especially without letting anybody know about it.. I know that some of the other players are thinking of quitting but, (again, I don't want to big myself up), midfielders and strikers can be replaced. There are players literally queueing up to be in this squad, yet I don't think the queue is very long for goalkeepers. In fact, I'm fairly sure that queue consists of no one.. I am the only person who can be in goal long-term, (Mickey stands in on the rare occasion), so if the team doesn't find a replacement, that is literally the end of Mowsbury Athletic. A long and illustrious history ruined thanks to a selfish decision by it's goalkeeper. Ok... 2 years long history.. but it's still a history!
Besides, it hit me the other day that promotion in refereeing, (which is the reason I'm quitting playing), will be much tougher than I first realised. Of course, when I first applied for promotion, I hadn't got this night-shift job. Now I know I will be working nights, finishing work at 6am then going out to referee at 10am is going to be very tough. Especially for someone who doesn't function properly with less than 8 hours sleep. Being assessed while falling asleep in the centre circle isn't going to get me very far.. However, I shall give it my best shot! I may just invest in a coffee machine..
Anyway, the time is 03:20 and I have promised to go and help out at the cricket club at 1 so I suppose I'd better go to bed. I'm really looking forward to tomorrow. A bit of helping out, followed by the cricket season's first outdoor net session with a house party in the evening! Tomorrow's going to be a good one. I shall bloggle about it. Definitely.
Ciao x
Friday 26 March 2010
The Friday Feeling
Today is Friday, (despite the blog date saying it's Thursday, but I know better!) Usually the day of the week most looked forward to by employed persons as the "start of the weekend". I have of course recently gained employment, however, for the last 3 months, Fridays have been the same as any other day and I've frequently asked myself what day it is, simply because I've lost track. My body clock is all over the shop, (current time - 02:18), and isn't likely to get any better with the introduction of a night shift job and the upcoming cricket season!
I am sitting here, as tired as I was at 5:30pm, basically not at all and wondering to myself if I've become a person of the night. The parents recently bought me a set of blackout curtains, as if it was 1942 again, as they explained that I sleep during the day so much that these new curtains will keep out the sunlight. That's if we had any, as today has been your classic grey and gloomy British day. Rain rain rain.
However, for the first time in a long time I have a relatively busy weekend coming up. Tomorrow I may pop down to the cricket club to help out with the annual 'Ground Force Day' as there is generally a lot of work to be done down there. However, my intuition tells me that I will be too lazy to do this and will instead meet Kets in town for a walk and a garlic pizza bread from Dominos. Friday evening is always football training and then I may follow that up with a few drinks in town if I can wangle some money off the rents. I have borrowed a bit this week so I feel a little guilty asking for more.. So that will probably not materialise..
Saturday, it will still be the old Ground Force weekend so I may pop down there again and have a cheeky net outdoors and maybe do some work... Maybe... Then Saturday night is that time of the month where a friend's 18th comes round. I am bearing in mind that the last 2 18th birthday parties I have been to, I have acted the saviour of the drunk person on their big day so I am hoping a lot that I am not called into action again. House party aswell which, if my past experiences have taught me, will always have the potential to cause a few problems.. However, I hope things will be alright. She's a sensible person so I don't think she will go OTT.
Sunday is of course, Football Sunday. Big Big Big league game in the morning, against the top of the league, Harpur Sunday. Guaranteed to be a rough encounter as Harpur are more rhinos than humans, but hopefully we keep our head and play good football and bring away the win. Refereeing in the afternoon, simple Under-14 match, shouldn't be a problem, (watch out for Sunday's blog as I explain my 4 red cards I bet!) I also think we have a curry organised for the evening also with the kids who are back from university. So busy busy busy!
Then it's 'put your head down' time as I start my training for work. I've forgotten that feeling! Hopefully that will go OK and I can get into some routine, (oh god..), and I can get going on this job. It's been a whole week since I found out now and nothing has happened with the training or starting work.. It better be soon.
That's it. I'm done. I'm going to sleep. Ha! As if...
P.S. After reading some of my old posts, I noticed a line that could be easily misunderstood. It's in the 'A Bit About Me' post back at the beginning of February.
"I've had girlfriends in the past, but I've never really felt all that comfortable in them."
That's a fail if ever I saw one..
Laters x
I am sitting here, as tired as I was at 5:30pm, basically not at all and wondering to myself if I've become a person of the night. The parents recently bought me a set of blackout curtains, as if it was 1942 again, as they explained that I sleep during the day so much that these new curtains will keep out the sunlight. That's if we had any, as today has been your classic grey and gloomy British day. Rain rain rain.
However, for the first time in a long time I have a relatively busy weekend coming up. Tomorrow I may pop down to the cricket club to help out with the annual 'Ground Force Day' as there is generally a lot of work to be done down there. However, my intuition tells me that I will be too lazy to do this and will instead meet Kets in town for a walk and a garlic pizza bread from Dominos. Friday evening is always football training and then I may follow that up with a few drinks in town if I can wangle some money off the rents. I have borrowed a bit this week so I feel a little guilty asking for more.. So that will probably not materialise..
Saturday, it will still be the old Ground Force weekend so I may pop down there again and have a cheeky net outdoors and maybe do some work... Maybe... Then Saturday night is that time of the month where a friend's 18th comes round. I am bearing in mind that the last 2 18th birthday parties I have been to, I have acted the saviour of the drunk person on their big day so I am hoping a lot that I am not called into action again. House party aswell which, if my past experiences have taught me, will always have the potential to cause a few problems.. However, I hope things will be alright. She's a sensible person so I don't think she will go OTT.
Sunday is of course, Football Sunday. Big Big Big league game in the morning, against the top of the league, Harpur Sunday. Guaranteed to be a rough encounter as Harpur are more rhinos than humans, but hopefully we keep our head and play good football and bring away the win. Refereeing in the afternoon, simple Under-14 match, shouldn't be a problem, (watch out for Sunday's blog as I explain my 4 red cards I bet!) I also think we have a curry organised for the evening also with the kids who are back from university. So busy busy busy!
Then it's 'put your head down' time as I start my training for work. I've forgotten that feeling! Hopefully that will go OK and I can get into some routine, (oh god..), and I can get going on this job. It's been a whole week since I found out now and nothing has happened with the training or starting work.. It better be soon.
That's it. I'm done. I'm going to sleep. Ha! As if...
P.S. After reading some of my old posts, I noticed a line that could be easily misunderstood. It's in the 'A Bit About Me' post back at the beginning of February.
"I've had girlfriends in the past, but I've never really felt all that comfortable in them."
That's a fail if ever I saw one..
Laters x
Wednesday 24 March 2010
And That's A Maximum!
Today, I spent most of the time sitting on my backside watching the Indian Premier League, admittedly with a large bar of chocolate and a can of Carlsberg and, while watching the likes of Jacques Kallis, Anil Kumble and Matthew Hayden with his tiny bat, I thought to myself how much I'm looking forward to the forthcoming cricket season.
I haven't talked so much about my cricket. Since I started writing this blog, its been football football football however, now the Summer is coming, it's close to the time where I hang the goalie gloves up for another season, (although this season indefinitely), and dust off the pads and my box in time for the new cricket season. I only started playing cricket a few years back, for a midweek team set up by CW and JC called Aspen, and I didn't have much of a role to play in that team. I looked forward to every single Wednesday evening however, as it signalled the day for a fantastic time playing 16 over cricket. Since then, I've joined Bedford and became captain last season, (don't laugh), and after a couple of years break, have re-formed Aspen with KS. So this coming season is going to be packed full of cricket and I have to admit, I haven't looked forward to something so much, for a long long time.
I don't know what it is about cricket. I'm not the most talented of players. I'm not likely to be in the next Ashes squad to be fair, but I just love the concentration required to bat well and the skill of bowling and occasionally being acrobatic making a ridiculous one-handed catch or an excellent stop in the field. Someone like me should hate the concentration part of batting, but on a blazing hot Saturday afternoon in Summer, donning the helmet and going out to the middle is something I look forward to every single week, without fail. Being captain this year aswell makes things that little more challenging and enjoyable and making decisions is something I enjoy on a warm Saturday afternoon, with the breeze coming in from the Pikey End..
Our team is quite young. Quite... immature if you like. We are not the best team in the league, (we got relegated last season although that got cancelled after a lot of new teams entered), but the fun we have out on the cricket pitch mixed in with the seriousness of playing and wanting to win is something I have missed over the winter. The difference between cricket and football is the rivalry of it all. I'm not a fan of the physicalness that football brings and the rivalry of it all, whereas, cricket is anything but. The gentleman's game. Makes it more enjoyable for everyone. Being captain also brings the responsibility of making choices and leading your team to victory, (once again, dont laugh!), and everyone looks up to you, despite it only being Saturday afternoon club cricket. It may well be quite tough this season, working nights, meaning little sleep, but this is not going to deter me from another action-packed summer!
I have my targets. Last season I got my maiden 50 and this season I hope to take it one further and get my maiden 100, (No... not my maiden 51..), and would like to get a few wickets in the bag aswell. The thing I'm looking forward to the most though is spending whole days in the sun, lounging around if you've been unjustly given out or waiting to go into bat and then defending your score as the sun goes down. Cracking jokes with teammates, (even if some of them are poor Mr O'Fee..), and having a laugh. Surely there is no better image?
So, although I may just about be a more talented footballer and more used to the sport, I do have to admit, I look forward to the cricket season more than the football season. As a player. Being a referee in football is slightly different.
Football = cold, wet Sunday mornings
whereas
Cricket = Warm, Saturday afternoons in the sun.
1st May is our first league game. I have a couple of friendly matches before that and an exhibition match on the 3rd April. I simply cannot wait.
Cya x
I haven't talked so much about my cricket. Since I started writing this blog, its been football football football however, now the Summer is coming, it's close to the time where I hang the goalie gloves up for another season, (although this season indefinitely), and dust off the pads and my box in time for the new cricket season. I only started playing cricket a few years back, for a midweek team set up by CW and JC called Aspen, and I didn't have much of a role to play in that team. I looked forward to every single Wednesday evening however, as it signalled the day for a fantastic time playing 16 over cricket. Since then, I've joined Bedford and became captain last season, (don't laugh), and after a couple of years break, have re-formed Aspen with KS. So this coming season is going to be packed full of cricket and I have to admit, I haven't looked forward to something so much, for a long long time.
I don't know what it is about cricket. I'm not the most talented of players. I'm not likely to be in the next Ashes squad to be fair, but I just love the concentration required to bat well and the skill of bowling and occasionally being acrobatic making a ridiculous one-handed catch or an excellent stop in the field. Someone like me should hate the concentration part of batting, but on a blazing hot Saturday afternoon in Summer, donning the helmet and going out to the middle is something I look forward to every single week, without fail. Being captain this year aswell makes things that little more challenging and enjoyable and making decisions is something I enjoy on a warm Saturday afternoon, with the breeze coming in from the Pikey End..
Our team is quite young. Quite... immature if you like. We are not the best team in the league, (we got relegated last season although that got cancelled after a lot of new teams entered), but the fun we have out on the cricket pitch mixed in with the seriousness of playing and wanting to win is something I have missed over the winter. The difference between cricket and football is the rivalry of it all. I'm not a fan of the physicalness that football brings and the rivalry of it all, whereas, cricket is anything but. The gentleman's game. Makes it more enjoyable for everyone. Being captain also brings the responsibility of making choices and leading your team to victory, (once again, dont laugh!), and everyone looks up to you, despite it only being Saturday afternoon club cricket. It may well be quite tough this season, working nights, meaning little sleep, but this is not going to deter me from another action-packed summer!
I have my targets. Last season I got my maiden 50 and this season I hope to take it one further and get my maiden 100, (No... not my maiden 51..), and would like to get a few wickets in the bag aswell. The thing I'm looking forward to the most though is spending whole days in the sun, lounging around if you've been unjustly given out or waiting to go into bat and then defending your score as the sun goes down. Cracking jokes with teammates, (even if some of them are poor Mr O'Fee..), and having a laugh. Surely there is no better image?
So, although I may just about be a more talented footballer and more used to the sport, I do have to admit, I look forward to the cricket season more than the football season. As a player. Being a referee in football is slightly different.
Football = cold, wet Sunday mornings
whereas
Cricket = Warm, Saturday afternoons in the sun.
1st May is our first league game. I have a couple of friendly matches before that and an exhibition match on the 3rd April. I simply cannot wait.
Cya x
Tuesday 23 March 2010
Acclimatisation
I rule at long words. Some would call it laziness, however, I've come to the conclusion that staying up till the early hours is good preperation for my recent employment opportunity. I have to be awake at 10am however to stroll down to the establishment I work for to fill in some documentation and prepare before I undertake my contribution to society. Yep, I hope you passed your English GCSE. Some of those words just hit the high-time.
Besides, I'm surprisingly comfortable coming up to me starting work again. Me being lazy and unimaginative would probably mean a considerable amount of time taken to get used to my new position and I would feel the nerves somewhat. However, being night shifts and I'm working with a few people I already know in an environment that is probably much easier than my last position, I feel reasonably comfortable with what is coming in the future. I'm sorry I don't mean to use incredibly long words but it's that time of the evening, (or morning), where long words keep you awake. Even if I'm not tired.
"You're not as brave as you were at the start
Rate yourself and rake yourself,
Take all the courage you have left
Wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head"
That is the reality. Listening to 'Little Lion Man' by Mumford and Sons, made me realise that some of the problems I have had in recent years I have created myself. My stubborness in not opening up and not talking to people leads me to bottle things up and put pressure on myself. I have no quams in admitting that I create problems for myself sometimes just to try and get attention. I used to do this. A year or so ago. I'm too fed up with problems now to do such a thing and it's not fair on the people I hurt during these. I'm not proud of making problems. I didn't do it on purpose. I just wanted to feel wanted. They weren't fake problems. I just.... could of prevented them happening with a bit of effort. But I didn't want to. Nowadays, I try 100% to get out the hole I'm in. Employment helps that.
"I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . ."
Well said MJ.
Besides, I'm surprisingly comfortable coming up to me starting work again. Me being lazy and unimaginative would probably mean a considerable amount of time taken to get used to my new position and I would feel the nerves somewhat. However, being night shifts and I'm working with a few people I already know in an environment that is probably much easier than my last position, I feel reasonably comfortable with what is coming in the future. I'm sorry I don't mean to use incredibly long words but it's that time of the evening, (or morning), where long words keep you awake. Even if I'm not tired.
"You're not as brave as you were at the start
Rate yourself and rake yourself,
Take all the courage you have left
Wasted on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head"
That is the reality. Listening to 'Little Lion Man' by Mumford and Sons, made me realise that some of the problems I have had in recent years I have created myself. My stubborness in not opening up and not talking to people leads me to bottle things up and put pressure on myself. I have no quams in admitting that I create problems for myself sometimes just to try and get attention. I used to do this. A year or so ago. I'm too fed up with problems now to do such a thing and it's not fair on the people I hurt during these. I'm not proud of making problems. I didn't do it on purpose. I just wanted to feel wanted. They weren't fake problems. I just.... could of prevented them happening with a bit of effort. But I didn't want to. Nowadays, I try 100% to get out the hole I'm in. Employment helps that.
"I'm Gonna Make A Change,
For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good,
Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . ."
Well said MJ.
Monday 22 March 2010
A New Chapter
Time to start a fresh. This week signals the end of me being lazy and putting my head down to do honest work. The job isn't glamorous by any stretch of the imagination, but I can no longer wilt away at home doing and being nothing.
On the train home from a frustrating yet still good weekend in Manchester, whilst sitting in the aisles on top of my bag whilst being trampled on by commuters and feeling like a hobo in the outer parts of Bangladesh, (and this was supposed to be first class), I was thinking. This is the start of a new chapter, no doubt. My overriding thought however was, "How long until I get monumentally bored?". My answer was "around a week", but what choice do I have? As my Mother says, "Work is boring. You've just gotta get on with it." She's right. She spends half of her days couped up in that shop run by the funny Asian man who swears at his customers so I suppose she knows what she's talking about.
However, I get the feeling it's work that gets me down. Some may call it laziness. I'm not sure what it is really. The hours seem OK and as it's nights, it leaves me free in the day to do what I want, (even if I will be slightly tired..) and to play cricket in the summer which I am very much looking forward to! Let's keep my head high. Enjoy the times.
The positives of being in work are endless though. I'll have money to go to the pub and have a curry and buy petrol which inevitably means the Mittenmobile will be back! I can't wait for that moment. I think it will be like passing my test all over again! On my days off, which will be a fair few as my hours work out so I have 4 days off in a row, every other week, I can go on day trips and the like! Maybe this won't be so bad...
Anyway, my time boring you is over for now. Today is another non-event I'm afraid, so probably won't be updating, unless something horrific/amazing happens... not likely though.
Cya x
On the train home from a frustrating yet still good weekend in Manchester, whilst sitting in the aisles on top of my bag whilst being trampled on by commuters and feeling like a hobo in the outer parts of Bangladesh, (and this was supposed to be first class), I was thinking. This is the start of a new chapter, no doubt. My overriding thought however was, "How long until I get monumentally bored?". My answer was "around a week", but what choice do I have? As my Mother says, "Work is boring. You've just gotta get on with it." She's right. She spends half of her days couped up in that shop run by the funny Asian man who swears at his customers so I suppose she knows what she's talking about.
However, I get the feeling it's work that gets me down. Some may call it laziness. I'm not sure what it is really. The hours seem OK and as it's nights, it leaves me free in the day to do what I want, (even if I will be slightly tired..) and to play cricket in the summer which I am very much looking forward to! Let's keep my head high. Enjoy the times.
The positives of being in work are endless though. I'll have money to go to the pub and have a curry and buy petrol which inevitably means the Mittenmobile will be back! I can't wait for that moment. I think it will be like passing my test all over again! On my days off, which will be a fair few as my hours work out so I have 4 days off in a row, every other week, I can go on day trips and the like! Maybe this won't be so bad...
Anyway, my time boring you is over for now. Today is another non-event I'm afraid, so probably won't be updating, unless something horrific/amazing happens... not likely though.
Cya x
Saturday 20 March 2010
Preconceptions
My fears before coming here have been confirmed, but not really for the reasons I had thought. I thought beforehand that the whole trip was over-hyped and that it wouldn't live up to the rapturous heights of the former trips. Although I can safely say it hasn't been as good as the other times, the reasons for it have been completely different.
I've talked of my family before, mainly my parents and not in a particularly good light, however, I am not too scared to admit I am a little homesick. The one problem I was fairly confident I wasn't going to suffer from, but for the first time in a long long ... long time, I cannot wait to get home and give Mum a hug. Even on the train up here, I got the feeling I was leaving something behind, although I wasn't entirely sure what. I still don't know. I just miss the one place I don't particularly like being all the time. Home.
This trip anyway. 1pm on Friday, we boarded the train from Bedford to Nottingham. I was waiting for a phone call from BP saying if I got the job or not. He said he'd ring at 1. 1.30... no word. He rang at 1:45.. "I'd like to offer you a job". My reaction was one of relief but also of thoughtfulness. I knew that if I'd take the job, I would have to stay there for a reasonable amount of time, and despite not knowing where I want to go in life, BP isn't it. So I turned down the job. I want to go somewhere in life, although I don't know where, and being at BP will not improve that. Are you kidding??? Of course I accepted it so I start next Thursday or Friday, (I find out on Tuesday), and I'll be back in the money soon! So I was in good spirits on Friday afternoon. Celebrating. I was looking forward to it.
We finally reached Manchester at 4:35, slightly jaded from the cramped trip, we walked outside and had to wait for Beddoe. Half an hour... in the rain... Despite this, he turned up and we got the bus back to his now familiar accommodation. We dumped our bags and moped around for a bit before deciding on going for a curry. This was a mistake. Beddoe decided to try and confuse the waiters by ordering the same thing twice and I ended up paying nearly 2 times the amount I should of. I don't mind if it doesn't cause an argument. No one is going to ruin this celebratory weekend with a petty argument over £8. We walked back to Lidl.. (Despite getting a job, I still had a restricted budget remember), then realised that not even a tramp would consider drinking Lidl brand vodka, (or wallpaper paste), and went to Tesco's next door. Colin kindly bought most of my pre-drinks for me therefore settling the curry dispute. I'll refrain from talking about Beddoe..
So. We had our pre-drinks. We had our very ridiculous pre-drinking game, (see Facebook for details!) The stage was set for a fantastic night out in .. M-Town..? Manchester yeah.. I was a little drunk but there was something holding me back. I couldn't figure out what... We got the bus to some street to a club called 5th Avenue, (American stylee). It's a great club but things just didn't happen. Colin felt ill and was sick an hour in, (not alcohol related I hasten to add), and the club just got completely packed. I wasn't enjoying this. The whole night was resembling a raver's version of Hillsborough and I was getting extremely claustrophobic. I told the others I was stepping outside for a breath of fresh air, without intention to go back in. Something was troubling me. I couldn't figure out what it was. I stood outside on the streets for an hour waiting for the others. In that time, I got asked if I was gay, (I replied "close"), asked if I wanted some "Charlie" which I found out later was cocaine and asked if I had £20 that someone could "borrow". What a ridiculous city I've landed in! Why should I care, I took the Charlie. (joke)
So, we were home early, to Beddoe's disgust. I really couldn't of cared less. I walked back to Beddoe's in pretty much silence, thinking about what was troubling me. Trying to work it out. Beddoe was badgering me to find out what the problem was, but how could I tell him if I didn't know myself? We reached Beddoe's. I had already agreed to sleep on the chairs in the lounge area after having the bed the last 2 times I've been up here. Fair do's. Took me a while to get to sleep. Was comfortable enough though.
This afternoon was fairly good. We went to Trafford Centre, did a bit of shopping. Well, Beddoe and Colin did. Obviously I have no money to waste on shirts and jackets. In classic Colin style, we visited Next about 5 times and Burton's 4 times. I stayed patient. It was a laugh watching Colin agonising on what to buy and fair play to him, he actually bought something. Usually he walks away empty-handed. We also had a pointless and fruitless trip to the travel agents to organise "this years summer holiday", which has as much chance of happening as Beddoe getting 25 points tonight. (Private joke). We were on the bus home. I already knew I didn't want to go out tonight whilst sitting on that bus. I knew it would end up being the same as last night. Don't know why, it just would. My accumulator was narrowly lost by 2 fixtures, (I would of won over £9,000), but that was expected. My worries were more based around this evening.
I knew I didn't want to go out. I had a headache, I was tired, I just generally didn't want to. Why would I go out if I didn't want to? Beddoe doesn't see it that way though and basically tried to blackmail his way through. It didn't work. I had more things to worry about than Beddoe and his drunkenness. I think Colin understood, having been in the position before, but Beddoe, no. I nearly lost my temper with him this evening. If you read a few posts back, (the very long one about my memories), I remember saying I try so very hard to not get angry at people and I have to hold myself back sometimes. This was another case of that. I succeeded once more though and I'm glad I did. He seemed in a happy enough spirit as they left to go out though, and I hope they're having a good night as I type this.
What does tomorrow bring? I think we're going to the pub to watch the football, if the other 2 can get up in time and then not a lot until we get the train home. First-class! Tickets were somehow cheaper. For Colin anyway. My tickets are normal but I'll try and get away with sitting with Colin in the posh section. Surely it's just a table and some sugar anyway...?
For once, I look forward to going home. This trip hasn't been a complete nightmare. It has had it's good moments, just way under what was expected. And that niggling feeling I've done something wrong or walked away from something.. I just want to give Mum a hug. x
Ciao x
I've talked of my family before, mainly my parents and not in a particularly good light, however, I am not too scared to admit I am a little homesick. The one problem I was fairly confident I wasn't going to suffer from, but for the first time in a long long ... long time, I cannot wait to get home and give Mum a hug. Even on the train up here, I got the feeling I was leaving something behind, although I wasn't entirely sure what. I still don't know. I just miss the one place I don't particularly like being all the time. Home.
This trip anyway. 1pm on Friday, we boarded the train from Bedford to Nottingham. I was waiting for a phone call from BP saying if I got the job or not. He said he'd ring at 1. 1.30... no word. He rang at 1:45.. "I'd like to offer you a job". My reaction was one of relief but also of thoughtfulness. I knew that if I'd take the job, I would have to stay there for a reasonable amount of time, and despite not knowing where I want to go in life, BP isn't it. So I turned down the job. I want to go somewhere in life, although I don't know where, and being at BP will not improve that. Are you kidding??? Of course I accepted it so I start next Thursday or Friday, (I find out on Tuesday), and I'll be back in the money soon! So I was in good spirits on Friday afternoon. Celebrating. I was looking forward to it.
We finally reached Manchester at 4:35, slightly jaded from the cramped trip, we walked outside and had to wait for Beddoe. Half an hour... in the rain... Despite this, he turned up and we got the bus back to his now familiar accommodation. We dumped our bags and moped around for a bit before deciding on going for a curry. This was a mistake. Beddoe decided to try and confuse the waiters by ordering the same thing twice and I ended up paying nearly 2 times the amount I should of. I don't mind if it doesn't cause an argument. No one is going to ruin this celebratory weekend with a petty argument over £8. We walked back to Lidl.. (Despite getting a job, I still had a restricted budget remember), then realised that not even a tramp would consider drinking Lidl brand vodka, (or wallpaper paste), and went to Tesco's next door. Colin kindly bought most of my pre-drinks for me therefore settling the curry dispute. I'll refrain from talking about Beddoe..
So. We had our pre-drinks. We had our very ridiculous pre-drinking game, (see Facebook for details!) The stage was set for a fantastic night out in .. M-Town..? Manchester yeah.. I was a little drunk but there was something holding me back. I couldn't figure out what... We got the bus to some street to a club called 5th Avenue, (American stylee). It's a great club but things just didn't happen. Colin felt ill and was sick an hour in, (not alcohol related I hasten to add), and the club just got completely packed. I wasn't enjoying this. The whole night was resembling a raver's version of Hillsborough and I was getting extremely claustrophobic. I told the others I was stepping outside for a breath of fresh air, without intention to go back in. Something was troubling me. I couldn't figure out what it was. I stood outside on the streets for an hour waiting for the others. In that time, I got asked if I was gay, (I replied "close"), asked if I wanted some "Charlie" which I found out later was cocaine and asked if I had £20 that someone could "borrow". What a ridiculous city I've landed in! Why should I care, I took the Charlie. (joke)
So, we were home early, to Beddoe's disgust. I really couldn't of cared less. I walked back to Beddoe's in pretty much silence, thinking about what was troubling me. Trying to work it out. Beddoe was badgering me to find out what the problem was, but how could I tell him if I didn't know myself? We reached Beddoe's. I had already agreed to sleep on the chairs in the lounge area after having the bed the last 2 times I've been up here. Fair do's. Took me a while to get to sleep. Was comfortable enough though.
This afternoon was fairly good. We went to Trafford Centre, did a bit of shopping. Well, Beddoe and Colin did. Obviously I have no money to waste on shirts and jackets. In classic Colin style, we visited Next about 5 times and Burton's 4 times. I stayed patient. It was a laugh watching Colin agonising on what to buy and fair play to him, he actually bought something. Usually he walks away empty-handed. We also had a pointless and fruitless trip to the travel agents to organise "this years summer holiday", which has as much chance of happening as Beddoe getting 25 points tonight. (Private joke). We were on the bus home. I already knew I didn't want to go out tonight whilst sitting on that bus. I knew it would end up being the same as last night. Don't know why, it just would. My accumulator was narrowly lost by 2 fixtures, (I would of won over £9,000), but that was expected. My worries were more based around this evening.
I knew I didn't want to go out. I had a headache, I was tired, I just generally didn't want to. Why would I go out if I didn't want to? Beddoe doesn't see it that way though and basically tried to blackmail his way through. It didn't work. I had more things to worry about than Beddoe and his drunkenness. I think Colin understood, having been in the position before, but Beddoe, no. I nearly lost my temper with him this evening. If you read a few posts back, (the very long one about my memories), I remember saying I try so very hard to not get angry at people and I have to hold myself back sometimes. This was another case of that. I succeeded once more though and I'm glad I did. He seemed in a happy enough spirit as they left to go out though, and I hope they're having a good night as I type this.
What does tomorrow bring? I think we're going to the pub to watch the football, if the other 2 can get up in time and then not a lot until we get the train home. First-class! Tickets were somehow cheaper. For Colin anyway. My tickets are normal but I'll try and get away with sitting with Colin in the posh section. Surely it's just a table and some sugar anyway...?
For once, I look forward to going home. This trip hasn't been a complete nightmare. It has had it's good moments, just way under what was expected. And that niggling feeling I've done something wrong or walked away from something.. I just want to give Mum a hug. x
Ciao x
Thursday 18 March 2010
Money in the Bank
Is what I need. I've just got back from Kempston Rovers vs Brackley, where my deepest flaws as an assistant were not exposed. I made a total of 4 decisions, I counted, and generally it was an awful game on an awful pitch in awful weather. If a bit of drizzle constitutes as awful. One was a throw-in. One was a corner. I gave a "debatable" goal-kick according to the Brackley striker, (a.k.a Peter Crouch) and another throw-in. For the other 89 minutes I was crabbing up and down the line, (refereeing term for "sidestepping" because referees like to be different).
Despite me working very hard for 4 decisions, (1 debatable one remember!), I am not tired. I want to be tired! I need to go to bed, I've got an interview in the morning for that BP job and then I'm not going to sleep for the weekend coming! I'm getting ruined! Another £23 in the wallet however for the trip, which is equivalent to 23 vodka red bulls on the friday night. I struggle to be excited for the trip at the moment because I am slightly nervous about this interview.. If I don't get a job a 4 year old could do, I am officially screwed and I may aswell go and sell myself to the scientists.
An advert has just come up on Spotify advertising for ugly people for their beauty contest. Officially the strangest thing I've ever heard, except for any time CW opens his mouth.
Anyway, Manchester. I'm not expecting fireworks. The first couple of times I went the expectation was huge and I'm happy to say the reality lived up to the expectation! Hopefully this weekend will go beyond my expectation because now I'm sort of used to it! I'm not saying it will be rubbish, it will probably be amazing! However, I don't think it will be as good as the last couple of times. I may do something controversial.. make it interesting if things get boring! And then get stabbed outside the Manchester BBC centre by some Asian boot-shiner with a machete. I'd regret it though coming back on the train in a canvas bodybag. Waste of a first-class ticket aswell! It cost less!
Besides, I have an interview to get through first! I have thought about the answers I'm going to say as I've had enough interviews now to know what questions they ask. I'll be happy to find out if I got the job fairly swiftly so I can enjoy my weekend in style and not worry about spending all the money!
Right. I won't be updating until ... Monday night probably to give you a step by step account of Manchester events, if I'm not in a body bag. I'll be having fun. I hope you do!
Toodles x
Despite me working very hard for 4 decisions, (1 debatable one remember!), I am not tired. I want to be tired! I need to go to bed, I've got an interview in the morning for that BP job and then I'm not going to sleep for the weekend coming! I'm getting ruined! Another £23 in the wallet however for the trip, which is equivalent to 23 vodka red bulls on the friday night. I struggle to be excited for the trip at the moment because I am slightly nervous about this interview.. If I don't get a job a 4 year old could do, I am officially screwed and I may aswell go and sell myself to the scientists.
An advert has just come up on Spotify advertising for ugly people for their beauty contest. Officially the strangest thing I've ever heard, except for any time CW opens his mouth.
Anyway, Manchester. I'm not expecting fireworks. The first couple of times I went the expectation was huge and I'm happy to say the reality lived up to the expectation! Hopefully this weekend will go beyond my expectation because now I'm sort of used to it! I'm not saying it will be rubbish, it will probably be amazing! However, I don't think it will be as good as the last couple of times. I may do something controversial.. make it interesting if things get boring! And then get stabbed outside the Manchester BBC centre by some Asian boot-shiner with a machete. I'd regret it though coming back on the train in a canvas bodybag. Waste of a first-class ticket aswell! It cost less!
Besides, I have an interview to get through first! I have thought about the answers I'm going to say as I've had enough interviews now to know what questions they ask. I'll be happy to find out if I got the job fairly swiftly so I can enjoy my weekend in style and not worry about spending all the money!
Right. I won't be updating until ... Monday night probably to give you a step by step account of Manchester events, if I'm not in a body bag. I'll be having fun. I hope you do!
Toodles x
Wednesday 17 March 2010
Generosity a Plenty
Generosity is in the air ladies and gentleman. Despite times of hardness, friends and family are always there to help out and treat you. Today for example. Kettle bought me a garlic pizza bread, which is one of the nicest things on the planet at the moment, and also a pint of Fosters at the pub later on. Plus Colin also got me a drink! Both knew full well I couldn't get them one, and I felt a little sheepish and guilty because of it, but I'll pay them back. With the promised curry! My nan also gave me £10 to go to the Manchester fund, however, I don't think she can afford to. She doesn't really know what she's doing, but I have no choice to accept it because it may offend her and make things worse! People's generosity, in times of hard, are great. Take the whole human race as an example. The amount of money raised for Haiti was epic and we are all generous when it comes to people in hard times. My situation cannot be compared to those people in Haiti, mainly because my situation is much worse, but the point I'm making is although it may look as if people are all in it for themselves, a soft side comes through when the time asks for it.
I've got a busy-ish next couple of days. Tomorrow evening I'm refereeing down in Kempston, (a.k.a Hell's younger brother), gaining money which is always a positive. I'm looking forward to tomorrow because I enjoy refereeing under floodlights. I haven't done it very often, (once..), but that one time was fantastic and I felt European! Friday morning. I have an interview for that night-shift job at BP. Now, I do want this job. Quite frankly, a night shift job allows me to do what I want in the day and leaves me open for the upcoming cricket season which I cannot wait for. Ok, some sleep will be needed, but if I get in at 6.30 ... 6-7 hours sleep ... wake up at half 1.. I'll have the whole day! Result! Also, I want a social life now and a car and I owe people a few things so it would be cool to get all that out of the way. I hope the interview goes well.. After that of course, off to Manchester to see Beddoe! Me and Colin have a plan Beddoe! ;)
Ok, I'm off. Apologies for the rather short posts. I'm suffering from a bloggler's version of writer's block and can't think of anything inspirational or depressing to say. I'll speak to you all tomorrow, after my match. Watch out Beddoe!
Bye x
I've got a busy-ish next couple of days. Tomorrow evening I'm refereeing down in Kempston, (a.k.a Hell's younger brother), gaining money which is always a positive. I'm looking forward to tomorrow because I enjoy refereeing under floodlights. I haven't done it very often, (once..), but that one time was fantastic and I felt European! Friday morning. I have an interview for that night-shift job at BP. Now, I do want this job. Quite frankly, a night shift job allows me to do what I want in the day and leaves me open for the upcoming cricket season which I cannot wait for. Ok, some sleep will be needed, but if I get in at 6.30 ... 6-7 hours sleep ... wake up at half 1.. I'll have the whole day! Result! Also, I want a social life now and a car and I owe people a few things so it would be cool to get all that out of the way. I hope the interview goes well.. After that of course, off to Manchester to see Beddoe! Me and Colin have a plan Beddoe! ;)
Ok, I'm off. Apologies for the rather short posts. I'm suffering from a bloggler's version of writer's block and can't think of anything inspirational or depressing to say. I'll speak to you all tomorrow, after my match. Watch out Beddoe!
Bye x
Words Speak Louder Than Actions
I thought they had given up, but it turns out, even though I am likely to get this night-shift job, (yep - i'm confident!), the rents want one more rant at me before I start earning again. Same old stuff aswell.. Why am I doing nothing with my days? Why am I still asleep at midday? Because I want to be! Now fuck off! I didn't say that.. I nearly did though.
I have been in a strange musical mood the last few days. My Spotify playlist, now plagued by a wide range of adverts including Teaching courses, (ironically), Vending machines and the usual gay Shockwave man, now resembles a Eurovision Song Contest as it has many european songs in. Not all from the ESC, although some of them are, it just generally sounds wierd and matches my mood for the week. I'm looking forward to Manchester on Friday but I have an interview to attend that morning so hopefully that goes well before I jet off for the night life. Or train off... Besides, I'd walk to Manchester to see Beddoe get wasted and drown. I laugh every time. And then there's Colin who claims to be the "sensible heavyweight" although he gives the feathers a run for their money when it comes to drinking. We're all lightweights which makes for a more entertaining night or 2 no? Should be good. And I have a reasonable amount of money, although less than I had hoped for.
What else? A couple of ridiculous job applications including a trainee Cabin Crew member. I was bored and I know I didn't fit the requirements, (such as having a sea-recovery certificate and a valid passport... no, I'm not an immigrant...), but you never know. They may get desperate. Also, a job found by CW or his mate, get paid to eat more. Literally crazy. Nothing will come from them, but it's amusing none the less!
I want my Mittenmobile back! :( It's gathering dust in the garage and I just want to go out for a spin! The temptation is huge! Hopefully, it will be back on its feet, (or wheels), soon!
That's all for now. I'll keep you updated!
Cya x
I have been in a strange musical mood the last few days. My Spotify playlist, now plagued by a wide range of adverts including Teaching courses, (ironically), Vending machines and the usual gay Shockwave man, now resembles a Eurovision Song Contest as it has many european songs in. Not all from the ESC, although some of them are, it just generally sounds wierd and matches my mood for the week. I'm looking forward to Manchester on Friday but I have an interview to attend that morning so hopefully that goes well before I jet off for the night life. Or train off... Besides, I'd walk to Manchester to see Beddoe get wasted and drown. I laugh every time. And then there's Colin who claims to be the "sensible heavyweight" although he gives the feathers a run for their money when it comes to drinking. We're all lightweights which makes for a more entertaining night or 2 no? Should be good. And I have a reasonable amount of money, although less than I had hoped for.
What else? A couple of ridiculous job applications including a trainee Cabin Crew member. I was bored and I know I didn't fit the requirements, (such as having a sea-recovery certificate and a valid passport... no, I'm not an immigrant...), but you never know. They may get desperate. Also, a job found by CW or his mate, get paid to eat more. Literally crazy. Nothing will come from them, but it's amusing none the less!
I want my Mittenmobile back! :( It's gathering dust in the garage and I just want to go out for a spin! The temptation is huge! Hopefully, it will be back on its feet, (or wheels), soon!
That's all for now. I'll keep you updated!
Cya x
Sunday 14 March 2010
Hero To Sort of Villain
I wanted to be the hero on Football Sunday and my wish came true. Although the game should never have really reached penalties, (we conceded an 86th minute equaliser for 2-2), in hindsight, I'm glad it did, as I saved 3 out of their 4 penalties to win us the tie! We move on to the final on 23rd April, which is a Friday... and I have to experience all of those nerves all over again!
There was no reason to be nervous. Once the game started, the nerves were replaced with adrenaline. I didn't have a lot to do all match. I made one very very good double save and a couple of 1v1's, (I even injured their pacey striker!), but otherwise I watched on as my team mates put in 150% to the cause. They did very well to keep their nerve in the penalty shoot-out aswell and I feel like I shouldn't really get all the credit! That's my last game for a couple of weeks as I have declared myself unavailable for next Sunday! Manchester people!
Anyway, I was a hero. Exactly what I had dreamt the night before whilst staring into space pointlessly trying to sleep. I didn't really have butterflies in my stomach. More like otters or badgers. The trouble with a match going to 30 minutes worth of extra-time and penalties is that we didn't get away from the place until 1.20. I had a match to referee at 2pm. Usually, you are supposed to be there half an hour before kick off, however, this was impossible. I got changed in the car on the way there and, after experiencing a tension-filled, adrenaline-busting semi final, had to don the black shirt and referee. It was tougher than I imagined. It took me a while to get into the game and the players were gobby little shits. I stamped down on the game with a couple of yellows however and things calmed down.
I had a good game. Another red card, for a 2nd yellow, there didn't seem to be many complaints. I was about to blow for full-time. I thought to myself what a successful day it had been. Just at that moment, the ball was booted, "route one", over the top to the Clapham striker. He was through on goal.. I was struggling to get a good angle. The striker goes round the keeper and is clipped by him. I hear screams of "PENALTY!" ... I wave play on ... what am I doing? That was a penalty and a red card for the keeper... why am I shouting "Play on!" What am I doing? ... 20 seconds later, I blow up for full time, knowing what was coming. Outraged players came up to me complaining. I didn't hear anything specific as there were so many voices. I knew I was wrong. Humans make mistakes! But that put a slight dampener on an otherwise very good day..
I rang the manager afterwards and apologised. He accepted the apology, even if it was a disgruntled acknowledgement and just put the phone down. I take my refereeing seriously and a mistake like that could cost that team the league. It finished 1-1. If we had lost this morning, followed by that mistake in the afternoon, I would be in a deep state of depression right now. That win this morning brightens things up a whole lot more however, and I'm determind to forget my fatal mistake and move on. Mistakes happen right?
5 days till Manchester. That time comes around quickly!
Laters x
There was no reason to be nervous. Once the game started, the nerves were replaced with adrenaline. I didn't have a lot to do all match. I made one very very good double save and a couple of 1v1's, (I even injured their pacey striker!), but otherwise I watched on as my team mates put in 150% to the cause. They did very well to keep their nerve in the penalty shoot-out aswell and I feel like I shouldn't really get all the credit! That's my last game for a couple of weeks as I have declared myself unavailable for next Sunday! Manchester people!
Anyway, I was a hero. Exactly what I had dreamt the night before whilst staring into space pointlessly trying to sleep. I didn't really have butterflies in my stomach. More like otters or badgers. The trouble with a match going to 30 minutes worth of extra-time and penalties is that we didn't get away from the place until 1.20. I had a match to referee at 2pm. Usually, you are supposed to be there half an hour before kick off, however, this was impossible. I got changed in the car on the way there and, after experiencing a tension-filled, adrenaline-busting semi final, had to don the black shirt and referee. It was tougher than I imagined. It took me a while to get into the game and the players were gobby little shits. I stamped down on the game with a couple of yellows however and things calmed down.
I had a good game. Another red card, for a 2nd yellow, there didn't seem to be many complaints. I was about to blow for full-time. I thought to myself what a successful day it had been. Just at that moment, the ball was booted, "route one", over the top to the Clapham striker. He was through on goal.. I was struggling to get a good angle. The striker goes round the keeper and is clipped by him. I hear screams of "PENALTY!" ... I wave play on ... what am I doing? That was a penalty and a red card for the keeper... why am I shouting "Play on!" What am I doing? ... 20 seconds later, I blow up for full time, knowing what was coming. Outraged players came up to me complaining. I didn't hear anything specific as there were so many voices. I knew I was wrong. Humans make mistakes! But that put a slight dampener on an otherwise very good day..
I rang the manager afterwards and apologised. He accepted the apology, even if it was a disgruntled acknowledgement and just put the phone down. I take my refereeing seriously and a mistake like that could cost that team the league. It finished 1-1. If we had lost this morning, followed by that mistake in the afternoon, I would be in a deep state of depression right now. That win this morning brightens things up a whole lot more however, and I'm determind to forget my fatal mistake and move on. Mistakes happen right?
5 days till Manchester. That time comes around quickly!
Laters x
Saturday 13 March 2010
Nervous Wreck
Truth be told I am very nervous about tomorrow. Mainly due to the fact we're playing in a cup semi-final, (imagine my nerves if we got to the final!) and I am just scared I'll make a howler in the 89th minute with the score at 1-1 .. Massimo Taibi stylee! The whole squad is very up for it though and hopefully things will go our way.
Aswell as that, it's Mothers Day. I'm not so much nervous about it, just I feel the need to write a huge essay in the card and I'm useless at writing sentimental and loving messages in cards. It never sounds right and always sounds fake when I write it. We had a nice meal though, despite waiting the best part of an hour to get placed because the whole world and their Mum were there. Nice food though and the conversation regarding heavyweight ants and yellow chinese people was amusing enough. I know full well I was sitting there with a glum face though. Everyone else around me seemed to have the perfect life and was out enjoying themselves, I just know I don't and therefore, can't.
My laptop just went berserk so I shut it down and restarted. This thing is about as sick as a parrot with AIDS and Leprosy.
Refereed again this morning. Mostly for the money, (£20 to the Manchester fund!), but it gives you something to do on a saturday afternoon doesn't it! Was highly uneventful, the only incident being dealing with a striker who had the mental age of a 5 year old.. despite that, it was generally boring. I took the money and ran.
I'm going to shake some more. I am genuinely terrified! A small part of me wants us to not reach the final so I don't have to feel these nerves again! I want to be the hero...
Bye x
Aswell as that, it's Mothers Day. I'm not so much nervous about it, just I feel the need to write a huge essay in the card and I'm useless at writing sentimental and loving messages in cards. It never sounds right and always sounds fake when I write it. We had a nice meal though, despite waiting the best part of an hour to get placed because the whole world and their Mum were there. Nice food though and the conversation regarding heavyweight ants and yellow chinese people was amusing enough. I know full well I was sitting there with a glum face though. Everyone else around me seemed to have the perfect life and was out enjoying themselves, I just know I don't and therefore, can't.
My laptop just went berserk so I shut it down and restarted. This thing is about as sick as a parrot with AIDS and Leprosy.
Refereed again this morning. Mostly for the money, (£20 to the Manchester fund!), but it gives you something to do on a saturday afternoon doesn't it! Was highly uneventful, the only incident being dealing with a striker who had the mental age of a 5 year old.. despite that, it was generally boring. I took the money and ran.
I'm going to shake some more. I am genuinely terrified! A small part of me wants us to not reach the final so I don't have to feel these nerves again! I want to be the hero...
Bye x
Friday 12 March 2010
Back on The Road to Mandalin
Mandalin being a job. Today has been highly frustrating. I got a phone call at exactly 8:19 this morning asking me to ask a temp job for 9 am till 5. They described it as "data entry and admin". I knew it was going to be boring but I needED the money for Manchester as I found out that £45 of the fund will not be coming in time. So, I got up, so quickly that I had to sit back down again because my head started spinning, and walked/ran to this place 20 minutes away to start a boring day's work. As I was power-walking my way there, I wondered how much I was getting paid per hour... £6-00 was my guess. Not so bad. I got there. They said, "do this" and I did it. The hours rolled by at the pace of a snail in slow motion and at 2pm... the knockout blow. Transcript below:
Employee: So you want to be in an office environment do you?
Me: (sort of lying) Yeah you know, if you have a laugh while working, the days just fly by you know. (Bear in mind, these guys were about as boring as Gordon Brown injecting Boredom.)
Employee: Ok cool. Apparently there are about 30 people taking part in this Voluntary Project. I was surprised by the turn out.
Me: Voluntary Project?
Employee: Yeah.. you didn't know about it?
Me: No..
Employee: Yeah, a project for 16-24 year olds to "acclimatise to an office environment". You didn't think you were getting paid to do this did you?
Me: No.. no of course not. Ok if I go on my lunch?
Where did I go you may ask? Home. Fuck me if I'm going to waste my time photocopying blank pieces of paper a million times before scanning that empty piece of paper into an empty computer folder. I was fuming. Well, fuming and very very sad. Hence my quick note of an entry earlier. Part of that note was true mind you. I'll get to that. I had spent 5 hours, (without a lunch break as that was due at 2pm), doing trivial and mindless, monotonous jobs for completely nothing. I got a phone call from the recruitment agency and they shouted at me for not completing the day, so I shouted at them for not telling me the whole truth, then hung up. I still think they're expecting me to go in tomorrow. There's more chance of that happening than me getting a job as the Chief Executive of BP. Talking of BP, I may have a night-shift job coming up there.. (I may have mentioned it already?) I'll keep you posted.
As for earlier, I have been lying to myself. And you. My depression has been better recently but I've still got a long road to travel if I am to completely get over it. The note earlier was just me venting my frustration at the days events, but I won't delete it. It shows that I have stages of up and down and I think it's important you know that even the smallest of things can change my mood from very good to very bad. It's the way of the depression.
On to a lighter mood, I have recently got a music program called Spotify on my laptop. Most of you should be aware of this program, and apart from letting you play any song you like for free, they play the most annoying adverts in history from Shockwave. I was so "angered" that I sent a sarcastic e-mail to them displaying my apparent anger and shock at such an advert. If you would like to see it. Ask.
Big weekend of football coming up so I will update you on that soon. As for you lot, have a good weekend. As usual, I trust that you will.
Cheerio x
Employee: So you want to be in an office environment do you?
Me: (sort of lying) Yeah you know, if you have a laugh while working, the days just fly by you know. (Bear in mind, these guys were about as boring as Gordon Brown injecting Boredom.)
Employee: Ok cool. Apparently there are about 30 people taking part in this Voluntary Project. I was surprised by the turn out.
Me: Voluntary Project?
Employee: Yeah.. you didn't know about it?
Me: No..
Employee: Yeah, a project for 16-24 year olds to "acclimatise to an office environment". You didn't think you were getting paid to do this did you?
Me: No.. no of course not. Ok if I go on my lunch?
Where did I go you may ask? Home. Fuck me if I'm going to waste my time photocopying blank pieces of paper a million times before scanning that empty piece of paper into an empty computer folder. I was fuming. Well, fuming and very very sad. Hence my quick note of an entry earlier. Part of that note was true mind you. I'll get to that. I had spent 5 hours, (without a lunch break as that was due at 2pm), doing trivial and mindless, monotonous jobs for completely nothing. I got a phone call from the recruitment agency and they shouted at me for not completing the day, so I shouted at them for not telling me the whole truth, then hung up. I still think they're expecting me to go in tomorrow. There's more chance of that happening than me getting a job as the Chief Executive of BP. Talking of BP, I may have a night-shift job coming up there.. (I may have mentioned it already?) I'll keep you posted.
As for earlier, I have been lying to myself. And you. My depression has been better recently but I've still got a long road to travel if I am to completely get over it. The note earlier was just me venting my frustration at the days events, but I won't delete it. It shows that I have stages of up and down and I think it's important you know that even the smallest of things can change my mood from very good to very bad. It's the way of the depression.
On to a lighter mood, I have recently got a music program called Spotify on my laptop. Most of you should be aware of this program, and apart from letting you play any song you like for free, they play the most annoying adverts in history from Shockwave. I was so "angered" that I sent a sarcastic e-mail to them displaying my apparent anger and shock at such an advert. If you would like to see it. Ask.
Big weekend of football coming up so I will update you on that soon. As for you lot, have a good weekend. As usual, I trust that you will.
Cheerio x
Thursday 11 March 2010
Lying to Myself
I've been lying to myself. I thought that if I would say it enough times, act like I was OK and tell people I had recovered, I actually would. Even this honest and trustworthy blog has been full of lies. I'm no better than I was a year ago. I'm going to be like this forever.
I'm in no mood to bore you all to death with a load of shit about nothing, so I'm going to go and do nothing and think nothing.
I'm in no mood to bore you all to death with a load of shit about nothing, so I'm going to go and do nothing and think nothing.
Wednesday 10 March 2010
Is It This Easy...? (2)
Get help. Don't be ashamed of needing medication, and don't give up until you find something that helps.Identify your feelings and moods. Depression is a self-destructive effort to avoid feeling. Accept that emotions are natural and helpful. Learn that mood changes don't come "out of the blue" — they are always started by an event, a memory, a dream..
Challenge depressed thinking. People with depression remember and blame themselves for bad events, while they forget about and give others credit for good events. Their low expectations mean they often don't prepare adequately and give up too easily. Worst, they think they are essentially different — damaged somehow — from other people. These are all learned habits of thought that can be unlearned.
Pay attention to your assumptions and beliefs.Let others know. Depressives fear intimacy more than most people. We put on masks for the world, because we believe our true selves to be shameful, unworthy. But this belief is wrong. When we're with someone we can trust, sharing our thoughts and feelings — even if they seem unimportant — is good for us.
Practice detachment. We spend far too much time and effort trying to control things that aren't worth the struggle. Many things that worry us are really unimportant; we've just gotten overinvolved and lost our bearings. We may find that we're trying to change things that we realistically cannot change. Instead of battering your head against a brick wall, learn to walk away.
Did I do this? Yes.
Is it easy? No. It isn't easy. It's probably the hardest thing to overcome.
But you will recover.
I have. I'm finally content. Finally.
Challenge depressed thinking. People with depression remember and blame themselves for bad events, while they forget about and give others credit for good events. Their low expectations mean they often don't prepare adequately and give up too easily. Worst, they think they are essentially different — damaged somehow — from other people. These are all learned habits of thought that can be unlearned.
Pay attention to your assumptions and beliefs.Let others know. Depressives fear intimacy more than most people. We put on masks for the world, because we believe our true selves to be shameful, unworthy. But this belief is wrong. When we're with someone we can trust, sharing our thoughts and feelings — even if they seem unimportant — is good for us.
Practice detachment. We spend far too much time and effort trying to control things that aren't worth the struggle. Many things that worry us are really unimportant; we've just gotten overinvolved and lost our bearings. We may find that we're trying to change things that we realistically cannot change. Instead of battering your head against a brick wall, learn to walk away.
Did I do this? Yes.
Is it easy? No. It isn't easy. It's probably the hardest thing to overcome.
But you will recover.
I have. I'm finally content. Finally.
Fisotyp
Yeah OK OK I'll give you another (small) blog entry seeing as I didn't give you one on Monday, you blog-following freaks! The title by the way is an anagram of something. Answer at the bottom of this entry.
Job-hunting may well come to a close soon. Sort of. My chances of getting this night shift job at BP, although unglamorous, I reckon is quite high seeing as Saggers is apparently doing his level best to get me the job. It's a night shift job, which, as I've been told so many times, "suits me" as I cannot stand early starts. So I'll have a late one instead! At least if I do get the job I can get the Mittenmobile back on the road and start having some money again! Something I have missed a lot! I would still be job-hunting though as working at BP isn't exactly my career aspiration. I may not know what I want to do, but that is not it! So i'll look for the "perfect" job still whilst working there. I feel things are falling into place.
This evening, went to Kettle's thrashed him at FIFA, he thrashed me using Mayfair and I added his Dad on facebook! Good times! I got back and discovered something grrreat! (as that Tiger says..)
Answer: Spotify
Cya x
Job-hunting may well come to a close soon. Sort of. My chances of getting this night shift job at BP, although unglamorous, I reckon is quite high seeing as Saggers is apparently doing his level best to get me the job. It's a night shift job, which, as I've been told so many times, "suits me" as I cannot stand early starts. So I'll have a late one instead! At least if I do get the job I can get the Mittenmobile back on the road and start having some money again! Something I have missed a lot! I would still be job-hunting though as working at BP isn't exactly my career aspiration. I may not know what I want to do, but that is not it! So i'll look for the "perfect" job still whilst working there. I feel things are falling into place.
This evening, went to Kettle's thrashed him at FIFA, he thrashed me using Mayfair and I added his Dad on facebook! Good times! I got back and discovered something grrreat! (as that Tiger says..)
Answer: Spotify
Cya x
Tuesday 9 March 2010
Pub Anyone?
Thing is, after last night's rather needless and pointless Referee Cup Final Appointment Evening, which usually takes an hour and a half after some needless and pointless talk on the role of the 4th official, (which actually would of been a bit useful as I got that appointment this year), the organisers told us that after we got our fixtures, we could do what we wanted. So we did what any normal person would do. We went to the pub.
Only 3 of us mind you but it was still a good laugh with the Dassman and Robbie Hyde. I got my customary pint of Fosters from the barman who looked like a mix between Kryten from Red Dwarf and one of the Hairy Bikers and sat down just as Wigan scored what turned out to be the only goal in their game against the red half of Scouserville. We had a good chat about our appointments, the night life in Leighton and Bedford, (which didn't last very long), cricket and certain goings-on at the Beds FA. Turns out all 3 of us have loads of things in common and I really enjoyed that hour and a bit at the pub. Better than listening to some old dude talk about controlling the technical areas at least..
My appointment was as expected. I'd already had a middle and a line from the last 2 county cup finals so I needed a 4th official to complete the set! My cup final is on Weds 31st March @ Langford FC, (not LONGFORD kettle :P) - 7.30pm kick off. I look forward to it!
My matches on the now fabled Football Sunday were not bad. We got a 2-2 draw in our game in the morning which turned out to be a fair enough result against a fairly good football-playing side. One of the very few teams in our league who get the ball down and play and not just beat their way through teams physically. We seem to be faltering lately and once again, the attitude of my teammates is getting on my nerves. Expecting to win every week and then moaning when we don't just proves the immaturity in our team. We need a few experienced heads in there who can bring our team back down to Earth. Besides, after our discussion in the pub last night, I've changed my plan altogether and now plan to go for promotion next season in refereeing. Apparently, despite the deadline for consideration being the 1st March, this has been extended due to "unforeseen events" at the Beds FA. My mind is made up. I'm not playing football next season.
Talking of refereeing, I had yet another red card in Sunday's Under-17 PM fixture which takes my tally to 9 in 4 games.. That red card of mine will want expenses for the amount of time its spent in the air.. It is completely ridiculous!
So, that's that. Turns out I made a bit of an announcement there, but I'm not going to progress in refereeing if I don't take steps now. I look forward to the challenge! What have you done today to make you feel proud?
Ciao x
Only 3 of us mind you but it was still a good laugh with the Dassman and Robbie Hyde. I got my customary pint of Fosters from the barman who looked like a mix between Kryten from Red Dwarf and one of the Hairy Bikers and sat down just as Wigan scored what turned out to be the only goal in their game against the red half of Scouserville. We had a good chat about our appointments, the night life in Leighton and Bedford, (which didn't last very long), cricket and certain goings-on at the Beds FA. Turns out all 3 of us have loads of things in common and I really enjoyed that hour and a bit at the pub. Better than listening to some old dude talk about controlling the technical areas at least..
My appointment was as expected. I'd already had a middle and a line from the last 2 county cup finals so I needed a 4th official to complete the set! My cup final is on Weds 31st March @ Langford FC, (not LONGFORD kettle :P) - 7.30pm kick off. I look forward to it!
My matches on the now fabled Football Sunday were not bad. We got a 2-2 draw in our game in the morning which turned out to be a fair enough result against a fairly good football-playing side. One of the very few teams in our league who get the ball down and play and not just beat their way through teams physically. We seem to be faltering lately and once again, the attitude of my teammates is getting on my nerves. Expecting to win every week and then moaning when we don't just proves the immaturity in our team. We need a few experienced heads in there who can bring our team back down to Earth. Besides, after our discussion in the pub last night, I've changed my plan altogether and now plan to go for promotion next season in refereeing. Apparently, despite the deadline for consideration being the 1st March, this has been extended due to "unforeseen events" at the Beds FA. My mind is made up. I'm not playing football next season.
Talking of refereeing, I had yet another red card in Sunday's Under-17 PM fixture which takes my tally to 9 in 4 games.. That red card of mine will want expenses for the amount of time its spent in the air.. It is completely ridiculous!
So, that's that. Turns out I made a bit of an announcement there, but I'm not going to progress in refereeing if I don't take steps now. I look forward to the challenge! What have you done today to make you feel proud?
Ciao x
Sunday 7 March 2010
Memories and Memoirs
My life has been fairly eventful and it's hard to believe I've only lived 18 years, 9 months and 17 days.. I've had a fair few experiences in my time, gained and lost friends, broken a nose and gone through the "bad man" stage, luckily when I was fairly young.. It's been good fun!
I went to Hazeldene Lower School. We had a bitter rivalry with Hills because the schools were next to each other and we used to spend our lunchtimes chucking crazybones over the road at the Hills Lower School kids when we were 8 and then stopped as they became "all the rage". In my mind, it was just a bit of what we'd now call, "banter", though I believe some kids from both sides really took the mental battles very seriously. Things came to a stop eventually though when a Hills Lower School kid nearly got hit by a Lexus while attempting to cross the road. That taught us a lesson and I went back to playing football like a normal kid. Either that, or swinging on the monkey bars and walking up the beam we had on the very solid concrete playground. I found out it was actually fairly hard when I landed face first after slipping off the monkey bars on a damp October day. These days, Health and Safety would be all over that, but this was 1998 and Tony Blair was too busy planning his invasion of Kosovo. Even I knew that at the time and I was only 7. When I wasn't outside causing havoc amongst the Year 4's defence with my blistering skills, I was inside, learning. It was a school after all. I distinctly remember throwing a ruler at someone but Ms.Proctor, our English teacher, (and also our Maths, Science, Geography, Music and P.E teacher), was too busy talking to the wall. Literally. She was always a bit barmy that lady.. Another person I spent a lot of time with at Hazeldene was a lady called Mrs.Dent. I have never found out what her first name was.. When I was young I had trouble with word pronunciation, (although I never said that word at the time..) so I spent most of the time when everyone else was in assembly to work on my R's and S's with Mrs Dent. One day, I came out of my special class to go out to break and there was no one in sight. I thought a nuclear bomb had struck without me noticing. However, the whole school had been kept behind in assembly for talking too much so I had the whole playground to myself! Bagsy the Monkey Bars!
During this time, I was developing a friendship with a couple of people who lived down my road. Carl, (who is still a friend of mine these days) and a younger chappy called Rhys. Technically, Carl lived down the alleyway but me and Rhys lived opposite each other, and still do, but back in the day, when I wasn't allowed down the alleyway to go and play on the green in fear of peadophiles, me and Rhys played our made-up game on the street. Entitled 'Man U vs Inter Milan', we'd always re-enact a champions league final that had never happened. I was always Inter because I had a fascination with Fat Ronaldo and his teeth.. His garage would be his goal and my garage would be mine.. They were fairly large for children of our age but we were not bothered. Providing the commentary as we played our 1v1 game, dodging in and out of speeding Lotus', (I'm only joking of course), we played out the full 90 minutes and usually it would end up going to penalties. Then I'd let him win, because he was younger and we'd all be happy. Just as long as Fat Ronaldo wound up with a double hat-trick by the end of normal time.. However, you can only play on the street for so long and the time had come where I was allowed to walk down the smallest alleyway in living history to go and play on stuff called "grass". I was fascinated. Me, Carl and Rhys usually played 'Knockout', with me in goal as I loved it and it was great fun. Sometimes things got a bit heated and arguments broke out about whether Rhys had scored 4 or 5 goals, but most of the time it was fantastic! Sometimes though, as is usually the case with field football, the ball goes over someone's wall and as the ball was the special World Cup 2002 ball worth £60, I was the one who had to climb over to get it.. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not a bad climber but imagine the reaction of this poor person as he sees a mud-caked 11 year old climb over his wall and nick a ball before climbing back over again... I ended up doing it twice and the 2nd time he hit me with one of those fly-swatters as I climbed back over...
When we weren't playing football, we were being young morons and playing knock-knock ginger and when we had got bored of running away, we played a similar game called 'Garden Gnomes'.. Now, for those of you not familiar with 'Garden Gnomes', its basically the same as knock-knock ginger, except you don't run away and instead, hide behind the wall or a tree of some sort and when the victim opens the door, you chant a chorus of, "We're your gnomes, your lovely friendly gnomes", before pelting it! At the time it was very funny for 12 year olds but I imagine it wasn't the best of experiences for the people we played the prank on.. Those were the days...
Going back a year or two before that, I had experienced my first ever Champions League Final as a Man Utd fan. The amazing year of 1999 was the year for all United fans. Every Red Devils fan around the world was glued to their TV screens as Carsten Jancker bulleted in a free kick 6 minutes in. Except me. I had been grounded for stealing £8.50 out of my Dad's wallet to buy a pre-owned version of Rayman 2 for the PS1.. I knew it was wrong but everyone else was already on the 4th world and I couldn't bear to see them get further away.. releasing all those cute little animals along the way.. So I was locked up in my bedroom, listening to a bad signal on the radio, (I didn't yet have a TV in my room) while listening to my dad's shout at the TV below telling Jaap Stam to "get his act together!" Thankfully, after 75 minutes of play, my Dad felt his son should witness what he said was going to be the "most famous comeback in Champions League history". He was right. Until Liverpool in 2005 anyway... I went ballistic as Teddy Sheringham slotted away a 90th minute equaliser before watching Ole Solskjaer prod in a 93rd minute winner and running up and down the street, whooping with delight. I was delighted. But not as delighted as Dad who was literally crying.. It was the first time I had ever seen my Dad cry..
One of my most favourite places on Earth was the lovely and family-friendly, Torquay. Most of our summer holidays were spent in the Devon seaside town and some of my fondest memories lie in that place. From when I was 6 and the go-kart incident where I felt like a film star being filmed by Dad and his video camera. Incidentally, that's where the phrase, "Can you see me?" became a legendary phrase amongst the Carr family. Everyone else who hears it are like, "Hey?" Anyway, we used to stay at a leisure complex, TLH Leisure Resorts, Victoria Hotel, Room 115, just a small walk down the corridor to the humungous dining room, every year. Once they tried to put us in some dark and loud room on the 2nd floor but we were having none of it and within 2 days we were back where we belonged. The family room. Room 115. This complex had everything. 4 swimming pools, tennis courts, a cricket pitch, it's own little pitch and putt, a full-size football pitch, indoor bowls, 3 arcades, ten-pin bowling by the dozen and a special 'Aztec' zone. I never went in there, I was too busy fuelling my gambling habit on the Italian Job slot machine. One year, in 2004 if I remember correctly, the Italian Job machine was clearly broken because I won Jackpot with every spin. Literally every spin. I walked home with my jeans nearly round my ankles because the pockets were full to the brim with pound coins. I had won £85 so gave it all to my parents and said, "Break even." Lovely! Torquay holds some of my greatest memories and I would love to go back there in the future to re-live them.
Sport has always been a huge part of my life. Football especially. I used to play for a team called Bedford Park Rangers and I always looked forward to tour time. End of the season, we'd spend a weekend in some seaside resort. Weston-Super-Mare springs immediately to mind because we had 3 teams entered, Blues, Reds and Whites. For some reason, the manager wanted us to dye our hair in our team colours. Blue and Red look OK, if a bit wacky, but dying your hair white when you're 12 years old makes you look like a pensioner who has discovered a great anti-wrinkle cream. It was disastrous! Funny.. but disastrous! That particular trip held a lot of great memories for me. Such as the illegal BBQ we held on the final day. Dave 'Mad-Axe' Carr, as was his nickname, a.k.a My Dad, fired it up in the middle of a caravan site directly in front of the sign that specifically said 'NO BBQ's!' It was brilliant when the warden eventually came over to us, 3 hours after the BBQ had been put out and shouted at him. Also on this trip however, I discovered the opposite sex. I was in the swimming pool, when I saw this other girl wading towards me from the other end, she looked about the same age as me and she was very pretty. My eyes were fixed on her as she was coming towards me. She stopped next to me. "Are you using that surfboard?" .. "err.. no it's all yours!" .. "Thanks! Nice hair." I maintain that white/grey spray paint had ruined my chance with my first love! Those BPR tours were awesome and hold as many memories as my summer holidays to Torquay.
Being an avid sportsman though, brings with it a host of injuries. One day, I was 11 and we were holding our very own version of the British Grand Prix round the block. Me and Luke Gardener were battling for pole position in the penultimate lap. I remember giving it my all round the back straight of the course. We were moving at some speed when it came up to the dreaded bollards. 4 of them lined up, specifically placed as a hazard by the local council, me and Luke were fighting for a space that only fitted one bike. Who would get there first? He did... I went careering straight into the 3rd bollard and flew off my bike and landed nose-first on the tree-trunk ahead and then for good measure, my bike landed on top of me. I was covered, and I mean COVERED, in blood. Luke didn't care, he was about to get his maiden Grand Prix victory! Me though, I had a nose shaped like a pear and I seem to remember a knee I couldn't walk on. The other people in this "race" whizzed by, not a care in the world. What was happening? I shouted "Help me!" a lot of times and eventually an old man came out of his house and offered me a helping hand. By this stage, my white Man Utd away shirt looked more like their red home kit and my knee was hanging at a strange, acute angle. I was taken to A&E by Mum and a week later I was back on the football pitch, wearing a protective mask and incidentally scored 2 headers! A fair few years later, I became friends with the granddaughter of the old man who had helped me and it became an anecdote to tell on a rainy day.
At this stage, I was still friends with Carl and Rhys although I had many more friends by this stage. The threesome were becoming more drifted apart as Rhys became more "gangster" and spent most of his time trying to impress Carl, by bullying me. Now, I don't like confessing I was bullied by someone 2 years younger than me, but that was the case. Carl laughed along and I really wasn't very happy with it all. One day, it all got a little too much and I ended up giving Rhys a right hook before running home in tears. Later that evening, Rhys came round and apologised for provoking me and I refused to apologise back claming "he deserved everything he got". He had a huge black eye and just walked off. We never spoke again and the friendship group just collapsed. I remained friends with Carl, on and off, and we speak occasionally nowadays although he is busy getting his Law Degree at the moment. Always a nice chap was Carl and I maintain it was just children being stupid when he was laughing along with Rhys. I don't have time for people like Rhys these days though. They get on my nerves. My days as being the bad boy were done.
Since then, I have always tried my best to remain calm with people and not to go off the handle like I did the day I gave that, quite frankly, very good right hook. I try very hard to not get angry at people and since then I have only been properly angry only once. Once in 4 years. Not too bad. And even that angry episode was drink-fuelled and the only thing I punched was the Debenhams window at 4am. It hurt but it didn't cause any damage.
It's hard to get round the fact that I've only been alive for 18 years. I've got so much longer to live and many more experiences to .. experience. As Ronan Keating once said, Life is a Rollercoaster and you've just got to ride it.
I went to Hazeldene Lower School. We had a bitter rivalry with Hills because the schools were next to each other and we used to spend our lunchtimes chucking crazybones over the road at the Hills Lower School kids when we were 8 and then stopped as they became "all the rage". In my mind, it was just a bit of what we'd now call, "banter", though I believe some kids from both sides really took the mental battles very seriously. Things came to a stop eventually though when a Hills Lower School kid nearly got hit by a Lexus while attempting to cross the road. That taught us a lesson and I went back to playing football like a normal kid. Either that, or swinging on the monkey bars and walking up the beam we had on the very solid concrete playground. I found out it was actually fairly hard when I landed face first after slipping off the monkey bars on a damp October day. These days, Health and Safety would be all over that, but this was 1998 and Tony Blair was too busy planning his invasion of Kosovo. Even I knew that at the time and I was only 7. When I wasn't outside causing havoc amongst the Year 4's defence with my blistering skills, I was inside, learning. It was a school after all. I distinctly remember throwing a ruler at someone but Ms.Proctor, our English teacher, (and also our Maths, Science, Geography, Music and P.E teacher), was too busy talking to the wall. Literally. She was always a bit barmy that lady.. Another person I spent a lot of time with at Hazeldene was a lady called Mrs.Dent. I have never found out what her first name was.. When I was young I had trouble with word pronunciation, (although I never said that word at the time..) so I spent most of the time when everyone else was in assembly to work on my R's and S's with Mrs Dent. One day, I came out of my special class to go out to break and there was no one in sight. I thought a nuclear bomb had struck without me noticing. However, the whole school had been kept behind in assembly for talking too much so I had the whole playground to myself! Bagsy the Monkey Bars!
During this time, I was developing a friendship with a couple of people who lived down my road. Carl, (who is still a friend of mine these days) and a younger chappy called Rhys. Technically, Carl lived down the alleyway but me and Rhys lived opposite each other, and still do, but back in the day, when I wasn't allowed down the alleyway to go and play on the green in fear of peadophiles, me and Rhys played our made-up game on the street. Entitled 'Man U vs Inter Milan', we'd always re-enact a champions league final that had never happened. I was always Inter because I had a fascination with Fat Ronaldo and his teeth.. His garage would be his goal and my garage would be mine.. They were fairly large for children of our age but we were not bothered. Providing the commentary as we played our 1v1 game, dodging in and out of speeding Lotus', (I'm only joking of course), we played out the full 90 minutes and usually it would end up going to penalties. Then I'd let him win, because he was younger and we'd all be happy. Just as long as Fat Ronaldo wound up with a double hat-trick by the end of normal time.. However, you can only play on the street for so long and the time had come where I was allowed to walk down the smallest alleyway in living history to go and play on stuff called "grass". I was fascinated. Me, Carl and Rhys usually played 'Knockout', with me in goal as I loved it and it was great fun. Sometimes things got a bit heated and arguments broke out about whether Rhys had scored 4 or 5 goals, but most of the time it was fantastic! Sometimes though, as is usually the case with field football, the ball goes over someone's wall and as the ball was the special World Cup 2002 ball worth £60, I was the one who had to climb over to get it.. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not a bad climber but imagine the reaction of this poor person as he sees a mud-caked 11 year old climb over his wall and nick a ball before climbing back over again... I ended up doing it twice and the 2nd time he hit me with one of those fly-swatters as I climbed back over...
When we weren't playing football, we were being young morons and playing knock-knock ginger and when we had got bored of running away, we played a similar game called 'Garden Gnomes'.. Now, for those of you not familiar with 'Garden Gnomes', its basically the same as knock-knock ginger, except you don't run away and instead, hide behind the wall or a tree of some sort and when the victim opens the door, you chant a chorus of, "We're your gnomes, your lovely friendly gnomes", before pelting it! At the time it was very funny for 12 year olds but I imagine it wasn't the best of experiences for the people we played the prank on.. Those were the days...
Going back a year or two before that, I had experienced my first ever Champions League Final as a Man Utd fan. The amazing year of 1999 was the year for all United fans. Every Red Devils fan around the world was glued to their TV screens as Carsten Jancker bulleted in a free kick 6 minutes in. Except me. I had been grounded for stealing £8.50 out of my Dad's wallet to buy a pre-owned version of Rayman 2 for the PS1.. I knew it was wrong but everyone else was already on the 4th world and I couldn't bear to see them get further away.. releasing all those cute little animals along the way.. So I was locked up in my bedroom, listening to a bad signal on the radio, (I didn't yet have a TV in my room) while listening to my dad's shout at the TV below telling Jaap Stam to "get his act together!" Thankfully, after 75 minutes of play, my Dad felt his son should witness what he said was going to be the "most famous comeback in Champions League history". He was right. Until Liverpool in 2005 anyway... I went ballistic as Teddy Sheringham slotted away a 90th minute equaliser before watching Ole Solskjaer prod in a 93rd minute winner and running up and down the street, whooping with delight. I was delighted. But not as delighted as Dad who was literally crying.. It was the first time I had ever seen my Dad cry..
One of my most favourite places on Earth was the lovely and family-friendly, Torquay. Most of our summer holidays were spent in the Devon seaside town and some of my fondest memories lie in that place. From when I was 6 and the go-kart incident where I felt like a film star being filmed by Dad and his video camera. Incidentally, that's where the phrase, "Can you see me?" became a legendary phrase amongst the Carr family. Everyone else who hears it are like, "Hey?" Anyway, we used to stay at a leisure complex, TLH Leisure Resorts, Victoria Hotel, Room 115, just a small walk down the corridor to the humungous dining room, every year. Once they tried to put us in some dark and loud room on the 2nd floor but we were having none of it and within 2 days we were back where we belonged. The family room. Room 115. This complex had everything. 4 swimming pools, tennis courts, a cricket pitch, it's own little pitch and putt, a full-size football pitch, indoor bowls, 3 arcades, ten-pin bowling by the dozen and a special 'Aztec' zone. I never went in there, I was too busy fuelling my gambling habit on the Italian Job slot machine. One year, in 2004 if I remember correctly, the Italian Job machine was clearly broken because I won Jackpot with every spin. Literally every spin. I walked home with my jeans nearly round my ankles because the pockets were full to the brim with pound coins. I had won £85 so gave it all to my parents and said, "Break even." Lovely! Torquay holds some of my greatest memories and I would love to go back there in the future to re-live them.
Sport has always been a huge part of my life. Football especially. I used to play for a team called Bedford Park Rangers and I always looked forward to tour time. End of the season, we'd spend a weekend in some seaside resort. Weston-Super-Mare springs immediately to mind because we had 3 teams entered, Blues, Reds and Whites. For some reason, the manager wanted us to dye our hair in our team colours. Blue and Red look OK, if a bit wacky, but dying your hair white when you're 12 years old makes you look like a pensioner who has discovered a great anti-wrinkle cream. It was disastrous! Funny.. but disastrous! That particular trip held a lot of great memories for me. Such as the illegal BBQ we held on the final day. Dave 'Mad-Axe' Carr, as was his nickname, a.k.a My Dad, fired it up in the middle of a caravan site directly in front of the sign that specifically said 'NO BBQ's!' It was brilliant when the warden eventually came over to us, 3 hours after the BBQ had been put out and shouted at him. Also on this trip however, I discovered the opposite sex. I was in the swimming pool, when I saw this other girl wading towards me from the other end, she looked about the same age as me and she was very pretty. My eyes were fixed on her as she was coming towards me. She stopped next to me. "Are you using that surfboard?" .. "err.. no it's all yours!" .. "Thanks! Nice hair." I maintain that white/grey spray paint had ruined my chance with my first love! Those BPR tours were awesome and hold as many memories as my summer holidays to Torquay.
Being an avid sportsman though, brings with it a host of injuries. One day, I was 11 and we were holding our very own version of the British Grand Prix round the block. Me and Luke Gardener were battling for pole position in the penultimate lap. I remember giving it my all round the back straight of the course. We were moving at some speed when it came up to the dreaded bollards. 4 of them lined up, specifically placed as a hazard by the local council, me and Luke were fighting for a space that only fitted one bike. Who would get there first? He did... I went careering straight into the 3rd bollard and flew off my bike and landed nose-first on the tree-trunk ahead and then for good measure, my bike landed on top of me. I was covered, and I mean COVERED, in blood. Luke didn't care, he was about to get his maiden Grand Prix victory! Me though, I had a nose shaped like a pear and I seem to remember a knee I couldn't walk on. The other people in this "race" whizzed by, not a care in the world. What was happening? I shouted "Help me!" a lot of times and eventually an old man came out of his house and offered me a helping hand. By this stage, my white Man Utd away shirt looked more like their red home kit and my knee was hanging at a strange, acute angle. I was taken to A&E by Mum and a week later I was back on the football pitch, wearing a protective mask and incidentally scored 2 headers! A fair few years later, I became friends with the granddaughter of the old man who had helped me and it became an anecdote to tell on a rainy day.
At this stage, I was still friends with Carl and Rhys although I had many more friends by this stage. The threesome were becoming more drifted apart as Rhys became more "gangster" and spent most of his time trying to impress Carl, by bullying me. Now, I don't like confessing I was bullied by someone 2 years younger than me, but that was the case. Carl laughed along and I really wasn't very happy with it all. One day, it all got a little too much and I ended up giving Rhys a right hook before running home in tears. Later that evening, Rhys came round and apologised for provoking me and I refused to apologise back claming "he deserved everything he got". He had a huge black eye and just walked off. We never spoke again and the friendship group just collapsed. I remained friends with Carl, on and off, and we speak occasionally nowadays although he is busy getting his Law Degree at the moment. Always a nice chap was Carl and I maintain it was just children being stupid when he was laughing along with Rhys. I don't have time for people like Rhys these days though. They get on my nerves. My days as being the bad boy were done.
Since then, I have always tried my best to remain calm with people and not to go off the handle like I did the day I gave that, quite frankly, very good right hook. I try very hard to not get angry at people and since then I have only been properly angry only once. Once in 4 years. Not too bad. And even that angry episode was drink-fuelled and the only thing I punched was the Debenhams window at 4am. It hurt but it didn't cause any damage.
It's hard to get round the fact that I've only been alive for 18 years. I've got so much longer to live and many more experiences to .. experience. As Ronan Keating once said, Life is a Rollercoaster and you've just got to ride it.
Saturday 6 March 2010
Life Isn't Like a Box of Chocolates..
Life is anything but. Life is like a game of poker. If you don't put anything in the pot then you can't get anything out of it. Unless someone else puts something there and in life, no one gives you the opportunity on a silver platter. if that happened, I wouldn't be spending time at the moment doing literally nothing. Sitting here doing nothing.
It's all very well me sitting here typing away complaining about what shit life has to throw at me, and it's thrown a fair bit in my direction recently, but what am I going to do about it? I need to go out and investigate like Inspector Morse or go out and fight the problem head on like .. Doctor Who? Besides, the real reason I'm sat here, still in the same situation as I was 3 months ago is because I clearly haven't done enough to combat the problems I face today. To be fair, I've done all I can think of. I look on the internet, newspapers, go to Hell, (a.k.a the Recruitment Agencies), visited Connexions offices, enquired vastly about Apprenticeships, asked in shops around town, given my CV to friends who's parents help out in getting jobs, asked around town a bit more. What else can I do? I'm restricted to B-Town nowadays due to lack of car, so it's even more tough than before. I'm starting to get scared that nothing will "come along eventually". I'm retreating into my shell more and more and this is doing me no good. I'm starting to feel like I was 6 months ago. Back to the dark days.
A Labour Party official turned up at the door yesterday afternoon. It's election time ladies and gentlemen! "Hello, I represent Patrick Hall in the Bedford and Kempston constituency and I, along with my Labour colleagues have ruined the country for you". I made the last bit up. The fact of the matter is, he asked me what the most important issue was for me at the moment. Obviously, I answered with the employment situation for young people. I couldn't tell you what he replied because I simply couldn't understand him. He made no sense whatsoever and if politicians are trying to help us out, they could at least get volunteers who spoke English and didn't read out of an encyclopaedia invented by a triple Cambridge graduate. It angered me so I spent 15 minutes at the door with him questioning him about crime rates, the economy and even briefly on university fees although that particular subject has nothing to do with me whatsoever.
After a while, I reckon he knew I was messing with him so he did the decent thing and walked off. Kept me entertained for a bit I suppose.. I'll be voting Lib Dem anyway - nothing will change my mind on that so for any volunteers of the Labour Party reading, or David Cameron's man slaves, bear that in mind and don't bother visiting me again. Unless you want a grilling.
I've come up with an idea. Maybe I could make an early retirement. In fact, that's a useless idea. I have about £2.45 in my pension account or whatever it is and Labour will probably create some sort of Pension Tax tomorrow so 75% will have gone. £2.45 isn't really enough to live out another 70 years of my life. 35p a year.. a nice solid wage! More than I'm getting now anyway!
Music has kept me going these last few weeks. I've been very willing to listen to artists I wouldn't usually listen to. Examples being Paramore, The Beatles, The Who, Blink 182 and I was even that bored the other day I typed in 'Justin Bei' into my YouTube search before YouTube screamed at me for even contemplating such an idea. Thank God it did because I may not be with you today, typing this and telling you my story if I had got any further. I would have slit my wrists. Anyway, music, I can't live without it at the moment. I always have music in my ears, which may be a life mistake as I may have missed the phone a few times this week and on the other end may of been an employer who hasn't got the time to ring back again! Unlikely though.. I hope so anyway.. Current Song: Elly Goulding - Starry Eyed. Good song. End of. Goodbye. Get out.
Tomorrow is the most eventful day of my weeks at the moment. Sunday of the football variety. We have a home game in the morning, which will probably be cancelled in the wake of the -7 ground frost we are about to encounter overnight before refereeing Under-17's, (MORE MONEY!!), in the afternoon which won't be called off because the blazing sun will have got rid of the frost by then! Money money money! As Tesco say, "Every Little Helps". Wait there for a second.. My need for a ham and cheese toastie has just risen to the level of "unbearable"..
...
That was very nice! Didn't cost me anything either! Result!
I don't have much more to say. My life is that empty that I can only comment on Labour volunteers, The Who and a ham and cheese toastie. Oh well. I've enjoyed writing tonight. It felt almost liberating, which was why I started writing this blog in the first place. Back in the ancient years of 2009. To let off some steam. Not bottle it all up. This blog has been a success. Once again, I urge you to let me know of your thoughts. They are always appreciated.
Ciao x
It's all very well me sitting here typing away complaining about what shit life has to throw at me, and it's thrown a fair bit in my direction recently, but what am I going to do about it? I need to go out and investigate like Inspector Morse or go out and fight the problem head on like .. Doctor Who? Besides, the real reason I'm sat here, still in the same situation as I was 3 months ago is because I clearly haven't done enough to combat the problems I face today. To be fair, I've done all I can think of. I look on the internet, newspapers, go to Hell, (a.k.a the Recruitment Agencies), visited Connexions offices, enquired vastly about Apprenticeships, asked in shops around town, given my CV to friends who's parents help out in getting jobs, asked around town a bit more. What else can I do? I'm restricted to B-Town nowadays due to lack of car, so it's even more tough than before. I'm starting to get scared that nothing will "come along eventually". I'm retreating into my shell more and more and this is doing me no good. I'm starting to feel like I was 6 months ago. Back to the dark days.
A Labour Party official turned up at the door yesterday afternoon. It's election time ladies and gentlemen! "Hello, I represent Patrick Hall in the Bedford and Kempston constituency and I, along with my Labour colleagues have ruined the country for you". I made the last bit up. The fact of the matter is, he asked me what the most important issue was for me at the moment. Obviously, I answered with the employment situation for young people. I couldn't tell you what he replied because I simply couldn't understand him. He made no sense whatsoever and if politicians are trying to help us out, they could at least get volunteers who spoke English and didn't read out of an encyclopaedia invented by a triple Cambridge graduate. It angered me so I spent 15 minutes at the door with him questioning him about crime rates, the economy and even briefly on university fees although that particular subject has nothing to do with me whatsoever.
After a while, I reckon he knew I was messing with him so he did the decent thing and walked off. Kept me entertained for a bit I suppose.. I'll be voting Lib Dem anyway - nothing will change my mind on that so for any volunteers of the Labour Party reading, or David Cameron's man slaves, bear that in mind and don't bother visiting me again. Unless you want a grilling.
I've come up with an idea. Maybe I could make an early retirement. In fact, that's a useless idea. I have about £2.45 in my pension account or whatever it is and Labour will probably create some sort of Pension Tax tomorrow so 75% will have gone. £2.45 isn't really enough to live out another 70 years of my life. 35p a year.. a nice solid wage! More than I'm getting now anyway!
Music has kept me going these last few weeks. I've been very willing to listen to artists I wouldn't usually listen to. Examples being Paramore, The Beatles, The Who, Blink 182 and I was even that bored the other day I typed in 'Justin Bei' into my YouTube search before YouTube screamed at me for even contemplating such an idea. Thank God it did because I may not be with you today, typing this and telling you my story if I had got any further. I would have slit my wrists. Anyway, music, I can't live without it at the moment. I always have music in my ears, which may be a life mistake as I may have missed the phone a few times this week and on the other end may of been an employer who hasn't got the time to ring back again! Unlikely though.. I hope so anyway.. Current Song: Elly Goulding - Starry Eyed. Good song. End of. Goodbye. Get out.
Tomorrow is the most eventful day of my weeks at the moment. Sunday of the football variety. We have a home game in the morning, which will probably be cancelled in the wake of the -7 ground frost we are about to encounter overnight before refereeing Under-17's, (MORE MONEY!!), in the afternoon which won't be called off because the blazing sun will have got rid of the frost by then! Money money money! As Tesco say, "Every Little Helps". Wait there for a second.. My need for a ham and cheese toastie has just risen to the level of "unbearable"..
...
That was very nice! Didn't cost me anything either! Result!
I don't have much more to say. My life is that empty that I can only comment on Labour volunteers, The Who and a ham and cheese toastie. Oh well. I've enjoyed writing tonight. It felt almost liberating, which was why I started writing this blog in the first place. Back in the ancient years of 2009. To let off some steam. Not bottle it all up. This blog has been a success. Once again, I urge you to let me know of your thoughts. They are always appreciated.
Ciao x
Friday 5 March 2010
Targets
I got hit in the gentleman's area whilst goalkeeping this evening. It hurt.
Anyway, jobs. I'm going to set myself a target. This time next month, I will be in work and doing well earning a weekly wage like a normal person. A couple of doors may have opened recently, however unlikely they seem to be and my confidence has been slightly restored. Apparently there is a night-shift position coming up at BP garage. Not exactly my career aspiration, but at times like these a job is a job. We'll see how that goes. At the moment, I will take nearly anything, except for call centre work, because quite frankly I'd rather be poor than being shouted at by strangers for introducing them to a scheme that will get them into mountaneous debts within 6 months. I'd rather not.
Anyway, at this current moment in time I'm watching one of the funniest films ever invented on Channel 4. It wasn't invented by Channel 4.. it's on Channel 4 at the moment. Team America : World Police. Very puppet orientated. Brilliant. This is the reason my blog doesn't have the author-like prowess it normally possesses. I don't usually blow smoke up my own arse but you have to occassionally to boost your self-esteem. Sorry, I'm being distracted by the puppet-version of Michael Moore shouting at me in his own very unique fat ways. And listening to Gary's version of events of his brother being savaged by gorillas. Man, what am I talking about?
On to a more .. sombre mood. The last couple of days.. well.. weeks, i've felt a little lonely. And honestly, it's just a coincedence that I'm typing this as the puppet Kim Jong-Il sings his song about loneliness. The fact of the matter is, with no money, (except for Manchester and the pizza.. yeah I know..), I haven't had any social life and have had to spend the last few weeks with only myself for company, which is the primary definition of loneliness. I feel I can't just go into town without the temptation to spend money. Sounds sad I know. So I'm stuck indoors. With nothing. It's all starting to get too tedious for my liking.
It's the weekend now. I've just realised. Took me a while to work that out because every day does seem like all the others. Sundays are slightly different as I've said before, but tomorrow isn't really a Saturday. It's just a day.. just like all the other days. At 12 I may wake up if I feel like it then at 3 I'm doing nothing followed by a stage of nothingness and then at 9 I may be doing nothing inparticular and then I'm planning to do nothing before going to bed. Exactly. I know what you're thinking already..
In other news, I'm not far away from breaking my thumb after a fair few weeks of discomfort whilst goalkeeping which is just getting worse. I'm starting to get fed up of playing football. Most of my teammates spend Saturday night on the steamboat and then wonder why we play rubbish the following morning. Let me think? Probably cos your wasted? Makes sense. Its starting to get annoying and next season I think I will concentrate more on my refereeing. At least I won't have any teammates to be annoyed at. I've decided I want to go quite far in my refereeing. At the moment at least, I enjoy it and although I'm not going to be the next Howard Webb without the shiny head, I'd like to think I could get fairly far. So I'm going to give myself every chance.
Right. I'm going to watch the last little bit of Team America and let you get on with your own positive lives.
Bye x
Anyway, jobs. I'm going to set myself a target. This time next month, I will be in work and doing well earning a weekly wage like a normal person. A couple of doors may have opened recently, however unlikely they seem to be and my confidence has been slightly restored. Apparently there is a night-shift position coming up at BP garage. Not exactly my career aspiration, but at times like these a job is a job. We'll see how that goes. At the moment, I will take nearly anything, except for call centre work, because quite frankly I'd rather be poor than being shouted at by strangers for introducing them to a scheme that will get them into mountaneous debts within 6 months. I'd rather not.
Anyway, at this current moment in time I'm watching one of the funniest films ever invented on Channel 4. It wasn't invented by Channel 4.. it's on Channel 4 at the moment. Team America : World Police. Very puppet orientated. Brilliant. This is the reason my blog doesn't have the author-like prowess it normally possesses. I don't usually blow smoke up my own arse but you have to occassionally to boost your self-esteem. Sorry, I'm being distracted by the puppet-version of Michael Moore shouting at me in his own very unique fat ways. And listening to Gary's version of events of his brother being savaged by gorillas. Man, what am I talking about?
On to a more .. sombre mood. The last couple of days.. well.. weeks, i've felt a little lonely. And honestly, it's just a coincedence that I'm typing this as the puppet Kim Jong-Il sings his song about loneliness. The fact of the matter is, with no money, (except for Manchester and the pizza.. yeah I know..), I haven't had any social life and have had to spend the last few weeks with only myself for company, which is the primary definition of loneliness. I feel I can't just go into town without the temptation to spend money. Sounds sad I know. So I'm stuck indoors. With nothing. It's all starting to get too tedious for my liking.
It's the weekend now. I've just realised. Took me a while to work that out because every day does seem like all the others. Sundays are slightly different as I've said before, but tomorrow isn't really a Saturday. It's just a day.. just like all the other days. At 12 I may wake up if I feel like it then at 3 I'm doing nothing followed by a stage of nothingness and then at 9 I may be doing nothing inparticular and then I'm planning to do nothing before going to bed. Exactly. I know what you're thinking already..
In other news, I'm not far away from breaking my thumb after a fair few weeks of discomfort whilst goalkeeping which is just getting worse. I'm starting to get fed up of playing football. Most of my teammates spend Saturday night on the steamboat and then wonder why we play rubbish the following morning. Let me think? Probably cos your wasted? Makes sense. Its starting to get annoying and next season I think I will concentrate more on my refereeing. At least I won't have any teammates to be annoyed at. I've decided I want to go quite far in my refereeing. At the moment at least, I enjoy it and although I'm not going to be the next Howard Webb without the shiny head, I'd like to think I could get fairly far. So I'm going to give myself every chance.
Right. I'm going to watch the last little bit of Team America and let you get on with your own positive lives.
Bye x
Thursday 4 March 2010
"Something Will Come Up Eventually..."
... If I hear that phrase once more I will honestly, actually, definitely tear off that persons bollocks, set them on fire then feed them to the pigeons in town that inadvertently shit on your head as you walk around aimlessly wondering what happened to Woolworths and trying to resist the temptation to buy those god-awful doughnuts from the Dinky Donut lady.. Or is that just me?
Besides, I KNOW something will come up eventually, I surely can't spend the rest of my life in unemployment because that's nearly impossible. After 10 years, I'd probably either take any job in the whole world or commit suicide. One or the other. I've found myself today applying for jobs I have very very little chance in even getting an interview so quite frankly things are getting desperate. I'm running out of ideas!
I'll be back on later to update further.. now however, I am being subjected to awful pain.
Sorry about that. A terrible amount of cramp overcome me and disabled me for over an hour. The worst cramp I've had in a while. However, I doubt you're reading this wanting to hear about the build up of lactic acid in my gastrocnemius, (yeah ive got a GCSE in PE :D). This evening I played 7-a-side, as I usually do on most Thursdays, however tonight was a tad different because it was only friendlies and all proceeds went to the HAITI appeal. Frankly, I think this should have stood for Help An Infant Track Imployment appeal. I cannot believe it took over 10 minutes for me to think of that and a) I'm not an infant, however much I act like one and 2) I fail at spelling - but it was the best I could come up with, even with the use of Thesaurus.com. Besides, the fact of the matter is I can't afford to pay £3 plus to some pan-american who's mud house has fallen down and to pay for a pack of peanuts for them. Ok, I did order in a pizza last night for £10.99 but that's a different matter. That pizza was nice. The Haitains probably don't even like peanuts..
At the moment, I'm watching a Jimmy Carr DVD at 00:40 downstairs on the "big tele". Our house has a "big tele" and a couple of "small teles", but my "small tele" has been taken over by aliens so now no longer works. Pain in the arse, even if I didn't watch it. I plan to watch a bit of Dara O Briain next. Warm up for the main event on 22nd May, (or is it the 26th? ... No? ... 28th?), where Kets managed to get two front-row centre tickets to go see the man himself in Milton Keynes. One of the 2 things I'm looking forward to! Other being Operation Rolling Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. See previous posts for details. Or just ask me. Either way.
Not a lot else to update you on. Other than 4 hours after I originally saved this post, I noticed a mistake in the first sentence. I put "here" instead of "hear". I thought I could speak English, but clearly not! Anyway, I may go on job sites for the 3rd time today although I get the feeling that may be pointless. Michael McIntyre it is.
Ciao x
Besides, I KNOW something will come up eventually, I surely can't spend the rest of my life in unemployment because that's nearly impossible. After 10 years, I'd probably either take any job in the whole world or commit suicide. One or the other. I've found myself today applying for jobs I have very very little chance in even getting an interview so quite frankly things are getting desperate. I'm running out of ideas!
I'll be back on later to update further.. now however, I am being subjected to awful pain.
Sorry about that. A terrible amount of cramp overcome me and disabled me for over an hour. The worst cramp I've had in a while. However, I doubt you're reading this wanting to hear about the build up of lactic acid in my gastrocnemius, (yeah ive got a GCSE in PE :D). This evening I played 7-a-side, as I usually do on most Thursdays, however tonight was a tad different because it was only friendlies and all proceeds went to the HAITI appeal. Frankly, I think this should have stood for Help An Infant Track Imployment appeal. I cannot believe it took over 10 minutes for me to think of that and a) I'm not an infant, however much I act like one and 2) I fail at spelling - but it was the best I could come up with, even with the use of Thesaurus.com. Besides, the fact of the matter is I can't afford to pay £3 plus to some pan-american who's mud house has fallen down and to pay for a pack of peanuts for them. Ok, I did order in a pizza last night for £10.99 but that's a different matter. That pizza was nice. The Haitains probably don't even like peanuts..
At the moment, I'm watching a Jimmy Carr DVD at 00:40 downstairs on the "big tele". Our house has a "big tele" and a couple of "small teles", but my "small tele" has been taken over by aliens so now no longer works. Pain in the arse, even if I didn't watch it. I plan to watch a bit of Dara O Briain next. Warm up for the main event on 22nd May, (or is it the 26th? ... No? ... 28th?), where Kets managed to get two front-row centre tickets to go see the man himself in Milton Keynes. One of the 2 things I'm looking forward to! Other being Operation Rolling Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. See previous posts for details. Or just ask me. Either way.
Not a lot else to update you on. Other than 4 hours after I originally saved this post, I noticed a mistake in the first sentence. I put "here" instead of "hear". I thought I could speak English, but clearly not! Anyway, I may go on job sites for the 3rd time today although I get the feeling that may be pointless. Michael McIntyre it is.
Ciao x
Wednesday 3 March 2010
Laptop Heaven
My laptop is being anything but "heavenly". I have a huge list of virus's on my screen at the moment, (89 in total), including trojans, worms, malware, adware and something called a Backlog..? My laptop is also trying to get me to use a security package called SecuriTool which I'm convinced is also a virus as it asks for my account number and sort code. If I had the speakers turned on, I wouldn't be surprised if a nigerian accent came out of them - almost like Mr Agdeagdegwenyu or whatever his name was, from Fonejacker.
So, my laptop is on its way out so this blog may well become less updated in the next few weeks until we either get it properly repaired or ship out a lot of money for a brand new one, (which to be fair is highly unlikely). We are both looking for jobs however, and the internet is the most likely source of finding this, so maybe a brand new one wouldn't be such a bad idea? I live in hope. Talking of jobs, I didn't get it. That one I was waiting for weeks to find out whether I had got it? Do you remember? I don't blame you. I didn't get it. There goes my chance at getting a job until I win the lottery and I'm able to insure the car. But seeing as I'd have won the lottery, I wouldn't need a job. I'm never getting a job. Yay.
16 days until I leave for Manchester however. Something to look forward to. I'm fairly sure I will have enough money to have a good time and quite frankly I can't wait!
That's it for now. I'm convinced the laptop is just going to catch fire and burn on my legs any minute so before I lose this incredibly long post and an enourmous 10 minutes worth of typing, I shall leave. If I don't make an appearance for a while, the laptop is dead. Not me.
Ciao x
So, my laptop is on its way out so this blog may well become less updated in the next few weeks until we either get it properly repaired or ship out a lot of money for a brand new one, (which to be fair is highly unlikely). We are both looking for jobs however, and the internet is the most likely source of finding this, so maybe a brand new one wouldn't be such a bad idea? I live in hope. Talking of jobs, I didn't get it. That one I was waiting for weeks to find out whether I had got it? Do you remember? I don't blame you. I didn't get it. There goes my chance at getting a job until I win the lottery and I'm able to insure the car. But seeing as I'd have won the lottery, I wouldn't need a job. I'm never getting a job. Yay.
16 days until I leave for Manchester however. Something to look forward to. I'm fairly sure I will have enough money to have a good time and quite frankly I can't wait!
That's it for now. I'm convinced the laptop is just going to catch fire and burn on my legs any minute so before I lose this incredibly long post and an enourmous 10 minutes worth of typing, I shall leave. If I don't make an appearance for a while, the laptop is dead. Not me.
Ciao x
Monday 1 March 2010
Numbers and Figures
I browsed Reed again today. Put in my usual numbers and found there were 22 jobs advertised in Bedford and the 5 miles surrounding Bedford. Most of these were Accounting Management jobs and even if I wanted to go into accounting, which is a vast no-no, then I would of been highly under-qualified. Never mind. Maybe Totaljobs will have a lot more.
I browsed TotalJobs again today. Put in my usual numbers and found there were 24 jobs advertised in Bedford and the 5 miles surrounding Bedford. I won't even go into the sort of jobs they had advertised because I've never even heard of the profession.. Don't worry. I'm used to it. On the good side, I looked in Beds On Sunday yesterday, as usual, expecting to find nothing and I came across 3, 4 maybe 5 jobs I have at least a remote chance in getting an interview for. I have been feverishly applying for them all day, (OK it took about 30 minutes..), but it is something and I don't have the choice now but apply for every job I can. I need something.
It's going to be another long week I think. I'm still saving what money I get for Manchester so i refuse to even walk to Tesco's to buy a chocolate bar or 3. I have no life at the moment except for sitting inside going through my DVD collection, watching awful daytime TV and sitting here on this laptop doing nothing inparticular. I do sound like the classic unemployed person.
Sundays are the only day really where something happens. Football Sunday. However, due to the rains that seemingly on Britain can provide, all football was called off yesterday. So another day happened. Just another day. Same as all the others. The only difference being I'm writing in the blog at 9pm and not 3am.. Consolation.
Bye x
I browsed TotalJobs again today. Put in my usual numbers and found there were 24 jobs advertised in Bedford and the 5 miles surrounding Bedford. I won't even go into the sort of jobs they had advertised because I've never even heard of the profession.. Don't worry. I'm used to it. On the good side, I looked in Beds On Sunday yesterday, as usual, expecting to find nothing and I came across 3, 4 maybe 5 jobs I have at least a remote chance in getting an interview for. I have been feverishly applying for them all day, (OK it took about 30 minutes..), but it is something and I don't have the choice now but apply for every job I can. I need something.
It's going to be another long week I think. I'm still saving what money I get for Manchester so i refuse to even walk to Tesco's to buy a chocolate bar or 3. I have no life at the moment except for sitting inside going through my DVD collection, watching awful daytime TV and sitting here on this laptop doing nothing inparticular. I do sound like the classic unemployed person.
Sundays are the only day really where something happens. Football Sunday. However, due to the rains that seemingly on Britain can provide, all football was called off yesterday. So another day happened. Just another day. Same as all the others. The only difference being I'm writing in the blog at 9pm and not 3am.. Consolation.
Bye x
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