Angry Mitten

It's not in my nature to be angry. I get slightly annoyed by certain things that happen in everyday life occasionally, just like everyone does, but never angry. I say "never", there have been examples of course, but it is unlike me. I do tend to just bottle it up and walk away from situations that could produce anger.

But this week, there have been 2 examples where I have gotten angry. Where I have actually thought about the situation and thought, "I'm very angry". Admittedly, one of these was whilst I was highly intoxicated but the other one, that occurred today, was just so... unbelievable... that it wound me up something fierce.

We'll start with the drunken one, and yes I know what you're all thinking. Here we go again, another story of a drunken Mitten that ended up with some ridiculous story about how he danced with a giraffe, got kicked out and was then angry before marching up the A428. But no. This particular case of anger was fuelled merely by the presence of another human being. There are not many people in this world I despise. I generally get on with people. I know that people have their flaws. Colin cannot turn up to an event on time. Saggers smokes like a chimney and Billie says she's sober all the time, despite being drunk. I can live with these things. Of course I can. But there are some people who have done the most unforgivable things, against good people, and I cannot stand that. I won't go into the story, as its not my story to tell, but lets just say, I HATE this person with all my heart. I HATE what he did to a good friend of mine and I HATE that he has seemingly gotten away with it. I saw him across the room at first, and tried to ignore him, but then he walked past me. In my drunken state, I bumped him in the shoulder. I didn't want to create a scene, but I wanted him to know I was there and I didn't like him. Obviously, his mates started on me, asking, "What the hell was that for?!" etc etc whilst this despicable human stood in the background, too much of a coward to ask me himself. Even now, I'm getting worked up talking about him. This incident was obviously started by me, but if I could have got away with punching him round his smug face, I would have done. But I walked away, despite my highly intoxicated state, because I am naturally not a person who likes confrontation. The thought that I instigated that at all still surprises me a little. That was my limit, and we got on with our night out. He wasn't worth excess trouble.

I do have a trump card to play if he does push me over the edge though. And frankly, I cannot wait to tell everyone about his escapades.

The other example of something that wound me up more than I'm used to is this situation with the "transition of power" at our cricket club. We all thought that our ex "Director of Cricket" had resigned but according to him, he hasn't. He has. But he hasn't. Has he? I don't know.

In what universe can a person, "resign all of their roles associated with the club" yet somehow still be Chairman? Is that possible? Is that how it works? Even with my inexperience in being involved with boards, and directors and what not, I'm pretty sure that's not how it goes. After years of being a frustrating person to work with, he is making the whole process harder, when it is already difficult enough.

Maybe I shouldn't be telling you this. It may be seen as "unprofessional", but for the (nearly) 3 years this blog has run, this blog's purpose is for me to release thoughts on to it. So here I am, releasing thoughts...

The Journey Begins

It turns out, I am merely a Director of this club until the AGM, where I will (hopefully) be officially nominated and seconded to carry on. I have to write a short synopsis on what I can bring to the table, and where I want the club to be, which shouldn't be too much trouble as I have a clear vision of what I want to happen at The Bury. My only concern at the moment is how we're going to get there.

On Friday evening, I experienced a first. I had never been involved in an "official" meeting as such, with an agenda and points of order, over dinner in a swanky restaurant. I'd just like to point out at this stage, this was paid for by ourselves! I don't think we would get away with putting such prices on the company accounts! I wasn't very vocal during the meeting, mainly because I was trying to take everything in, plus I was trying to get to grips with the officialdom of it all. I have spent all season playing cricket on the same pitch as 2 of the other committee members, surrounded by banter and competitiveness, but all of a sudden, we're enveloped in discussing the accounts of the club and structure management. It hasn't quite sunk in yet. The closest I have ever come to being involved in such an event was during my school days, where we had to hold "meetings" with our "project manager" in IT, (who was the teacher), but no one ever took them seriously. And it was with made-up points of order and for something that wasn't REALLY happening. This, on the other hand, is happening. And is happening really rather fast.

Although it shouldn't be the case, I did also feel a little ... under-qualified. Obviously, I am only 21. The people who surrounded me all have much more work and life experience. One is a computer programmer, the secretary has a law and business background, one is Head Strategist for a major company and the last member has been involved in work in Eastern Europe and what not, although I'm unsure in what field. (No, I don't think he is a member of the KGB!) Me on the other hand, simply works in a single-manned post office. I really do think I can bring unique attributes to the committee though, and I feel I have the respect of the adult membership, (of which I will run again this coming season), for my role to be a success. I just need to work on believing that I can make a major contribution, just a wee bit more.

Today was also a strange sort of day. After a busy Saturday morning at work, I spent all afternoon helping out where I could on the End of Season "Fun Day" for the junior section. It was a good laugh, but all of a sudden, it got tense. The outgoing chairman had agreed to hand out the awards, and as I stood there and listened to him, you could feel the tension in the crowd of people watching. It was literally a case of him coming along, handing out the awards, and going home again and you just got the feeling that he didn't want to be there. And who can blame him. I do feel a little sorry for him. It's been an unpleasant week in general, and the transition is one that needs to be carefully carried out. As I was cashing up the takings also, there were a couple of interesting discussions, but they shall remain private from this blog at least.

For most of the afternoon, I was the only "new" Director present. Which meant I was fielding questions from people I had never met before about where the club was going. Seeing as this was the junior section's day, I hadn't met very many of the parents involved, as I was only heading the adult section last season. It was a case of being put on the spot on some occasions, answering some tricky and potentially sensitive questions. I think I did well, but a couple of the people I discussed certain things with are very strong and opinionated people. That's a good thing, but it was certainly a challenge this afternoon, trying to communicate that we were working on making a structure and regaining communication and trust.

I do completely understand of course, that very few of you are at all interested in the ins and outs of this situation. But for me, this is a very big commitment. It's a big commitment to anyone, but I think for me, it goes further than that. It is another step forward for me in my personal comeback, as I said before, and therefore it is at the forefront of my thoughts at the moment. So, apologies if this is all terribly boring but... You know...

The level of work we have to do reached another level today. I knew we had a lot to do, but the trust we need to regain from the membership is a task that will be a very difficult one. I'm fairly sure I've never been so heavily involved in such a momentous task, but I am ready to take it on. Time to fight another battle, after the battle of the last few years.

All Change Please

Just a short one this. An update, if you will.

After the madness of last Friday, we all thought we were in for a rather ugly ousting of the chairman, but a few days later, I received notification that he had resigned. I was very pleased, if a little bit sorry for the man, but now we can work on the development the club so sorely needs.

I was looking forward to the challenges that lay ahead. It was probably a formality that I was going to be involved with the new management in some shape or form, but I wasn't expecting it to happen so suddenly. On the same day, I received an e-mail from the secretary who notified me that I had been invited to become a Director. It turns out, the current directorship, (for there was 1 remaining director, after he withdrew his resignation), can appoint directors until the minimum quota is satisfied without the nomination and approval of the membership. So I can officially say now that I am a Director of Bedford Cricket Club. Will look good on the CV I suppose!

There's a long road of recovery and development ahead. And it is a challenge that we are all taking on voluntarily. My life at work is steady and non-complicated, which is exactly what I need, but I am being paid for the priviledge of course. This, I am not. And I am going to need to be as vocal and opinionated as I was at the EGM last Friday, if I am to become a valued member of the board. It will be a challenge, not just for us as management, but for me in my own personal development.

You could even go as far to say, it's important for my own personal comeback. It is a recent view I have taken that I am making a comeback in being as confident as I was up to the age of 17. The old days of performing monologues in front of 500 people, remembering lines and actions, being confident in myself to perform well in exams and refereeing football matches. All that confidence vanished along with my self-esteem, but now I am making a recovery.

Onwards.

Talking About a Revolution

Well, once more, just like old times, I'm unsure of where to begin explaining about a weekend which has provided event after event of unscripted magnificence and ... "life-changing" events, although maybe the use of that phrase is a little over the top.. I suppose we'll do it chronologically then!

This past week, there has been much hype, (created by myself I suppose) about an Emergency General Meeting at my cricket club, Bedford CC. It was based around a "decision" made by our current "Director of Cricket", although I use both terms loosely, that stated his resignation. In the past, meetings like this would have done well if they attracted numbers that reached double figures, but on arrival, we were greeted by a room full to the rafters with members, parents and others who looked on edge. At first, I thought this looked a good sign. They had come to witness the resignation of a highly unpopular chairman, and all the better for it. The meeting began with a statement from the current 'Director of Cricket', that didn't really say a lot in all honesty. The only thing he didn't say was that he was resigning, which raised questions from the floor about whether or not he was actually going. On the face of it, I was starting to think he had merely threatened resignation to get all the members in one room, and outline his mad idea of getting hundreds of volunteers. Whether he was expecting people to just say, "Ok, I'll help", I have no idea, but no one has done so in the past 7 years, so I saw no reason as to why people would start now.

For about 20 minutes or so, I listened to our Director of Cricket outline his plan for sub-committees and his need for volunteers at the club. There were a couple of strong questions from a couple of others, who seemed annoyed at the fact they had been coaxed into a meeting that was supposed to be about resignation, but in fact, wasn't. However, there was no one who really stood up and questioned why no volunteers come forward. There was no one who stood up and asked the questions that needed to be answered. There was no one who stood up and proposed a complete overhaul.

Which is where I come in.

I was so nervous. All week, like I said, I had hyped myself up as one of a few people who were prepared to step up and speak against the management. For about half an hour, I had listened to the Director of Cricket's previously failed ideas of a volunteer programme, and eventually, I had the courage to stand up... And say (roughly):

"If I could just, have my say, (voice shaking slightly and heart rate at about 500 bpm). For years now, there have been AGM's and meetings to discuss the likelihood of the membership stepping up to become volunteers, yet year after year we have a situation where there is no one prepared to do it. As (Director of Cricket) said, people have lives and other commitments, and that is fine, but we've got to ask ourselves why there is NO ONE prepared to volunteer even 1 hour a week. For half an hour, we've listened to exactly the same things that we hear year in, year out, and unfortunately, we're going to get the same results. There is no reason to suggest that this will suddenly change. This is why, after speaking to a section of the membership, and after receiving the same feedback from most, I am prepared to stand up here this evening and propose that a brand new management take control of the club and I think we should have a discussion on this possibility."

And I sat down. There was absolute silence. The Director of Cricket, who was sat merely 5 metres away from me, had a face of absolute stone. However, he was the one that broke the silence:

"Ok, let's put it out to the floor. Does anyone have any thoughts?"

Again. Silence. It might well have been the longest silence I've heard in a fair while. Just as I was starting to think that I had stood up, completely went against the management, thinking people would jump to my defence, but instead people had bottled it, I heard a voice from the back.

"I would have to agree with Tom. This club needs a new direction and with the current commitee, we are simply going around in circles. I will be prepared to back the idea that a new management is needed."

I didn't really know the man. He was a parent of one of the junior members, but I was so relieved. One person had spoken up, and all of a sudden, the debate soared. Ok, it wasn't quite as one-sided as I had expected. Can I just make it plain, that the Director of Cricket is not a monster. He has done a very difficult job, practically on his own, for years and that has to be commended. But for the club to continue, it needs structure, and he isn't the person to bring it. It got to a stage where I was putting my hand up and putting myself forward as a Director, (for reasons I'll explain later), along with a couple of others. It got heated, but it was all very official at the same time. It was a strange atmosphere. I've witnessed things like this, but I have never been so heavily involved. Let alone be the instigator of such discussion.

For about an hour, there was a debate as to why there was no structure, where the club should be and where it should go and many people got involved. A couple of people were as aggressive as I was in backing the change for a complete overhaul, but there were people in there who defended the Director of Cricket. On the face of it, it was probably 50/50, but the people supporting the Director of Cricket were not the sort of people who would come forward and defend him on an official level. After the meeting, I discovered there were a fair amount of people who were prepared to back me up, but felt it better to not speak up about it at the meeting.

The club is a charity. It has a constitution that must be followed and procedure has to happen. Before this meeting, there were 3 Directors at the club. 2 of which resigned, leaving the current Director of Cricket. There HAS to be at least 3 directors, or there is no charity, meaning no club. The membership cannot "vote out" the chairman, (the same person as the Director of Cricket). The only people who can vote on the chairmanship are the Directors. As long as someone proposes and seconds a person to become a Director, they can be a Director. There isn't really any requirements to becoming a Director, but there can only be a maximum of 20. After the AGM, where the Directors are proposed and seconded, the Directors have a meeting to vote on the Chairman.

So. The plan is to round up as many people as possible who agree that there needs to be a change, (which is a fair few more than those who spoke up in the meeting), and get them all on the committee as Directors. At the Directors meeting, we all vote against the Director of Cricket and get rid of him, then vote in our own chairman. It is a revolution, albeit on a miniature scale, and it needs people with balls to carry it out. Why hasn't this happened before? Without trying to sound clichéd, it's complicated. The rigmarole and chain of events are too difficult for people to bother contemplating getting around, so they just don't. Most of the people in that room on Friday evening accepted they "didn't know the politics of the club", so they didn't know how to change things, and therefore just let things happen. The current Director of Cricket, (also Chairman), is too stubborn to resign, therefore we are left with the only option of ousting him.

It's quite difficult to explain the atmosphere plus the ins and outs of that meeting. Some people with strong opinions got involved, and there is no way on God's Green Earth, I'd have kept myself composed in such an arena a couple of years ago. I think it's a sign of the development I have made that I could keep myself together in such a debate. To instigate such a discussion, is something I didn't think I was capable of, even a couple of months back, so I'm really very proud of what I did on Friday evening. I even gained a couple of slaps on the back afterwards for being brave enough to say what many people have been thinking for years, but just didn't have the bottle or understanding of the situation, to stand up and say it.

To wind down, I went out on Bedford town on Friday evening with a few of the Hawkers. As it was running late, I asked Sofee to drop me off at Queens Drive so I could get some money and buy a bottle of the favourite. I was very happy and surprised then, when Sofee told me I could have a fairly large bottle of JD on him! Thank you VERY much! It was very, very much appreciated. And I can tell you it is now all gone!

Friday night was a good old catch up, but I have just got back from Part 2, which took place in Birmingham. Without going into too much detail, we were delayed on the train there, at Northampton, because the train driver seemingly went on strike mid-shift, we spent a lot of time walking around the Bullring, then spent a lot of time drinking and learning the dance to 'Gangnam Style'. I also went to a casino, for the 2nd time ever, and came out with a £10 profit, which whilst drunk at 3.30am is a pretty good achievement! It was a solid night, but now I am rather tired. Back to work tomorrow! The next instalment of the UK tour is Nottingham, from 5-7 October for Chief Waster's 21st, which will most probably be very interesting!

But the event that has changed me as a person the most this weekend, has to be the events of Friday evening. Finally, after years of fights and frustration, change is coming to the club that means a lot to me. Every Summer, I say I cannot wait for the season to start, but come next May, I may well have a major say in what goes on there. All because I had the bottle that I never knew was there, to stand up for what I believe in. Although this is going to sound incredibly cheesy, there is one man I'd like to thank for this. There have been others, but there is one man especially who, despite it being very hard work, has made me feel like I can stand up for myself. CC. He's been through events of his own, yet still has time to help anyone who asks for it. He was the man who backed me 100% in coming up against the FA, when others wondered what the hell I was playing at, and during the times where I thought I was making the wrong choices, in whatever they may be, he has always been there to reassure me that I was making the right ones. And now, after these two cases where I have stood up for what I genuinely believe in, I have made major developments in becoming the best person I can be. And without CC, I don't think I could have done that. Thanks mate.

More Things That Annoy Mitten

I've done a couple of these before. Lists of things that drive me up the wall. Things that just make me say, "How the hell can that even happen?!" and things that just generally grind my gears. Things that, if it wasn't against the law, I would murder to get rid of. Is that going too far...?

Football Fans

Not all of them, no. Seriously, the fans that complain no end about their manager's decisions or decisions not going their way when it comes to penalties. Fans who complain that the referee hasn't sent off an opposition player, yet when their own player does the same thing, it's fine because its on Luis Suarez, and he's a racist tw*t. It's as if these ridiculous excuses for human beings feel they should be employed as manager because they can do a better job than Sir Alex, Mancini, Wenger and co. I mean, come on? Winning La Liga with Barcelona on Football Manager doesn't qualify you to take charge of any football club in the world. Not even Brickhill Wanderers U12's.

And another thing. Why, at any stadium in England, is there a ridiculous obsession to call the opposition fans "f***ing c**ts" at 5-minute intervals? Have you spotted one in the crowd that murdered your brother? Has the 18-year old lad on the front row, who reckons he should be the star of a Football Factory sequel, slept with your wife? Knowing football fans, it might well be an obscenity shouted out more than you'd think...

And then there's the ones who just want to fight. The hooligans. The self-confessed "best fans" who would like to smash up their opponents with the seat they paid a fair amount of money for, simply because they only bought 135 to The Kassam Stadium. As if they're in 1975 or something. Get a grip.

Music Enthusiasts

Again, not all of them. In fact, I am aiming this at one group in particular. The music enthusiasts who force their preferred genre of music on to others. The notion that everyone should like the same music as you is nonsensical. I am quite diverse in my choice of music. The top 5 artists on my long playlist of varied music are Coldplay, Kenny Rogers, David Guetta, Fleetwood Mac and Maroon 5. I like most types of music unless you count dubstep and "screaming".

But these sorts of people insist you must like these sounds in your ear and NOTHING ELSE.

"Two Door Cinema Club's new album is amazing, how can you not like it?!"

"You clearly have no music knowledge if you don't like Oasis!"

 

"You're just following the crowd by liking Adele!"

So what if I know nothing of the back catalogues of Oasis? I know 'Wonderwall' and frankly, who should care? And if I followed the crowd, I wouldn't like a bit of Kenny Rogers would I? I think Adele has a marvellous voice and despite Heart FM playing her songs after every advert, her songs actually have a message. Unlike... most other modern stuff.

Ok, I do have no knowledge on music. I'll move on.

Fussy Eaters

The sort of people who claim that they don't like something yet have never tried it. Have some people got the power to decipher if they like a certain food without trying it?

I used to be a fussy eater. When I was 10 years old. Mother Mitten would constantly say, "How do you know you don't like it when you've never tried it?" and every single time, I would sit there, completely stumped. It's because she has a point.

A few weeks backs, I went to a restaurant that served all sorts of exotic meat. You might have read about it on here, and when I told others that I had eaten animals such as wildebeest and zebra, springbok and camel, some people looked at me as though I had just digested their Grandmother. I asked them if they had ever seen a cooked zebra and they shook their head. If they have never even seen cooked meat like this, then how do they know how it tastes?

Frankly, some people need to broaden their horizons from pizza, chips and the occasional dabble in the exotic and exciting "hamburger".

People with no Knowledge of World Events

This has been the worst thing of all recently. It winds me up something fierce. I pride myself on having a brief knowledge of current affairs. If I asked people, right now, who the new Health Secretary in the government was, I can guarantee about 2 out of 10 people would know. Why? These are the people running our country, so why does no one want to know who they are? I rang a friend the other day to talk about cricket issues, and started off the conversation aimed at the cabinet reshuffle as his new boss, I believe, is Maria Miller. How many people would know who she was? It's huge news!

How many people would know what is happening in Chevaline, France at the moment? How many people know that there is a huge debate over a 3rd runway at Britain's biggest airport? How many people even know, even a few details, about the UK's largest recession in decades? I'm prepared to guess, very few, and it's so annoying! 

A large proportion of the British public would rather know more about how Arg is getting on in the atrocity that is 'The Only Way Is Essex' rather than how the country is fighting from the leftovers of arguably the UK's largest banking crisis in ages. And that is the main problem. Vast amounts of people have no idea what is going on, simply because they think it's boring. And then have the audacity to claim that the government is useless.


And last, but by no means least...


Twitter


I like Twitter. In fact, I love it. The idea that you can keep in touch with how footballers and actors and politicians and cricketers and anyone else in the world is doing, writing down thoughts and ideas on to a massive timeline is a superb one. At one time, the Twitter world was full of intelligent, educational and inspiring ideas, and it was a great thing to be a part of.


But now? Every day, there are trending topics to do with Justin Bieber or One Direction, people making new accounts based on their "idols". Human beings should not idolise people who do not deserve it. Sure, these musicians are making music and good for them, but they should not be treated as Gods by millions. Twitter only fuels that.


Then there are idiots who hide behind a computer screen and abuse people without a care in the world of the impact their words are having. There was recently a story of a troubled 17-year old, abusing GB diver Tom Daley about his dead Father. It's just gross. But that's just the extreme. There are now bucket loads of people on there, exposing personal arguments over a computer screen, letting the whole world know of their closest secrets. The internet is a harsh, harsh place and it is very unforgiving. If you say one thing out of turn, one small typo that is read incorrectly, it has the ability to spread in seconds. There are so many examples of how one out-of-the-blue comment can escalate into a world of unwanted attention.


I have been there myself on a much smaller scale. Twitter, whichever way you look at it, cost me my refereeing career. (Don't worry. I won't start.)


But, just today, I have read so many examples where friendships have potentially been destroyed, relationships scuppered and acquaintances destroyed because of someone who thought they would be clever and type a comment on to a screen. Twitter has the potential to be a wonderful tool, and although I spend a ridiculous amount of time on the site, I do feel that sometimes it can just be an obstacle to good old-fashioned socialising.

 

Up or Down?

This weekend saw the final instalment of my 5th season in cricket. On a personal level, I've come a fair distance. From the bottom of the batting order at midweek side Aspen, I have moved up to the top of the batting order, to 2nd XI captain, to 1st XI member to 1st XI captain. It hasn't been a bad ascent for 5 years worth, but the main problem is, the club I play for has failed to do the same.

In our first season in the Bedfordshire County Cricket League, we were walking our division. We had 10 wins out of 10, and seemingly coasting to promotion. Then, almost at the blink of an eye, we lost it. We threw it away, and since then, we have come so close yet so far. Unable to get out of a division, that, on paper, we should be winning fairly easily. Except, it never works out that way in this sport. The beginning of the season, we were lucky to get a team out at all, as we struggled our way to lower-mid table. Pondering another season of so near, yet so far. But the last couple of months, we have made a real surge, as the returning University players and a couple more set us up. Today was the final chapter, and a real chance of promotion.

The game itself was a bit of a non-event. I was nervous. After Ridgway's very good birthday celebrations the night before, where I saw off half a kilogram of steak and chips followed by a poker night, I went to sleep with the same sort of feelings I had before the cup finals I played in as a footballer a few seasons back. (More on the football later...)

I woke up this morning, relatively relaxed, and as I walked to the ground, I told myself I had done everything I could for this club this season. I have been through the mill, getting a team out, organising this, that and everything and I could do no more except put in a solid performance this afternoon. As I say, the game itself was a huge anti-climax as we bowled them out for a measly 52 and knocked them off in no time. We had done our bit, but the promotion wasn't going to happen unless other results, in other divisions no less, went our way. There were many factors to take into account:

- If Blunham 2nds in Division 3, lost to bottom of the table Pilgrims Oakley, they would have been relegated to Division 4. Likewise, if Kempston Sports above them, won, then Blunham would go down.

- Because of this, Blunham 3rds could not get promoted to Division 4, if their 2nd team lost, due to league rules stating you can't have two teams from the same club in the same division. Blunham 3rds are 2nd in our division.

- This means that 3rd in our division would get promoted. Us. But we needed Blunham 2nds to lose or Kempston Sports to win in Division 3.

And neither result went in our favour. Blunham 2nds survived Division 3, leaving Blunham 3rds free to get promoted to Division 4. Meaning, no space for us.

Understand? Maybe. Maybe not. But it's another case of so near, yet so far for us.

The problem? As always, the first 5 games of the season. When most of our squad is either at university or has exams, we seriously struggle to even get 11 out, let alone be competitive.

In a few years, when our main players are through university, it will be much easier. But the problem of keeping them interested in playing for a club that is in Division 5 remains a big problem. Players leave, in search of a better standard, and I fear it may be the case again this time round. I'm determined to stick around and try again, but if others aren't prepared to make the same sacrifice, then we're back at square one.

But the bottom line is, bar a very slim chance of Blunham not getting promoted because of their facilities not being good enough, we have another season of bottom-division cricket next season on Sundays.

For me though, a more immediate problem has arisen. It's now the end of the cricket season, which means nothing to look forward to for the weekends except for boredom. I have debated in the past few posts about what to fill my Winter with, and I have yet to make a decision. But the past week, I have been inundated with messages, almost begging for me to go back to Mowsbury Athletic Football Club.

I have been thinking about it. Their keeper has left them in the lurch by transferring back to his old club, and now Mowsbury Athletic are left without a keeper. Father Mitten is their current keeper, and although he does enjoy it, the general consensus is that they need a better one. Mother Mitten isn't happy about it, and neither are the current squad. Even I do admit they need a better keeper if they are to keep up their streak of promotions, but gone are the days where I make decisions based around what other people want. The main question is, do I want to play? And I'm torn down the middle.

On one hand, yes, I will be occupied during the Winter and it is at least something to do. On the other hand, I really have fallen out of love with football as a sport. I am convinced it is full of "smegheads" (as a friend put it earlier!), and it's hard to disagree with him. Will i enjoy it? Will I want to get out of bed on a cold, wet Sunday morning to go and partake in a sport I don't necessarily want to be involved in anymore? I don't know... But as their season started today, (with a 4-4 draw none the less), it is a decision I need to make sooner rather than later.

I go to bed then, rather disappointed. Yes, we got promoted as champions in the Saturday league, but I would have been very annoyed with anything less. The main goal this season was to get going on the promotion front on Sundays, and yet again we have failed. Part of me wants to take responsibilty, as captain, for that failure, but the other part of me says I was one of probably 2 or 3 people who the team would have been very screwed without. Without wanting to sound big-headed, if it wasn't for me and the large help of a couple of others, "off-the-pitch", we wouldn't even have left ourselves a chance whilst on it.

Onwards.