Life is flying by.
As we reach the end of March, my mind wonders what happened to the first three months of the year. Once more, I have stories of happiness and stories of despair, but I'm scared about the future. I still feel like I want to be that 18-year old. But the 18-year old who lived in the moment, not the 18-year old that regretted after. I am at the age now where I'm between childhood and responsibility; stuck in the middle.
And stuck in the mud.
I tweeted yesterday. Not for the first time obviously, but I said how it can sometimes be glorious coming home to an empty flat. The independence, the not having to worry about anyone else and just doing your own thing. In equal measure though, like last night, it can sometimes be soul destroying. Another night alone...
"It'll come" my friends say, and I hope it will. I get by, day by day remembering how far I've come from those dark days...
Do you remember walking into school,
thinking you weren’t the norm?
Playing up to the popular tag
to keep that feeling warm.
Do you remember playing sport
around those good-looking lads?
Trying not to stare and look
in fear of angry Dads.
Do you remember crying at night
and wishing the world away?
Dreading all that tomorrow would bring
not wanting another day.
Do you remember that fateful trip
up north to see your friends?
If only you saw what the world was like
through an entirely different lens.
Do you remember that drive at night
not caring where you ended?
Forgetting the people who brought you up
and all you had befriended.
Do you remember what it was like
being that scared and frightened teen?
But imagine your life, all twenty four years,
if all that anguish would never have been…
Monday 28 March 2016
25 Things I've Learned at 25
1) To always be kind. It really isn't that difficult and it's amazing what one act of kindness can do to someone's day.
2) To respect your elders and call elderly strangers 'Sir' and 'Madam'. There's nothing wrong and everything right with a bit of good old-fashioned respect.
3) To always try to follow your dreams. However fast or slow those dreams materialise, if you want it badly enough, they will come to fruition.
4) To get enough sleep. Whether you're the Maggie Thatcher type and can be productive on 4 hours or like me need a bit longer, always go into the next day at 100%. We need it in this busy world.
5) Network. The people you can meet could change your world.
6) It's okay to be sad every now and then. Not every day is going to be 100% perfect.
7) In the midst of good times, stop for a second and appreciate that blissful feeling.
8) Ignoring beauty magazines. Whether it's the girly chick-flick mags or the muscle-filled men's magazines, those guys are airbrushed to perfection. Appreciate your beauty, as beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
9) Work to live, not live to work.
10) Don't be scared to reveal your true feelings. They'll eat you up if you don't.
11) Don't "What if" or "Maybe". My negative experiences would have been worse if I didn't experience them at all.
12) To express yourself. Through words or through art, or through love. Express.
13) To laugh at yourself. Self-deprecation is the first step to overall appreciation of the world.
14) To try and travel. It isn't for everyone, (I found that it wasn't for me) but you'll just regret not trying if you don't.
15) To tell my Mum that I love her. Every single day.
16) Always be prepared to say yes.
17) Always be prepared to say no.
18) Look to better yourself. Whether the incentive is a better job description, better working hours, more money. Don't get stuck in the mud.
19) Bad thoughts will pass and be replaced by good ones. Always.
20) Memories are greater than possessions.
21) Try and educate those around you, even if their views drive you mad.
22) Don't be scared to ask for help. From anyone and everyone.
.
23) Find a field you're passionate about to work in. Life is too short to be working in a job you hate.
24) Stand up for yourself.
25) Love.
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