Saturday 12 March 2011

Undecided, (Again)

These weekends come round awfully fast don't they? No? Well, seeing as any sort of activity in the life of Mitten comes in these 2 days, I suppose it's the only time of the week where I awake from my midweek induced stupor and participate in real world activity.

18 minutes have elapsed of the weekend so far, and I'm happy to report that nothing has happened. I've spent the last 2 days re-living the momentous Ashes Tour Down Under, and then finding out I had another copy sent to me, meaning some daft paperwork and a printer that went on some sort of industrial action, probably over the condition its left in, left to gather dust in the corner of my parent's bedroom. After an eventual agreement over pay and conditions, the package now lays in the kitchen, waiting for it's second dispatchment, unless someone can provide me with a better offer. I didn't think so either.

So, to tot up the bank tally after this truly dreadful error of judgment from moi, I suppose I'd better referee hadn't I! Wootton Reserves vs Eastcotts AFC, a very, very, very, very .... (I could go on forever), very average fixture in which I will no doubt recieve my usual quota of phrases such as, "That's crap ref!" and "Are you watching this game?!"

No. No I am not. In fact, I am watching the delightful bluebottle that has just raced into that nearby oak tree, and decided to build a nest there. What the hell else do you think I'm watching? Imbesiles.

It didn't help that when I rang the manager of the home team earlier, who had not bothered to ring me to confirm the fixture, spoke to me in such a manner that suggested I was missing a number of my brain cells and was in fact, a hippo. When I find the place in which I am officiating, (a usual worry of mine because of paranoia of getting extremely lost), I recieve no sort of hospitality at all, usually getting given the key to a so-called, "changing room", that smells like many babies have been changed in them, before going about my usual pre-match routine, that no player in the history of the game appreciates is vitally important, until their own ears get ripped out by the earring they so stupidly got done thanks to peer pressure in the 1980's. The 90 minutes happens, usually with a lot of goals in between, seeing as no team of this standard bothers about defending, aswell as being shouted at monotonously for being a useless kid and I get paid £23 and go home again.

Do you see the problem? I'm not sure whether I'm enjoying this refereeing lark or not. I don't like the fact I have to start at the bottom and work my way up. And I know it's like that in life generally. I'm supposed to be doing it because I enjoy it, because I want to do it and I like doing it, but at the moment, I'm still completely undecided. I'm not looking forward to refereeing later at all, but I should be. I'm not dreading it, or don't want to do it. I just... don't enjoy it as much as I used to. These days, especially with things as they are, part of me feels like I HAVE to do it, to gain even a moment of respectability.

Ok, after a moments thought, I have put it down to it being the end of the season, and I may be getting slightly fed up football in general, a usual diagnosis when it comes to March, as my thoughts wander to Summer based activity.

Talking of football, (like I have been for the last million years), tonight at training was, different. I got injured. Something that doesn't happen very often. After saving a particularly powerful shot, I got a searing pain up my right elbow, and bowed out at an early stage, almost England Cricket-esque, (not yet!). However, I was invited to play in the match as a right-back, seeing as I don't need my elbow at right-back. I haven't played out on pitch in 5 years. I had never, ever played as a right-back and it's safe to say I wasn't Gary Neville, but more Krusty the Clown. As Alan Pardew once famously said... I got raped.

Still, it was something different and after I came home, indulged on a box of 20 mini donuts, of which only 3 remain, it's time to enjoy the middle of the afternoon. It is nearly 1am after all.

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