Monday 4 November 2013

I'm Quite Alright Here

Been a while.

People ask me. "Don't you regret coming home from Australia? Surely it's amazing out there..."

Simple answer. No. Not one bit. Its got to a point now that I'm not allowed to complain about life here, just like every other Briton seems to do, in a way that only Britons can, because I could have the alternative. Australian sun, cold beer and a tan. I don't even like beer. But the fact of the matter is, I do love where I live. Sure, Bedford was voted the unhappiest place in the whole of the UK, but I quite like it. If you look hard enough, there are things to do, although I could easily disprove that theory after the evening I had. It involved aimlessly walking around town listening to my iPod. I'll get to that in a minute...

I'm quite proud of my wee little hometown. On the cover, it seems to be your bog-standard town. A high street, a rowdy and arguably dangerous façade on a Saturday night and an Aldi. Every place has its down sides, but get to know the right people, and its quite a marvellous little community.

You can see I'm making a deliberate attempt to be positive can't you? I've been doing it all day, because, ever since Saturday, I've felt it coming. November has hit, and its getting ever closer. I make no bones about it, the next few months will be difficult. I'm not entirely sure I'm tackling it in the best way, as I continue what I have done all Summer. Work in the week, and live it up at the weekends. Drink a lot of JD and forget about whatever is coming. Oh dear, that sounds like the words of an alcoholic...

But its true. Sure, I made a valiant attempt at improving my evening earlier, although no one else wanted to play ball and it ended up being a walk to town for a McDonalds and a half-price box of Milk Tray before walking home again. I just didn't want to stay in the house really. I've learnt that that really isn't a good thing to do. I have learnt a lesson or two. At least I can say I am making an effort to try and improve things in the upstairs department. I have another counselling session in a couple of weeks. A one-on-one session to discuss my 'perfectionism'. I know. Apparently, I set myself impossible goals, and always feel like I've fallen short when I don't reach them. Its a fair diagnosis that one... I can't really argue against it, as I know they're right.

And yet, I know I'm not the only one. Its literally dawned on me in the past few weeks, that so many people think the same way. Or at least similar. There are so many people out there who want to be perfect. But who is? Really? I have a job that includes the word 'Manager' in it, at 22 years old. My Area Manager was visibly delighted when I got back from Australia. I am wanted. I have a lot of friends who love me, and I love them. Perspective...

I quite like One Direction's new song. 'Story of my Life'. The video is actually brilliant aswell. Its on repeat. Judging not allowed.

I'm moving out. I'm banking on landing a new role at a bigger post office branch in the new year, something that isn't guaranteed by any stretch of the imagination, but the time has come for me to leave this house. I can't really imagine living anywhere else. 22 years, 5 months and 14 days I've lived here. I've laughed in here, shouted in here, and cried in here... A lot of memories reside in this place...

We live on. Another day tomorrow. Lets see what it brings...

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