Daylight Saving Time

Life is flying by.

As we reach the end of March, my mind wonders what happened to the first three months of the year. Once more, I have stories of happiness and stories of despair, but I'm scared about the future. I still feel like I want to be that 18-year old. But the 18-year old who lived in the moment, not the 18-year old that regretted after. I am at the age now where I'm between childhood and responsibility; stuck in the middle.

And stuck in the mud.

I tweeted yesterday. Not for the first time obviously, but I said how it can sometimes be glorious coming home to an empty flat. The independence, the not having to worry about anyone else and just doing your own thing. In equal measure though, like last night, it can sometimes be soul destroying. Another night alone...

"It'll come" my friends say, and I hope it will. I get by, day by day remembering how far I've come from those dark days...

Do you remember walking into school,
thinking you weren’t the norm?
Playing up to the popular tag
to keep that feeling warm.
Do you remember playing sport
around those good-looking lads?
Trying not to stare and look
in fear of angry Dads.
Do you remember crying at night
and wishing the world away?
Dreading all that tomorrow would bring
not wanting another day.
Do you remember that fateful trip
up north to see your friends?
If only you saw what the world was like
through an entirely different lens.
Do you remember that drive at night
not caring where you ended?
Forgetting the people who brought you up
and all you had befriended.
Do you remember what it was like
being that scared and frightened teen?
But imagine your life, all twenty four years,
if all that anguish would never have been…