What 2016 Holds

So, the end of another year. It brought moments of fun and moments of madness, and one particular moment of genuine horror, but we made it guys. We made it. A lot of people note how fast it has gone for them, and my year is no different. I was only just getting used to writing '2015' instead of '2014'. In 2015, I've been backstage at one of Eurovision's biggest events; featured in Attitude Magazine and played cricket dressed as Shrek.

But enough of looking back. Let's look forward. New Year used to send me into all sorts of different emotions, whether that be regret or trepidation. One year, I even attempted suicide on New Years Eve. I used to berate myself for not doing well enough in the past twelve months and dread what lay ahead. Back in the days of my perfectionism. If I hadn't had the perfect year, (which is obviously impossible), it had been a bad year. I'm pleased to say I've moved on and learnt lessons. A lot of people use the mantra of 'New Year New Me' at this time of year, but I'm going to go with, 'New Year Same Me'. Without the pressure I put on myself, I have recognised that smiling is the perfect tonic for any situation and that we can't be perfect all of the time. Without the pressure of insurmountable targets and a modicum of appreciation for all that I have in this world, I have come out of 2015 a better man.

When I was 18, I felt like I HAD to go to university straight from school. It was the done thing, and if I didn't, I'd feel like I was falling behind. When I was a referee, I'd look to get promoted every season, with one hiccup along the way reducing me to tears. But recently, I've learnt there's no such thing as "falling behind". Taking life at one's own pace is critical to a happy result. Sure, I'd love to have finished my novel and be sitting here talking about trying to get it published, but I don't want to rush it. And what I've come to realise is there is no need to rush it. I'd love to be sitting here talking about reaching 200 poems written, but quality beats quantity. I may be a fully functioning member of adult society now; paying income tax and doing ironing, but I'm 24. I'm still so fucking young with so much to look forward to.

In just over a week's time, I start my new job. A promotion and a change in departments, working on the acute mental health wing at Bedford Hospital. Having been an inpatient there myself, I am really looking forward to learning all about a field that is growing in appreciation and recognition. Mental Health is one of my passions and I can't wait to get started.

Just before I start that job, I am attending the launch of the charity I have committed to working for called The World Youth Organisation, which I am very excited about. To be involved in what is potentially a huge charity is extremely exciting, and I am very honoured to be alongside some very intelligent and inspirational young people.

I've also started to just not worry. At the beginning of the year, I feared going out and having a few drinks because I felt like I didn't deserve to. Now I've learnt that it's perfectly okay to let your hair down. Work hard, play hard as they say. I've started not to worry about how people perceive me or worry about what I'm saying and how I'm saying it. I've learnt that being worried about money is pointless. I've learnt that hard work is the perfect solution for a sad day and I've learnt to appreciate everything and everyone around me. Sounds soppy? I don't care.

Maybe all of this started to kick in and take hold in October time. The harrowing events of that month are events I will never forget, but everything could, and probably should have been so different. Whatever happens from here on in, I will always remember that.

So, what does 2016 hold? More memories to make and enjoying the company of the people who help make them. 2016 holds more of the same. Progress is to be made, however slow it may seem.