Lights, Camera, ACTION!

If you follow me on any social media channel going, you'll know that I have spent much of this past week filming a documentary on homophobia for the BBC. I mentioned it in this blog a while back, but it got delayed for one reason or another. This past week, I have learnt a lot about the world of television, met some incredible people and made some amazing memories.

On Tuesday, we spent a few hours in the morning asking questions to football fans in my hometown of Bedford. We asked them about the lack of diversity in football, the absence of an out gay footballer in top-flight leagues and what can be done about it. I won't give the answers away, but we got some interesting responses! Tuesday was the small stint, as we strolled around Bedford town reigning people in, as if we were internet salesmen.

The real action began yesterday (Friday), with a whole day filming in my flat, in the local LGBT bar and at Kempston Rovers FC. We started off the day in my humble abode; the living room was temporarily transformed into a film set. My small coffee table was shunted to one side as Alfredo the Camera Man messed about with different angles and lighting as we milled around.

Before I go any further, the phrase "milling around" is one that took on a new meaning for this weekend. You'll know what I mean when I explain what happened.

So, about 30 minutes of trial and error, finding the absolute perfect degree of lighting and the best angle, myself and my friend Robbie began our conversation on the issue of homophobia in football. Again, I won't give too much away, but we got a lot of compliments on how comfortable we were on camera and the nature of our conversation. Robbie asked a lot of probing questions and I think we did really well. The conversation continued outside, as we were filmed walking towards the pub. The walk from my flat to the pub is about ten minutes max, but this particular walk took 3 or 4 times longer. The main road towards the pub is a hub of activity, and we got a lot of awkward looks as a full film crew followed us down the road.

"Are you BBC News?!" shouted one onlooker. We smiled and waved him on... We got a lot of that...

The conversation continued at the pub, as we bought an early afternoon pint. Most of it had gone by the time we actually started filming again. The lighting had to be perfect etcetera etcetera. I do appreciate that these things need to be spot on, so we waited patiently talking about anything. The Champions Trophy final. Funny incidents from the club. The surreal nature of being in a BBC documentary...

We had probably been at it for a few hours before we made the trip to our third and final location, Kempston Rovers FC. Robbie's official job was done, but he came along to have a look. I knew that we would be filming a lot of my personal story for the rest of the day, so had to re-focus and reassure myself that I was doing the right thing, for the greater good.

On paper, the idea of telling my own story of homophobia in football sounded like a really great and noble one. When it came to actually doing it, in front of a camera knowing that this was definitely going to be broadcast was another kettle of fish. However, before we got to that, we worked on a few theatrical shots to fill the gaps between the content. We come to another personal hurdle to jump, and it's one that I wasn't expecting...

The idea from the directors was that they would film as I got changed from my "normal" clothes into a football kit. It's a go-to shot for filming anything football related it seems. As soon as they suggested it I thought, "Uh oh". My kebab and JD filled stomach isn't ready for BBC exposure just yet! It's not a topic I've touched upon very much, but I, along with a lot of people I suppose, are quite body conscious. Not to the degree of it being dangerous - I'm not that fussed about getting my body out. I don't do anything to help myself in all honesty, (he types as he scoffs quickly-bought chicken and chips), but this is a show that will (hopefully) be watched by thousands of people. This was a tad different.

However, the shot was simply from behind me, with my upper back and head in shot as I changed my shirt. I am quite lucky that I've got broad shoulders so it actually looks like I'm quite athletic (I say in hope!). It's just the beer belly where things get messy! It was very odd being asked to change from normal shirt to football shirt about ten times while they got the perfect shot, but I was kinda glad when we called "cut!" for the final time on that particular segment.

Things got serious outside, as we filmed more theatrical shots that included a camera going round me in circles as I did some kick-ups and tricks, which was pretty cool. It was nice to know that I've still got the moves! Hopefully they'll make the final cut! Then, possibly the most important part of the whole documentary for me, was my own personal story of experiencing homophobia on the football pitch a couple of years ago. The whole story is a few posts back on this blog, so if you want to know more, then hunt that down. But that took a good hour and it was very, very tough.

It's only been a few months since I've spoken about what happened before, but the reality of what we were actually doing here really hit home at this point. It's one thing writing about what happened. It's quite another knowing you're going to be on TV talking about it. We got through it though, even if hayfever was severely impacting my ability to talk properly at this point, and after a couple more theatrical shots of me trying (and failing) to smash the ball into the top corner of an empty goal, we called it a day. 8 hours later...

We move on to today, the final day of filming. I had to make the two-hour trip to Beckenham, South East London for this one, at a place called 'Goals', which was a huge place made up of 10 five-a-side pitches and a neat bar/café. It was a pretty impressive place, and it was also the location of a game that was going to happen between a gay-friendly side called London Titans and a "normal" 5-a-side team.

(For the purposes of explanation, I'm going to use "gay friendly" and "normal" to differentiate. Don't read anything into it!)

It was a few hours before we started working at all, as I arrived at 10am and the rest didn't turn up until about 1 o'clock. Again, (I'm not sure why), the directors wanted footage of the Titans getting changed into their kit. A couple of them found this slightly odd, (I got the impression one of them had serious reservations about getting his kit off in front of camera - which is fair enough - it is quite an ask if you're quite conscious about it), so the "normal" side did that bit. A couple of them were pretty hot to be fair, so they had no qualms about showing off in front of camera!

Another delay as the film crew got out their perfectionist hats once more as we took a few takes to film me putting my gloves on. As soon as we had done that, we were out on the pitch. Myself in goal, Calum, Jasper, Joe and Charlie out on pitch. We also borrowed a 6th player as a sub, a very good player called Az, for good reason, as it was ABSOLUTELY SWELTERING.

Now, I never knew how difficult it is to play football in near 30 degree heat, but I can tell you it is not very pleasant. The nearest I can get to was a weird early October heatwave about 5 or 6 years ago, when I refereed a game in similar temperatures, but we were out on that pitch for a good few hours today. I was wearing a long-sleeved goalkeeper jersey with thick goalie gloves on, and within half an hour, I could feel myself losing weight.

Yes, that's probably a good thing.

Our 40-minute game, (that was extended to nearly 50 minutes for reasons unknown*) was actually extremely competitive. Here were two teams, playing in a recreational game of 5-a-side with nothing riding on it, taking it very, very seriously. I knew it wasn't going to be a casual kick around, but within 5 minutes, I realised I had to be on the very top of my game. I didn't want to let down my new teammates, as I worked out very quickly that we were, in effect, representing a whole community out there. We didn't want to lose, or even worse, whitewashed, especially as it was all being filmed. I played pretty well, considering it was the first time I'd played in goal in over two years. There were no calamities and I made a few decent saves but we lost out in the end by a couple of goals.

It was extremely warm work. I struggled out there and I did nothing but make a few saves. The guys who were running around doing all the hard work were absolutely spent by the end of the game. A couple of them admitted to feeling light-headed. The production team wanted to carry on doing some more shots and theatrical set ups and you could sense the players getting more and more annoyed and flustered as they were asked to repeat and repeat and repeat for another hour after the actual game had finished.

I can tell you, if I heard the phrase, "That's perfect! Let's do it again!" one more time, I'd have walked off. This whole experience has been absolutely incredible, but the one minor flaw in it is the sheer amount of "milling around" that was done. I would hazard a guess that I was on set for around 24 hours this week, and I was involved in about 2 or 2 and a half hours worth of film, that will be cut down to accommodate a 30-minute documentary.

That's a lot of waiting.

One final sum up of the events later, involving me lacing up my trainers with rainbow laces, and after being on set for nearly 11 hours, I started my journey home with a smile on my face. At times this experience has been long-winded. Our original plan was to film in April/May and for it to be broadcast by now, but it didn't turn out that way. There was also a brief scare as I had to find someone to cover for me at work for today's filming - the main part of the documentary - or face being dropped from it altogether which would have been heart-breaking given how much I have looked forward to doing this, and the sheer importance of the topic we were facing. However, it all worked out in the end and I simply cannot wait to see and hear the final product.

If ever anyone else gets an opportunity to do something similar, for whatever reason, do it. Be prepared for a lot of waiting and a lot of constant and seemingly needless adjustments along the way, but when you actually get down to filming it, the experience of being on camera is amazing. It's a brief glimpse into the world of a film star. To say that you've been the subject of a documentary about trying to make a positive change is just brilliant and something I'll remember forever. I'm really looking forward to the reaction it gets and if anything changes as a result.

The documentary is going to be broadcast on Thursday 3rd August on BBC Three and on iPlayer, with a radio documentary also in the pipeline (details of which are TBC). Put it in your diaries!

*We think the directors tried to extend the game so we had a chance of winning... We didn't.