The Jokes on Me

1st April. The classic day for pranksters and jokers alike, however, the joke was on me today. It wasn't a practical joke, in fact, it wasn't a joke at all because I genuinely had to sit through 8 solid hours of slide show, presentation, cartoon and video for the first part of my training at BP. Now, I turned up expecting it to be boring, but I didn't expect to turn up having to sit in the same chair for 8 hours solid, (with only a 20 minute break at lunch), to learn trivial things like where petrol comes from and how it is transported to the pumps along with things like how to lift a box and how to read a bit of paper with some writing on..

Aswell as sitting through video after video, I had assessments to do aswell. These are only completed if you answer every single question right and if you are stupid enough to get one wrong, you have to sit through and endure the whole section again. Sections ranged from 45 minutes to 2 hours. Only I could get a question wrong on a video section that lasted 2 hours. So I was subjected to watching the most boring video on lifting boxes, that I had already seen, for another 2 hours. I would rather have watched 'The Village'. And that's saying something. However, the 8 hours came and went, albeit at the pace of a disabled snail and I finally got to go home, with a headache and my brain frazzled by hours of health and safety regulation.. The good news is though, I'm not even halfway through yet! Oh the joys!

The people working there however, now I suppose my 'colleagues', had good fun in laughing at my misfortune, although it was in a friendly way and they helped me out if I was stuck which probably saved me another couple of hours of torture. Come 6pm, (or I think it was 6:20), my eyes were literally square and my head was fit to burst with Food Safety Acts, Petroleum Acts, Environmental Protection Acts and of course, "how to lift a heavy box". The only funny part of the day was laughing at the awful acting in the scenario videos. I doubt I will see many robbers who look like an OAP Lord Voldermort and his assistant who looked like Paddington Bear. I'm happy I've got a day off tomorrow however, before the weekend slog of finishing the dire training before starting the proper work on Monday. This means I am officially ruled out of football Sunday, (which I probably would of been anyway because of the old knee), so it's worked out OK. Just these videos.. awful..

I had the option of going out on the town this evening, however, I still have a lack of money, my head is still hurting from 8 hours of constant laptop watching and I am generally very tired so the benefits wouldn't be huge. I may well be getting an early night for once which is something that isn't very 'me'! Current time: 21:06.

Just a quick word on April Fools Day actually.. I had a couple of pranks lined up and none of them turned out to work and be successful.. 4 male friends have also announced they're going to be Fathers, which is a bit of a coincedence and I heard of a friend of mine who had pranked his Headteacher at school. That takes guts... literally... as he placed some belonging to a poor pig on the Headteacher's chair. Disgusting boy!

Right, that's me done. Yes, I am fully aware I hadn't updated for 3 days before this so for those of you who were asking, you need to find something else to do with your evenings!

Ciao x