Dying, Dying, Dead

Do you remember last Saturday night where I ended up going to sleep at 2.30am after writing a few strange words in here? Yeah? I didn't. That random coffee I had during the phase where I thought I would stay awake was a very bad idea. I ended up getting to sleep at 4am, and waking up at 5.15am, with the screaming of the alarm clock, was surprisingly easy. Yeah, you weren't expecting me to say that were you! Easy!

I think it must of been the fact that I never really went to sleep. Not really. I probably was properly ASLEEP for around 30 minutes. After a few cornflakes and another, properly timed coffee, I drove to work, with the Sun high in the sky for 8 hours of pure and utter delightfulness at the "Berp". It was an average shift. I mean, it didn't go quickly, but it wasn't horribly, horribly slow either and at least I had cricket to look forward to later in the day. If I could make it. After 2 hours of work, I was dead on my feet. I had already had 6 coffees and a can of Red Bull by the time my break came around at 10am, and despite spending the last couple of hours wobbling on my feet in tiredness, plus a few more coffees, (resulting in eventual stomach ache), I made it through to the end. I rushed out at 2:05 to make it to cricket, albeit a bit late.

Any normal person would go home to bed. 3 and a half minutes after leaving work however, I found myself padding up to go into bat at Number 3, and for about an hour and a half, I sat in my pads, waiting for one of the openers to get out. I was nearly falling asleep, and after hearing TK getting clean bowled for a very patient 37, I reckon now that it may have literally woken me up. Needless to say I didn't bat well at all, but I wasn't expecting anything more. Congratulations to Andy Collins however, getting his maiden ton! What with Bedford's new electronic scoreboard, it made the occasion just that little more special! We had made 215 in our 45 overs, a par score for the pitch we were playing on, and I figured that fielding this afternoon, never a phenomonal occasion if I'm honest, was going to be impossible for me.

What happened though, was extraordinary. Our opening bowlers, Skipper Montieth and the returning Nick Boon, bowled immaculately. After 10 overs, they were 12-0, and I was stood at 3rd slip, jumping around like a man on speed, trying to stay alert. The chances you get in the slips need insane reaction times and phenomonal hand-eye co-ordination.

11th over. The Ampthill opening batsman was clearly under pressure, scoring just the 1 run off 30 balls. Boony bowled a ball a bit short and the opener prodded at it, taking a thick outside edge. I could see it coming towards me, to my right, and I hurled myself there, with an outstretched mitten and felt the ball place itself in the middle of my palm. What a catch. Exactly what Boony deserved, as I was, rightly so, given most of the plaudits for an insane bit of fielding.

So they were... Not Many for 1, and we were clearly on top. There was no way they were chasing down 215, and after 14 overs, they were 14-1. We were "sledging" a bit, coming up with lines like, "I've seen snails bat faster than this" amongst others. Village banter for a village cricket match. I, however, had not finished there.

15th over. The other Ampthill opening batsman, also under mountaneous pressure after a slow start, was starting to try and accelerate a bit. Another short-ish ball from Boony however, was edged once more, and me, standing at a straighter 2nd slip, saw the ball go high above me... There was no way I could catch it. I jumped anyway, getting my arm up in the air as far as I humanly could... The next thing I knew... I was laying on my back with the ball ledged between my middle finger and index finger... Even I, with a reputation of taking spectacular one-handers, was amazed that I had managed to cling on to this one... The first catch, I had reacted well, throwing the ball into the air, as fielders do, milking the plaudits from an onrushing team on a spectacular catch. The 2nd catch, no one had moved, as they had not believed that I had caught it. Boony was just standing there saying, "How the fuck....", Skipper Montieth was just walking towards me with his arms outstretched, and Keeper TK was the only one to rush over to me instantly, shouting with delight at what he had just witnessed.

I have taken many, many catches in my cricket career, but that one HAS to be the best. It has to be. I do wish that, one day, one of these insane one-handers can be caught on camera... That would be cool!

I did, obviously, eventually, get a load of hugs and high-fives, but I still cannot quite believe it. Hitting tons takes copious amounts of concentration and technique, but these 2 moments took reflexes, reactions and to be honest, a bit of luck to make them happen. And seeing I was nearly asleep...

Tons take hours. Slip catches take milliseconds. Sometimes I just love cricket.

Sorry to bore some of you to death, (probably), with that story, but in my mind it was one that just had to be told! We won in the end by a fair amount of runs, and whilst everyone, rightly so, congratulated Andy on a fantastic 109, I was already in my car, driving home, to bed. I felt I had deserved it.

Today, after a marathon 14-hour kip, (Lovely!), I found myself back on a tennis court for the first time since last Summer. This rare event was going to be more awkward in more ways than one, involving a story that is too long to go into now... Anyway, I managed to find a racket I never knew I had, and it was fair to say I was simply awful. If I had told you that I was one half of a winning Under-15 County Championships pair, you'd have laughed in my face. It was like watching Rafael Nadal against some dodgy Uzbekistani qualifier. Three-quarters of my forehands never made it close it going 'in', and I was soundly beaten 6-2 6-0, by Mr.G, who I used to play with quite a lot, "back in the day"... I may be playing again tomorrow, hopefully with a better forehand and a better result.

I'm starving.