Saturday 19 June 2010

When I Get Older, I Will Be Stronger

And everybody will be singin' yeahhhh..

I had a strange feeling my good mood wouldn't last for more than a day. I was very right. Work was an absolute bitch and for the first time .. ever.. the jobs that were not done tonight that were supposed to be were blamed on me, because of.. him. I find it highly unfair but I kept telling myself, "just agree with it, do the jobs and go home.. Just do it, don't complain". It was hard and once again I had to bite my tongue real tough to not openly lose my temper with The Wall, but once again I remembered the time I did lose my temper with another human being and the consequences it led to and once again, I bottled it up... I don't wish to sound brash, but I do not want to be the person facing me when I snap. And I will snap. A month, a year, a decade ... I will.. some time..

Still, 1 down ... errr.. 7 to go..? Ah man, I'm not liking this already. I have to use techniques to get me through shifts like imagining driving home at 6.15am every morning and invisaging the pay slip coming through the door with a large amount of money on it and the holiday we have booked for mid-July. Just happy things to keep me going and get me through the hours. It's hard though, almost too hard..

My Dad said something today. I got home from my appraisal. My probation period is over now at work and I get a 9p pay rise. Woopee! However, I got home and Father Mitten asked about it. I told him it wasn't a very drawn out process and it was just signing a couple of forms. He then said he was proud of me. Proud? The son who had caused a whole host of problems over the last 2 years and his Father is still proud.. It knocked the wind out of me... He doesn't say that very often.. He admitted he didn't think I'd last this long working nights, he thought I didn't have the bottle. And he was proud that I had. Proud. It's a strong word. Proud.

My mood, which then was happy, went fast downhill from then on, watching England play out a frustrating goalless draw against minnows Algeria and then going to work. Seriously guys, I've spoken to most of you a fair bit about this guy, and most of you are probably thinking I overreact, but when you spend half of your week in the company of this man, this awful, childish, patronising, boring and useless man, you have no choice but to hate him. And I mean hate. Hate is also a strong word, but I honestly, have never disliked someone as much as I dislike this person. Honestly. My determination to not give up however is stronger than anything I have ever done. I am not going to give up because of some invalid who can't do anything properly. He called in sick yesterday, (I wasn't working), because of a bad back. Seriously? A bad back? My Dad goes to work for 50 hours a week with osteo-arthritis which is a constant and very painful back and hip condition and this moron can't handle 8 hours because of an itch.. Seriously, this guy needs a fuckin' kick up the jacksie..!

Incidentally, the osteo-arthritis is hereditary, I may have mentioned it before, so I am destined for a life of painful joints and broken backs.. Oh, the joys.

Time to look on the bright side. I have cricket later this afternoon. My last as captain and at The Bury, which is a fantastic place to play, and I'm looking forward to it. Hopefully I can get a good innings before I have to go back to work. And run into The Wall again..

Cya x

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