Playing with Fire

The last couple of days have been an event in life's tapestry. My plans to take my ex-boss to court over unpaid wages, (which was the event I wasn't so sure I could talk about), blew up in my face thanks to meddling parents. Or parent. Which one, shall remain a secret. I know full well that the process would have been a long drawn-out process but I was adament I wasn't going to let that scheming bastard get away with "saving money". This parent of mine had other ideas, however, and decided to just fuck it up without telling... Great! Make me look like a mug!

Aswell as this, something strange happened. I was literally being shouted at, (by text which ain't so bad..) from someone I used to care about and her meddling, drunken friend. Now, if I knew what I had done, I may understand.. but.. I just don't.. I have no idea why she has blown up and now she refuses to even talk to me.. My attitude to her now is the "fuck it" approach. I have too much to worry about without worrying about overreacting little madams like her if I'm gonna be brutally honest.

On to lighter news, I do have a job interview tomorrow. For a new Estate Agents opening in Stony Stratford, (wherever that is... I may have to look that one up..) so hopefully that goes well. I know the whole process, as with everything at the moment, will take forever, so I won't be starting for a while yet. Joy..

Recently, I get the feeling with me that sometimes I talk to people quite well and then other times its just as if Im not bothered? I don't know what you lot think about it but maybe this is me being slightly paranoid.. What with the couple of mistakes I've made recently, I get the feeling that people do not forgive as well as I do. Once again, I take the "fuck it" approach to mistakes and get on with it. People make them. So what? Doesn't mean you should hold a grudge.. People should forgive and forget a lot easier in my opinion. Yet again, it's not my life is it.

I know I'm useless at talking to people about problems. To be fair, there is only 1, maybe 2 people out there I can properly talk to. I'm talking to one of my friends now, he's a great mate don't get me wrong, but I'm speaking to him about problems and it scares the living shit outta me cos he responds as if it's the end of the world. Maybe it's just me that gets that.. I'll never be able to explain. Just maybe sometimes I want to hear something different.. something I want to hear rather than people being honest. Like now for example, this friend of mine is being brutally honest and now I wished I hadn't bought up the conversation... it feels like we've just drifted further apart because of this conversation. Why can't people just forgive and forget? Surely its so much easier?!

Watching Skins didn't help either. Basically made me think about all of my problems while the main character in this episode, (ironically also called Thomas), dealt with his. Our problems are very different but bring out the same reaction. Sadness. Ever since those darn A-Levels.. all the pressure surrounding them i just haven't been able to get rid of that feeling.. I can't. I really can't.