Wet Socks

Monday didn't exist for me yet again. After an eventful Sunday full of not sleeping, I was determind to make something of my night, despite the lack of things to do in the dark and the amount of people to do it with..

This meant calling upon people who I know would be awake at such times. People who have no knowledge of sleep and are hedgehogs like me. Ash and Toby were present and an epic drive was imminent. I do enjoy these drives, despite feeling a little quiet as they talk about the most random subjects on the planet, but today was a little different.. We didn't do as much driving, (although we did a bit and I added to my collection of animal disembowlements by running over a rabbit and spilling it's guts on to the road), but instead went for a little walk. Well, I say little.. In fact, it was definitely a few miles over a field and through some housing estate and back round again and seeing as we have had a lot of rain, and my trainers are getting old, I got wet socks.. Not the nicest of feelings as I'm sure you well know!

So now I'm home, with very little food to snack upon with a car full of Digestive crumbs and I'm bored. It's 04:46 and there is no point trying to get back into a normal sleeping pattern. I work again on Wednesday night and trying to amend it would be more tiring than leaving it. So I'm leaving it! Once again, I feel distant from the rest of the world who live normal lives as I will be asleep during the day tomorrow..

I'm going to be honest with you. As the nights get colder and the darkness drops in ever more suddenly, the slightest bit of depression is beginning to set in. With not a lot to look forward to at the weekends except a cold, wet football match and the coldness of nights, (especially in a store that spends nothing on heating), life is going to be grim. And don't I just know it.

Big news also. I've quit refereeing. For the time being at least, I cannot do what I have done all Summer with refereeing. Waking up at 1pm to be shouted at constantly will only make me more unpleasent and I get the feeling my health is being affected by it. One cannot possibly do all that he wants anymore... I sent an e-mail to the referee secretary, who, rather worringly, hasn't replied yet and I hope beyound anything that he isn't angry. He will be inside, just I hope he doesn't show it.. Please?

Times are still difficult at home, possibly made worse by me somehow ringing my Dad's mobile at 3am on Sunday night, somehow, but mistakes happen. My phone was off so something un-natural happened there...

Sometimes I just want things to be perfect. And sometimes, I just don't. Right now though, I want happiness. That is all.

x