Into Hibernation She Goes

The Mittenmobile is now lifeless. It has no insurance and seeing as it's highly illegal, driving it would create a large problem so now it is in the garage until I find enough money, (in other words, find a job), to pay for it again..

I'll miss the old thing. It may be falling apart at the seams and done a huge 74,000 miles, (exactly by the way as we drove round for nearly 3 hours this evening to get it to exactly 74k!), but it was the only thing in this life that I can say I own outright myself. The laptop I'm using at the moment may well mostly be used by me, but I didn't buy it, so technically it's not mine. To lose the only thing I possess is sad. It may only be an object but life will now be a lot harder without my trusty form of transport. Job-hunting will now be a lot harder as I will not be able to go that far afield, (probably not even outside Bedford), as the only form of transport I can use are my own two feet. I can't even afford a bus fare. Literally. I have a grand total of £0.46 in my name. I'm broke. Time has ran out.

This evening was fun though. I was always going to go out for a monster drive to give the good Mittenmobile a send off for the time being before I find work, but blaring out YMCA at top volume down one of the roughest roads in Bedford on a Saturday night takes guts. With the shell of the Mittenmobile surrounding us, I felt 100% safe. Almost... Now the car must waste away in the garage, with a minimal amount of petrol and exactly 74,000 miles on the clock until I can get lucky enough to find a job. Which, to be completely honest, seems 74,000 miles away..

If I can't find a job in the whole of Bedfordshire, Northampstonshire, Hertfordshire and straying into Cambidgeshire, how am I finding a job in the jobless town of Bedford? I get the feeling I'm going to be stranded at home with no money for a very long time and this will kill me. It will get me down and depressed, something I'm starting to feel I'm eventually getting over, and I am desperate for this not to happen. I would give anything for a decent amount of money right now. Simple as that. Even one of my kidneys ... or a lung.

I am determined to look on the bright side though. Refereeing will give me at least something to work with and seeing as I have no petrol to buy, this can go on my social life. Not nearly enough to buy car insurance due to the insurance companies stupid policy on boy-racing. How can a 1.1 engine cause an accident? It's about as fast as a milk float with Rik Waller driving. My life at the moment though is nothing. I'm a lost entity.

Tomorrow is Sunday. Football Sunday. Match in the morning followed by refereeing under-18s which will be crap as they are the gobbiest morons of the lot. I'm going to take the harsh attitude with them tomorrow I think. If they want to backchat to me, they're going to have to learn the hard way. Refereeing is the only thing in my life I can work on at the moment and my only form of income, so I need to take it seriously and do well in it and take as many games as possible. I've done 2 games in 3 days this week, (although I don't get the money for that till March). For once, I need to work hard and put in extra effort, not just on the refereeing front but also on the job-hunting. I'm not going to get anywhere by taking the same attitude I have done recently so I need to buck my ideas up and work hard to get what I want. Because that, is how life works.

Of course, I may already have a job, which I will hopefully find out on Monday, so all of this won't last for very long! My confidence on this front is waning though.. I'm determined to stay positive however. Negativity leads to sadness and sadness leads to depression. I don't want that. Been there, done that, bought the sad face t-shirt. I'm not going back there. I've never been more determined. Honestly.

Bye x