Seeing Red

The last 3 games I have refereed have drawn 8 red cards and 9 yellow cards which shows my refereeing career has been very interesting in recent times. I haven't spoken a lot about my refereeing in this blog, so now I'll tell you a bit about it. If you're not interested, go away. Give yourself a red card and skidaddle!

Anyway, I qualified as a referee in December 2005 and, as I have mentioned a few times before, it was the best thing I ever did. Aswell as making me more patient, successful under pressure and has provided me with tests of character that people can only dream of, (not that people dream about tests of character..), the qualification really has done more good for than bad. I have had good times, bad times, funny times and times which have just been plain stupid - refereeing is the bomb.

I have enjoyed my experiences vastly since registering with the Bedfordshire Football Association at the beginning of 2006. I have been given 3 county cup finals in 3 years, (including this year) and they have all been fantastic days out. I have really enjoyed them all. I have a few people to thank aswell. So I will. Most of these won't even look twice at this blog though.. Some of similarly-aged colleagues, Dassy, Sam, Nathan, Mark, Brian (not similarly aged he won't mind me saying!) and Slim to name a few have been great to work with and have provided me with opportunities themselves. One man stands out from the crowd though. Mr Chris Checketts. One of the best Referee Development Officers the world has ever seen, (there may only be about 20 of them mind you...) The amount of effort this guy puts in to refereeing for us is immense, and it usually goes without recognition. I don't agree with some of his philosophies and we've had our disagreements in the past, but overall, he is a superb help and has helped me develop as a referee no end, aswell as countless other referees. He is considered a legend in Bedfordshire refereeing and rightly so. I hope he sticks around...

Becoming a "Bastard in the Black" has also helped me gain a new perspective as a player of the game aswell. I will never tire of playing the beautiful game and I am not afraid to admit I used to be one of the mouthy little gits I hate now, before I became a referee. Since I now know what it's like to be on the receiving end of that - you won't ever see me question a referee's decision whilst in goal for Mowsbury Ath. The referee has a hard enough job. I hope everyone playing the game will learn that lesson, but unfortunately it won't happen.

My worst experience as a referee came roughly a year into my career. I was 15 years old and I had been placed on an Under-17 appointment at Mowsbury Park. I had not had any bad experiences as a referee so when this was done, I was shocked and not afraid to say, in tears. There is no other way I can put it other than - I was slaughtered. I nearly abandoned the match and it was only one of 2 matches in my life I have properly lost control of. At the end I walked off without my match fee. I just wanted to get out of there. Experiences like that will always make you stronger and my Dad persuaded me to carry on and stick with it. Things will get better. I will become better. I did. Thanks Dad. The other one was a year later and I was refereeing Luton Town Under-18s vs Brentford. I had just refereed the Under-16s before and I seem to remember it was a very fast paced game, so I was very tired. The shortage of referees was really hitting home at this point so I had no choice but to do consecutive games. To say this match was fiesty would be putting it very lightly and seeing I was physically and mentally drained, I was in no shape to control it. I gave in halfway through and handed the whistle over to the Luton coach. "I can't do it anymore." I walked off, again with tears in my eyes. It hurt.

I'm glad to say I carried on though. The last couple of weeks I have had a few incidents where in the past I would have no hope of controlling, but now, with experience under my belt, I stay calm and deal with it efficiently. Then dish out the reds - which just is the best part of refereeing. My main weapon. The red card. Lovely! To give a red card makes you feel powerful and shows you are not afraid to make big decisions. Of course, I have made my mistakes in the past and a couple of times when you give a decision, especially if its a big one, then realise straight away your are wrong, but you've got to back it up anyway.. Boy, that's tough. I'd like to see you try it.

This season though, maybe disregarding the last few weeks, I have felt like I can't develop anymore without quitting playing. I've got to a stage now where I feel I have to choose one or the other. Play or referee? It's a tough choice. I want to get promoted but you can't do that unless you officiate in 20 adult games. And seeing as I play in the adult leagues, I can't. Saying that, the deadline for applying for promotion is this coming Monday. 2 days.. I will probably wait another season and see.

So, nearly 4 and a half years has seen its highs and seen its lows but one thing is for sure. It's all been a rollercoaster ride!

Cya x